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So this painting was bobbing around my dash last week, and I was in a major CR girls mood. I might try to digitize as lineart and add colour at some point, but it was really nice to practice plain ole pencil-and-paper for now.Â
I'll be honest, I dont really care if beaujester becomes a thing (I mean I do, it's the ship I care about the most after beauyasha) because at the very least it wasnt something that was imagined by the fandom. Whether or not jester returns beaus feelings, whether beau ever gets the courage to tell jester how she feels, whether things get tricky if the other women beau cares about show up again (keg, tasha, reani, tori) or jester has other potential suitors, if they break up after deciding they worked better as friends, no matter what happens it is real. Beau has feelings for jester that's canon, nothing can change that.
No one can say it's all in our heads, that we are looking too deep into their interactions, it's real even if only onesided for now
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Beau was really in over her head this time, but for once it wasnât with the law.
Sheâs had crushes before, fleeting things that vanished quickly and mostly just ended in sex without developing into something deeper. Now, of course, because the universe just loved to make everything as difficult as possible for Beau, she had not only one crush.
No. No, one crush would be too easy.
At this point in her life she had two fucking crushes. At the same time.
Beau was barely equipped to handle one damn crush. Finding Yasha attractive and wanting to bone her had been nothing new to Beau, she found women hot all the time.
But she hadnât been prepared to develop actual feelings for Yasha.
And, because that wasnât enough, Jester happened.
Jester with her bright smiles and her chubby cheeks and her adorable giggles and her unending repertoire of dick jokes.
Ugh.
Beau really was in over her head.
Her heart was beating at a disturbingly high rate almost all the time, because either Jester or Yasha did something that was just plain hot or adorable or amazing and all that was left for Beau to do was to hold on for dear life as her brain provided her with images of holding both of their hands, kissing them, touching them.
Fuck.
How did that even work? Even if she managed to do something about one of her crushes, what about the other one? Would that be like cheating? How the fuck was she supposed to decide? Jester and Yasha were awesome in such different ways, there was no way Beau would be able to decide who was better.
She considered asking one of the others about this, but. Well.
Caduceus was probably just confused about the general idea of crushes. Caleb seemed allergic to emotions most of the time and Beau didnât want to impose. Fjord had zero idea how to deal with women, Beau had seen him being hit on by women and the way he had reacted indicated that he might just faint if Beau told him that she wanted to be sandwiched between Yasha and Jester andâ
Ugh.
Nott, who always tried to set Jester and Fjord up with each other, would probably just tell her that Jester was out of the question. And that left. Well.
The worst choice of them all, really.
âOi, Molly.â
âWhat can I do for you, Your Unpleasantness?â
âUgh, this was a terrible idea. Iâm leavingâ, Beau said and turned on her heel, but Molly grabbed her wrist and grinned up at her, his red eyes gleaming with mirth.
âAre you going to ask me what to do about your adorable little crushes?â, Molly wanted to know.
Beau sputtered. Briefly she considered to simply punch Molly in the face, but she also desperately wanted to talk to someone. Usually, Jester would be her first choice, but Jester was out of the question.
âFuck off, Mollyâ, Beau grunted and flopped down on the chair beside him. She pushed a bottle of cheap wine into his lap, crossed her arms and stared at him, as if that might swipe the wide grin off his ridiculously purple face.
She never liked purple. Now she knew why.
âSo, shootâ, Molly said, opened the bottle and took a few swigs before handing it to Beau. She drank almost half the bottle by herself before she started speaking.
âHow do I make it go away?â, she asked. That was not really what she wanted to talk about, but it was easier than to admit that she was feeling overwhelmed by her feelings and that she had no idea if it was even okay to like two people at once.
âWhy do you want it to go away?â, Molly asked and furrowed his brows before wringing the bottle out of Beauâs hand, probably because he was afraid she might drink the rest without him.
âBecause itâsâfuck. It just. What the fuck Molly? Why does that even happen to me?â
Molly cocked an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair.
