#chuckesmee

as you can see from my first chart, usage of the name “Renesmee” increased by about 9%—there were 12 more baby girls named Renesmee than in 2019.

but usage of Renesmee’s even worse alternate spellings increased by a disgusting 14%, or 13 babies (look, babies are the unit of measurement here. get over it.) that means 13 more infants than in 2019 were labeled with some vile, arcane arrangement of the phoenician alphabet whose letters, when sounded out, make the approximate sound “ruh-nez-may” (for a total of 104 babies saddled with one of these foul maledictions.)

but which was the most popular malediction? the fastest rising? to answer that, we will once again need to look at the chart that looks like jackson pollock vomited rainbow spaghetti:

fun fact: my dad saw me making this chart and started mansplaining data visualization to me (luckily without at any point asking me what this chart was charting)

first, the good news: we’ve once again lost Renezmee. she’s dropped off the map, which means 4 or fewer babies were given that name in 2020.

now, the bad news: you may perhaps have noticed the astronomical rise of that dark blue line representing “Renesmae.” this is because usage of “Renesmae” absolutely skyrocketed last year, increasing by 104%. think about that for a second. 104%. 104%. again, that’s

✨one-hundred-and-four (104) fucking percent ✨

or 30 babies, for those of you who prefer to hear your statistics in babies. that’s right: usage of “Renesmae” more than doubled in 2020, from 29 to 59 infants.

in other words, my giant shark meme was eerily prophetic and more fucking correct than I knew and oh my god I want to die just eat me already and put me out of my misery please giant shark

and honestly? yeah, this checks out. with the way things are going these days, we shouldn’t be surprised that terrible parents everywhere are ditching Renesmee in favor of Renesmae. and I do mean everywhere.

extra-cursed bonus round: england and wales

in 2020, the name Renesmee dropped by exactly one place and one baby in england and wales—falling from #806 with 46 babies to #807 with 45 babies. sounds good, right? except that fucking Renesmae yeeted itself into the top 1000 and right goddamn past Renesmee with 46 babies, tie-ing for #792nd most popular girls’ name.

it’s a reflection of These Unprecedented Times that Renesmae is rising faster than sea level.

as for what’s going to happen in the 2021 data, who the fuck knows? I am now afraid to make any predictions lest they fucking come true

so instead, I will leave you with this thought: 2021 was the year of yassification. and what is Renesmae (and Renesmay, and Renezme, and all their revolting gorgon sisters) but the yassification of Renesmee?

further reading:

full renesmee name profile, 2009-2017

2018 twilight names update

2019 renesmee england & wales update

2019 renesmee US update