(side eyes) I'm new around here so I'm lost... but I have to ask. what is going on with beavers? I feel like I've walked into a battle so I hope I'm not adding fuel... 😹
Colt..... Beavers??
*sighs very heavily*
Okay, I’m gonna answer this one first and get it out of the way, and then I’ll get to your other one later.
So I have this friend, right? She’s mutually friends with me and Stunts (my Stunts Coordinator) and like we talk and flirt and I make her blush like crazy, loads of fun. That kind of stuff, right? But like out of the blue one day she brings this beaver - an actual, chew wood down to a toothpick beaver - and says his name is Seaver Beaver and is like a fan of mine which I don’t know how Leave It To Beaver here can be a fan but she says so and she caught it and even talks to it! Like chitter chatter, Perry the platypus noises that I’ve never heard a human being make in my life before and she got mad because I’m not taking her or this beaver seriously and there’s a video involved of her catching it and she’s photoshopped this beaver in pictures with me and it’s this whole thing and I don’t even remember what was the straw that broke the camel’s back but Birchie says it’s an all out war now so I called it the beaver war because it’s over this beaver and now I have a beaver but I just borrowed her because there’s no way I can take care of a lady beaver like how do you even do that but Birchie doesn’t like Birchie Beaver which was really mean and now cowboy hats are made out of beaver fur?? And I think my Stunt Coordinator is a double agent somehow in all of this but I don’t know I think she’s just enjoying all of this a little too much honestly and I’m pretty sure before it’s all said and done I’m going to see beavers in my sleep because they’re everywhere now?!
Like how do you even fight a beaver war?!
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to unleash all of that on you, but this was one of those things that required a longer answer.
So no. My name is Colt Seavers. Not Beavers, I am not the beaver in this dumb war.
