#bc feels

she’s leaning against a pillar looking up to the sky while there’s music playing in the room behind her. it’s a warm night, fortunately, and she’s glad she doesn’t have to wear a scarf around her shoulders to keep herself warm; it would have been a shame to hide the top of her beautiful dress. the delicate lace, the light chiffon, the warm cream color; it’s certainly not the usual charlie roan look but it’s not exactly a usual charlie roan moment either. today’s a special day and she’s taking full advantage of it.

Kara almost being taken, almost being hurt, had been bad enough. Even on a good day Alex usually lost her mind whenever Kara put herself in danger and Maggie usually turned into a pacing mess (she rarely admitted just how scared she was, but it became evident when she curled up in Kara’s arms at night after being so scared throughout the day and Alex couldn’t blame her, she knew this feeling all too well and always let Maggie be close to Kara when she needed it the most), but things got a lot worse when they found out that Kara was pregnant right before Cadmus got their hands on her and they barely managed to get her out before they could proceed with whatever evil plan they had come up with.

It had been more or less of a surprise, really. They had talked about kids, had made plans, but they surely hadn’t been prepared to take this step so soon. It had been a careless night, Kara had needed Alex and Alex knew that Kara had run out of the birth control she had created for her, but she hadn’t been able to say no, not when Kara was so upset, was so desperate for closeness and intimacy and Maggie was usually the last person to deny them this time together, understanding how much comfort they found in each other when one of them was this upset or sad.

So yeah, it wasn’t a real surprise, Maggie had been silent when Kara had told her about the pregnancy, she had already guessed that this would happen at some point, but when suddenly Cadmus came into play, when they took Kara, that’s when she grew just as worried, despite knowing that the DEO would probably get her back in no time at all.

When they’re all back home again, safe and sound, Alex is upset, upset that Kara just couldn’t stay behind, that Kara’s stupid need to protect them drove her into the field, into harms way, and that it almost hurt her and their baby in the process.

So, when she blurts out an angry “I don’t know why we thought we could add kids to this shit show”, it’s more to relieve some of those pent up emotions, the fear, the stress, the frustration, and she almost immediately regrets it when she sees Kara’s reaction to those words.

While Maggie is weary, quiet, tired, Kara suddenly looks guilty and pitifully small, her hands resting on her barely there bump, and Alex’s heart breaks a little at the sight, because she knows it’s her fault that Kara is now looking so very small and helpless.

Kara knows Alex is right, their lives were always at risk, and suddenly she feels selfish, for wanting this, for thoughtlessly adding a baby to the mess that were their lives, and she feels helpless, because for all the reasons that speak against having a child, she has already grown to love this life growing inside of her so much, so much that it hurt to think about not having this, about not bringing this life into their family, and it hits her then, that she risked this, that she had been so careless and stupid and she can’t help the hot, desperate tears from rolling down her cheeks, because she knows Alex is right, but she also knows that she wouldn’t ever regret this life that was growing inside of her now.

“I’ve had far worse, I assure you.” He had a good amount of experience with trying to recover stolen memories at this point - unpleasant, but better than not knowing. And he’d thought it was Talia who’d done a worse assault to him but this? A twin that had been taken from him? He wanted that back.