#beaver war

Colt..... Beavers??

*sighs very heavily*

Okay, I’m gonna answer this one first and get it out of the way, and then I’ll get to your other one later.

So I have this friend, right? She’s mutually friends with me and Stunts (my Stunts Coordinator) and like we talk and flirt and I make her blush like crazy, loads of fun. That kind of stuff, right? But like out of the blue one day she brings this beaver - an actual, chew wood down to a toothpick beaver - and says his name is Seaver Beaver and is like a fan of mine which I don’t know how Leave It To Beaver here can be a fan but she says so and she caught it and even talks to it! Like chitter chatter, Perry the platypus noises that I’ve never heard a human being make in my life before and she got mad because I’m not taking her or this beaver seriously and there’s a video involved of her catching it and she’s photoshopped this beaver in pictures with me and it’s this whole thing and I don’t even remember what was the straw that broke the camel’s back but Birchie says it’s an all out war now so I called it the beaver war because it’s over this beaver and now I have a beaver but I just borrowed her because there’s no way I can take care of a lady beaver like how do you even do that but Birchie doesn’t like Birchie Beaver which was really mean and now cowboy hats are made out of beaver fur?? And I think my Stunt Coordinator is a double agent somehow in all of this but I don’t know I think she’s just enjoying all of this a little too much honestly and I’m pretty sure before it’s all said and done I’m going to see beavers in my sleep because they’re everywhere now?!

Like how do you even fight a beaver war?!

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to unleash all of that on you, but this was one of those things that required a longer answer.

I’m taking the time to learn more about where I live outside of the local flours and fauna. I’m starting with

The Eries . 🍒

Their were a lot of Confederacies in the Northeast US

Chautauqua County, was once home to a people called the Erie who were nearly wiped out by the Haudenosaunee in the Beaver war. (Kind of had to drag myself out of a rabbit hole writing this)

They’re the people that Lake Erie, Erie County, and Erie, Pennsylvania are named after.

🐱The Erie were also called the Eriez, Nation du Chat, (Nation of the Cat) Yenresh, Eriechronen, and Riquérohon among other names. A lot of their various names are said to reference long tail or cat. However it more likely means people of the Cherry. 🍒 🐈‍⬛🦝. The Black Cherry (I’ll probably profile it soon) is native to the area and it was most definitely used by the people living in Chautauqua county.

They were Iroquoian* like most of the people living in the Northeast US. The Erie appear to have lived in a similar way to their neighbors. They lived in long houses arranged in palisaded villages because like everyone else they often got into skirmishes with neighbors. They farmed using the 3 sisters method🌽🫛🎃 The Erie are said to have used poison arrows and some wore puma or raccoon tails, hence their French name. They traded with the Sesquehannok and others. The Haudenosaunee say they came from the St. Laurence river valley and took over from a mound building society.

This information was gleaned from second hand accounts told by other indigenous peoples, especially the Huron, to Jesuit priests and trappers. Despite not really interacting with Europeans as far as we know, The Eries demise was indirectly caused by them. This was through a combination of European disease (entire communities were wiped out)and the and the demand for beaver pelts which lead to the Beaver Wars.

🦫The disagreements escalated when the Erie overhunted the beavers they used to trade for European goods. They would give the pelts to other tribes who would pay them with European stuff, except guns, no one wanted them to have guns. Because of this they encroached on other peoples territory more than usual. During this time The Haudenosaunee League were also fighting with the Huron ( and pretty much everyone else) to gain a monopoly on beaver. (The Beaver war)The Huron were loosing, badly. The Erie took in some of the Huron refugees and refused to turn them over to the Haudenosaunee,specifically the Seneca, Cayuga, Onondaga. The Haudenosaunee were made up of 5 other tribes at the time, now it’s 6 and they’re a confederacy now. Erie also killed a Seneca sachem, Annencraos, during a raid into Seneca territory.

The Erie weren’t immediately attacked though. The Haudenosaunee and Erie had a peace conference to avoid a war. For some reason, possibly after losing multiple sporting events, the Erie leader started killing the delegates. They then went on to launch an assault on the Seneca. This is despite their biggest allies, the Sesquehannok, being unable to help them because they were actively being attacked by the Mohawk Oneida branch of the Haudenosaunee. This isolated the Erie. The Haudenosaunee also had guns and knew how to use them.

This started a war between the Haudenosaunee League and the Erie. The Erie held their own for the first year but In the end they were defeated, dispersed and absorbed. Some Eries went to Ohio and joined the Seneca and Cayuga there,( they ended up in Oklahoma) others may have went to Virginia and became the Rochahecrian, and South Carolina where they became the Westro.