âI guess because Yasha and Jester are entirely wonderful people and youâre just very gayâ, Molly said. Beau kicked his shin and he laughed right in her face before emptying the bottle and ordering a new one.
âI knew that already! I meanâI justâtwo at the same time just seems fucking excessive!â
Beau watched Molly like a hawk to see any indication of judgement or disgust. But there was none. Instead, Molly just shrugged and it seemed entirely genuine.
âYou can have more than one friend, right? Why shouldnât you be able to have more than one person youâre in love with? I guess itâs not for everyone, but honestly, screw everyone. Who even cares?â
Beau stared at him. She usually didnât care much about what other people thought of her, but she had started to care more since they all met. Thatâs why she asked Fjord for pointers, why she tried to be a better person. But, Beau supposed, all in all Molly was right.
It was irrelevant what other people thought about it. Mostly because other people sucked ninety percent of the time.
âHave you everââ, she started, then closed her mouth and took a few more swigs from their second bottle of cheap ass red wine.
Molly grinned.
âWell, let me put it this way, yeah? If both Caleb and Fjord were to invite me to bed tonight, I wouldnât say noâ, he said and took the bottle Beau held out to him. Beau grunted at the thought of Molly, Fjord and Caleb getting it on and she quickly pushed the thought aside.
How would that work anyway? With Fjord being a blushy virgin and Caleb being unable to voice what he wanted...
Beau decided not to dwell on it.
Her eyes found Yasha and Jester close to the bar, where Jester was currently in the process of trying to teach Yasha some basic dance steps. Beau propped her chin up on her hand and watched them, Yasha all clumsy and a bit flustered, Jester all enthusiastic happiness.
Beau felt her chest tighten.
It felt as if a million butterflies just erupted somewhere in her stomach.
Dammit, feelings were fucking embarrassing.
âTheyâre adorableâ, Molly noted and for once there wasnât a hint of teasing in his voice. Beau sighed heavily and nodded, then took the bottle of wine again.
âYou should go for it.â
âWhy?â
âOh, you know. Most people only live once. And look at them! Yasha doesnât look at just anyone like that, dear. You should go ask for some dance lessons.â
Beau stared at Molly. She would never admit it, but she was glad they got him back. Maybe she told him once, right after they finally managed to resurrect him, maybe she had hugged him really damn close and refused to let go of him.
If asked, she would deny it ever happened.
âWhat if they--what if they like each other but... butââ
A purple, clawed hand stopped her words and she glanced at Molly who had put his hand on her mouth.
âNah ah. Donât go all mushy and human on me, unpleasant one. What if I start to like you? Besidesâand you didnât hear that from meâmy sources suggest that thereâs no âbutâ in that equation.â
Beau swallowed heavily, took a deep breath and pried Mollyâs hand off her face.
âKeep the rest of the bottleâ, she croaked before walking over to where Yasha and Jester were dancing.
âOh, Beau!â, Jester exclaimed and beamed at her as soon as she got close enough. âIâm teaching Yasha how to dance!â
âYeah, I can see thatâ, Beau rasped. Her voice sounded like sandpaper.
âJester is a really good teacherâ, Yasha said softly. Her cheeks were a little flushed and there was the tiniest smile on her face. Beau thought she might die from heart failure.
âDo you wanna join us? Itâs easy! I can show you!â
Beau looked down at Jesterâs hand and nodded. Her heart felt as if it might break her ribcage any moment now.
She took Jesterâs hand and before she knew it, she was pulled forward, between Yasha and Jester.
âPut your arms on my hips. Yasha, you should totally hold onto Beauâs waist!â
This is it, Beau thought, this is the way I die.
She glanced over at Molly who still had the bottle of wine in hand and when he caught her gaze he winked and toasted Beau with the almost empty bottle.
As she swayed clumsily between Yasha and Jester, Beau thought that purple maybe wasnât such a bad color after all.
