#behapppy

After approximately 5 years, I am finally getting the treatment that I needed. Alhamdulillah.

I was diagnosed with Endometriosis (is a disease where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus, causing pain and/or infertility) in the late of 2018. I had two Endometrotic Cyst removed from my Uterus. Both were growing on my Fallopian Tubes.

When I was first diagnosed with the condition, I had little to none information about the disease. All I could remember was the pain. So much pain. Accruciating pointy pain at my abdominan,back & thighs. There was one point in time before I went to A&E and was then diagnosed, I had troubel of walking properly. My legs were pulled down and that made me had a hard time. Those poking needle like pain drove me crazy.

Fast forward, after I had my cysts removed, I had a breakdown. The reality hit me. Knowing that every single time if I were to remove any cysts growing in me, my egg count will drop and that will eventually lead to difficulty to conceive. The thought of having to live with this disease for the rest of my life also made me feeling miserable.

For the past 5 years or so I struggled emotionally. My emotions were simply unmanageable. I am not diagnosed with depression but I was showing symptoms. I was simply miserable & lost. I could not accept the reality. I also struggled physically & it affected my livelihood.

I tried so many things to manage the pain, the nausea & vomitting. It was nightmare. I gave up everytime something does not go my way. I gave up everytime the pain got worse. The countless clinics & hospital visits irritated me. Like, when will this ever be over? Broken spirit,broken hope,unstable emotions and impatience were and somehow still lives within me.

The countless random Gynae & GP that I have visited could not give me definite answers or proper treatment or guidelines as to how I could manage the pain,the side effects as well as how to manage my emotional & mental health. I changed from one hospital to another.

With the new hospital,initially I was still seeing random Gynae and to me it was somehow waste of time. They kept telling me to keep taking painkillers and pills (similar to birth control pill) to manage my pain. Like, I am in pain now. I needed something immediate not for long term.

Finally, after so many years, I finally somehow see hope when the current Hospital I visit for check-up/follow-up has opened a Endometriosis Clinic. ALHAMDULILLAH. I can finally get consultation and proper treatment from an Endometriosis Specialist and not having to meet random Gynae everytime I go for check-up. A little side story on this, earlier this year my Uncle actually asked me how am I doing. He then suggested for me to find one Gynae and stick to he/she so I can have a more organised,detailed treatment plan. I was touched by how he genuinely is concerned about my health. Talking to him that day made me feel cared for and that I really miss my Dad. Oh yeah, a couple of months after I had my surgery, my Dad passed away. THAT was my second breakdown.

I completely lost everything the day my Dad passed away. EVERYTHING. Hope,spirits,love. I lost it all. The only one person whom truly cares & support me with everything in life left me when I was battling the disease. I lost my father, protector,my bestfriend. He whom accompanied me to check-ups ( I did the same for him), he whom send me to work, he whom brought Pisang Goreng home for me. I lost him. He is no longer with me now but I pray that we, the whole family will be reunited again in the highest of Jannah (Heaven). Aamiin.

Back to the Endometriosis Clinic story; I finally met and was consulted my an Endo Specialist. Her name is Dr Lim. She explained to me in detailed about my current state and she shared with me her treatment plans she has in mind. She given me medication that could help to surpress the Cyts growth also to manage the pain. Apparently I had taken the medication before after I had my surgery. She advised me to take this medication for 4 months till the next follow-up with her. In the mean-time, she has ordered me to go for a MRI Scan so she could have clearer view on what's happening in my body especially my uterus area.

Moving forward, I strive to be more positive thinking, more patient,more calm and poise. Well, I strive. I strive to make things happen. All those pin saving on Pinterest in regards to Endometriosis (pain management,diet etc), I am determined to follow them through. One step at a time that is.

🤲 Bismillah.💪 💛