#beesentry

They have this saying, "Be the adult you needed when you were a child," and I kept replaying that over and over. Thinking about the little girl who would spend her days daydreaming of who I would become. Maybe even who I am today. I remember her having so much hopes and dreams; living in an apartment in the city, having a fun and healthy lifestyle that was filled with love, laughter, sometimes some sadness, sometimes with anger. But it would be a life that I could call my own. The main thing she thought of was I became the woman I needed when I was a little girl. Someone who was filled with love, kindness, strength, and wisdom despite of the world's cruelty. Someone who would choose herself. Someone who would put on a brave face in front of a crowd regardless of her scars, and would heal them behind closed doors. Just.. someone she could look up to.

I find myself looking back to that little girl. More importantly on days that seem so slow, on days that I wish that would end quicker or entirely. I think about her innocent and sweet heart; her sparkling, big eyes filled with hopes and dreams for me.. and it reminds me of my purpose. That I am not just doing this for me now, I am doing this for her as well. I would think that how could I give up.. on her? How could I break her little heart? The little one that believed in me..

She gives me strength. And I will owe it all to her. I do owe it to her. I could not, for the life in me, have the heart to let her down. And someday, I will make her proud. Fulfilled even.