#bdp1

i don’t know rlly how to articulate this but,, breaking dawn feels like it is twilight au fanfiction written by e.l. james. like, it reads like a teenager saw eclipse in theaters (but hadn’t read the books), got blue balls, and wrote horny fanfiction and that teenager was e.l. james. like the whole teenage marriage and (~mystical hyperspeed~) pregnancy thing and oh no bella died edward is distraught oh wait he saved her last minute oh wait let’s sprinkle in a love triangle between bella and her daughter oh and bella’s daughter is perfect and so special that she must be murdered but in the end everything is perfect and oh i’ll switch the pov halfway through as a character exercise— “a/n: it was really fun getting into this wolfpack headspace, hope you guys enjoyed and be sure to leave a kudos :)”-type energy. it reads like something i’d find in a depraved sleep-deprived state at 4:07 a.m. on ao3 but ultimately skip because it strayed too far from canon and it was tagged as a/b/o and i don’t have a breeding kink. breaking dawn is the same ice cream flavor as the last season of the office. that’s the best way i can explain it

you know the add-on scene at the end of breaking dawn part one where aro gets mad at bianca for leaving the ‘s’ out of carlisle’s name and then the other masters are like “ok at least our feud with that coven is over now” and aro’s like “over??? you dumb bitches I thought you understood. they have something I want” well bc he flipped over carlisle’s name being misspelled it makes it sound like he wants carlisle and that is why this is the single greatest scene in all 5 movies and no I will not be accepting criticism at this time

The twilight saga had the best movie soundtracks dont @ me