Uh… life in a nutshell?
🫐 I celebrated my birthday once I got back into town. But before that, on the day I landed back from Memphis, tired and feeling like shit, I’m greeted with a birthday and roses. All I could do is cry. For many reasons. Crying because it’s hard to celebrate, given everything, and crying because.. idk. I’m loved?
🍇 We went to Vanderpump! A cocktail bar I’ve been wanting to try for years! But if you’re a local, you just never go to the strip! Unless there’s a reason. This felt as good of a reason as any. We went to the one at Caesars and the one in Paris as well. You can tell you’re mostly paying for the looks of the drinks and the ambience of the place. But I enjoyed it all the same. We also ate at an oyster bar that had THE best tuna poke I’ve ever had in my life. Absolute heaven. That alone was worth the trip down to the strip!
🍐 It’s been so long since I’ve gone to my coffee place, too long! Just could never find the time cause… sad LOL despite that place being happiness in a cup! Got there first thing in the morning and saw the girl who always rings me up! We got to talk, more than ever before this time around, and it was so nice. She got a new dog (a pug, that she named after the one in men in black) lol and I showed her my cool new tattoo 😎 it was nice to see her again.
🍉 I GOT TICKETS TO SEE BTS!!! So fuckin stressful!! Cause I tried to get some the day before and ALL the good seats were gone! 😐 if I gotta stare at a screen the entire time I refuse to go I wanna see them IN THE FLESH I gotta be decently close?? So I skipped out. My last day to see them in good ole Vegas was the next day when they dropped more tickets and MANNN I was sweating! I got em tho!! So anxiety inducing cause I was scared I wouldn’t! I kept begging the universe saying please!! Please let me have this one thing lol!!
🍋🟩 Celebrated my birthday a second time! With Keii! We went to karaoke and luckily for us, it was on a day where they had happy hour all day! Which meant we could sing for much longer and for a much better price! We ordered our usuals when we got in, but we learned the hard way that they changed the recipe for the pizza that we love! Those bastards! They took away the god damn veggies on it!! Where is my 🫑!?! Keii and I always see this one guy working there so we were like “where is he. He would make it right” to be funny LOLLL but then we did end up seeing him towards the end of the night! It was nice to spend time together. Sing. Hold hands. Talk. Cry. The gift I received was extremely thoughtful, but I want to make that its own little post lol! Cause I wanna set him up! I am immensely grateful. Once again, I am reminded that I am loved in this world.
🫕 What can I say? I’m going through the motions. On and off crying. Constant sadness and anxiety about… everything. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt so unsure about what it is that I am doing with my life. What is my direction? Will it get better? I mean. I know it will. It’s been bad before, and it’s been good before. I’m just ready for it to be good NOW. I am ready to look back on this moment and have it feel so so far away. To think of this time in my life and to not even believe it’s a thing that happened, because I am just so far removed. Im ready for it. I’m waiting on it! But the only thing that will get me there is the passage of time. That’s all.
I’ve been too many places and doing way too many things at once. I am hoping that February will give me the time I need to figure at least some things out.
