#beingvulnerable

✨ PSA! ✨ Your mental health and peace are worth more than pleasing others, especially your own family.

If you do not want to surround yourself with toxic family members during the holidays, or any other time really, you DO NOT have to. You DO NOT owe anyone anything. You DO NOT have to people please. You DO NOT have to be torn down.

Save yourself the pain and disappointment. Set boundaries because you are allowed to set them even if others don’t approve.

Save your mental health. Save your peace. Save your energy. Save yourself. You owe it to yourself to heal from within and to end all generational traumas. Make it stop with you.

Keep going.

Keep making progress.

Keep healing.

And so begins chapter T H I R T Y ✨

When the dreaded 30th birthday came I always thought that I would be further along - like the whole marriage, kids, white picket fence house, a high end career, etc. etc. - yanno, the way the movies made life seem like it should be. In my twenties I realized that was not realistic at all and that’s absolutely okay.

My twenties was full of nothing by growth and learning experiences. I went through so many moves, heartbreak, starting over, finding myself, learning to love myself, finding passions and hobbies, hiking, adventuring, traveling, opening up my creative side, starting a blog, finding my soulmate, and finding happiness. It wasn’t always easy, but I always found a way to make the best of it. I learned so many lessons, but the most important one was making myself a priority. I am so happy I learned how to be myself and how to love being myself because it opened up so many doors that I had closed.

After everything I went though in my twenties I would do it all again, as long as I ended up here in my thirties; building a life with the person I love, having all of my cats, being surrounded by the tribe I’ve chosen full of family and friends, my career with the State of Maine, our cute and homey townhouse, all of my adventures, all of my travels, all of the lessons I’ve learned and all of the experiences I’ve had. I’m happy to be where I am and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

There is something so special to me about fall and October. The time in between summer and winter is absolutely stunning. Everything is changing and getting ready for a new season. The colors are vibrant and lively. The weather is a crisp and perfect temperature. Comfy and oversized clothes are welcomed. It just feels different. It feels homey to me.

Like the world, we to go through seasons. Fall truly teaches us that it’s okay to let go because we are constantly changing and we will grow again. Nothing is permanent. Feel what you need to feel and let it go; don’t let it consume you. You will learn, you will grow, and you will always make a come back. 🤍✨

*All photos taken by me*

It was a peaceful, enlightening, and beautiful morning filled with yoga + meditation + all the cats.

One thing that stayed with me from this meditation session was “You are the creator of your own reality. Own your power.” YES. YES. YES.

Your thoughts, beliefs, perspectives and actions all play a part in your life. You have the power to change the way you see things. You have the power to change the way you think about things within and around you. If you create a more positive outlook, you will see the world differently.

Hold yourself accountable for everything; every thought, every moment. See beyond what scares you and do all of the things you thought you couldn’t.

Be aware. Be present. Create your intentions. See your reality. Own your reality.

Find your energy. Feel your energy. Direct your energy. Own your energy.

Empower yourself. Harness your strength. Create the life you want. Own your reality.

You deserve it. ✨

*All photos were taken by me*

*I am in the first photo*

Pulling affirmation cards after working out and meditating has been so helpful for me. These specific cards are great because they have explanations and quotes on the back that help me dive deeper and think a little bit more. It is also beneficial when journaling my thoughts and feelings.

Here are a few thoughts about this card - “I embrace my unique individuality.” 🌸✨

I’m still slowly learning who I am, but along the way I am embracing each new part of me that I find.

🌟 I’m learning to trust myself and my choices.

🌟 I’m finding new things that I’m good at and I’m working on them.

🌟 I’m believing in myself and thinking less of “no, you can’t” and more of “yes, you can”

🌟 I’m learning to stop comparing to others and I’m doing my best to stop asking for validation.

🌟 I’m learning to enjoy spending time with myself.

🌟 I’m becoming more confident and learning to love myself for who I am.

“i’ve been letting go

of heavy things

and I’ve been healing

a spirit, and tending to a soul, and

listening to a heart. and i’ve started to

exhale. and to breathe in… and to

breathe. in. a life

…and i’ve been letting go of

so, so many heavy things” 🤍

— butterflies rising 🦋

This journey - of healing and growing and blooming and finding myself and finding my own inner peace - is not easy. Some days I find myself absolutely crushing it and staying on top of everything I can.. but sometimes, like recently, I’m the complete opposite.

I haven’t felt like myself lately. I’ve been more sensitive and irritable and down. I haven’t created in months. I haven’t written anything for months. I haven’t been exercising, stretching or meditating. I haven’t been there for my people like I should. I’ve just been off.

Whenever I’m going through a rough patch like this I try to figure out what the route cause is because let’s be real - it didn’t just happen. Even though I feel so much happiness throughout the holidays, this time of year is still tough for me and I’m letting it affect me more than I thought. Plus life has just been outrageously busy. Unfortunately, not having the people you love around is tough, especially during the holidays. However, I am forever grateful for the family, biological or chosen, that I have around me.

So with that said, I’m slowly pulling myself out of this rut. Today I felt more productive than I have in a while; I had a productive day at work, I exercised, meditated, stretched and wrote. I’ve also been throwing together the hiking videos I’ve put to the side.