Sources

Avon history OH

Eries

*Iroquoian refers to the ethnolingustic group the Eries, Huron Wyandot , Haudenosaunee Confederacy, Petun,Sesquehannok, and Cherokee among others belong to.

Probably going to write about the beavers wars and the Seneca later. May also post about the ill fated peace conference/sporting event too.

Stunts won't tell me anything. And you are devious. Yes, you, and your stupidly handsome face. I'll admit it. You're still pretty even if you're a bit of a little shit.

*squints*

It's time to rally the troops.

I'll see you on the Malibu Beach, Colt.

Malibu Beach? Is that where we’re going to duke this out?

//It’s uhh. It’s a war cry basically.

Well that’s a new one for me. Okay, Birchie! I’ll see you on the Malibu Beach!

Hm. Good enough for now. SB still wants to meet you, you know. The whole Beaver War's got him on edge, though.

We can be cool. So cool.

And if you want my opinion? I think Birchie Beaver would look more well suited in blue or green. Natural colors that remind her of her home😉 At least, SB said that's what he thinks she'd look nice in. Right, bud?

chhh chhhh hchhhhh tik tik... tiktik ak akk. CHHppp?? CHPP??? brrr. brrrr. trirriiiiittririiiirii akakakakakakakak.

Yeah. He thinks she'd look really pretty in something blue or green. Maybe teal? IF you care about what SB thinks🤨

*giggles uncontrollably over beaver speak*

I mean uhhh *giggles* what? Oh yeah! *giggles* Natural colors. Right. Okay well uh *giggles* I have a green hat for her.

What about this?

I have a fun fact to share with you. For the Beaver War.

Did you know felt cowboy hats are made out of beaver hair? And the more beaver hair is in the hat, the more waterproof it is? And expensive, actually...

So yeah. Thought you may like that since I'm pretty sure you've got some hats in your collection. And if you want some ammo on me, I don't have any that are 100% beaver hair 😔

I'm not a real beaver fan, I guess. SB will be disappointed in me.

Yeah, I hear that’s what some cowboy hats are made of which is insane. I can’t believe it honestly. Like what are the odds? I never would’ve guessed.

Woahwoahwoahwaitwaitwait hold up, you’re not supposed to try to make me feel sorry for you in a war! That’s not how that works. And what are you even talking about, you speak fricking beaver, Birchie. If that’s not being a true beaver fan, I don’t know what is.

Colt turns his head her direction in surprise since he didn’t see her coming, but he smiles when he realizes who it is. “Hey, Stunts,” he gestures to the rest of the crew with his thumb as he grabs a towel to wipe some sweat from his forehead. “Like what you’re seeing? I think it’s gonna look awesome for the final rundown!”

“Oh no doubt! Absolutely it will.”

Her grin only grows, and Colt notes the mischief in it. “You’re extra…chipper today,” he notes. “What are you up to?”

Stunts doesn’t answer but instead asks, “Can I have a hug?”

Colt raises an eyebrow but can’t say no to that. “I’m always up for a hug from you.” He pulls her into his arms, and she hugs him back. “You give good hugs.”

“Thank you, Colt, you do too. Like a big teddy bear.”

He chuckles at that before offering his own thanks. Then he asks, “Seriously though, Stunts, you look like you’re up to something. Should I be worried?”

“I have a fun fact to share with you,” Stunts replies.

“Oh yeah?” He nods. That doesn’t sound too bad. Not sure what mischief could come from that. “Cool. What is it?”

“You know those cowboy hats you kept from movies you’ve been in?”

Colt pauses, wondering where this could possibly be going. “Yeah?”

Stunts giggles, unable to keep this bottled up much longer. “Guess what they’re made out of.”

He’s clueless. “What?”

Her giggles only grow when she answers, “Beaver fur.”

Colt stares down at her incredulously, jaw dropping over this information. “No way.”

“Way.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Uh huh! And guess who I learned it from.”

Colt groans and drops his arms. “Ohhhhhh my gosh, no way, are you for real?”

She laughs and nods as Colt scratches his head and starts pacing. “I swear!”

He pauses to ask, “Is this just part of the war or is this for real?”

“Google it! I’m not in your war, buddy, I’m just sharing a very valid fact.”

Colt puts his hands on his hips and thinks. “I literally don’t know what to do with this information. Like…seriously? Beaver?”

Stunts nods. “Beaver.”

Colt nods slowly, clearly stunned. “What are the odds? Like seriously! What are the odds. Beaver. Of all things. Beaver.” He chuckles a bit and adds, “Okay so God really does have a sense of humor, huh?”

Stunts nods and laughs. “Seems to be the case.”

“Yup.” After a moment, he eyes Stunts and asks, “Are you supposed to report back to her about this?”

She shrugs. “I mean she might ask me. She didn’t ask me to tell you if that’s what you’re really asking.”