#bathroom spiders

The spiders in the bathroom. They’re watching you. They’re concerned about your digestive health

Lmao xD That gun is the man >w<

I’m taking a shower when all of a sudden I spy a huge spider on my bathroom ceiling. It wasn’t as if the body itself was huge, just it had long legs. Obviously not a Daddy Longlegs (those aren’t actually spiders) but it was freaky and kind of creepy becuase why is it there? And I see it dangling on some kind of web line and I look at it saying, out loud, “Please don’t come any closer Mr. Spider. Or Ms. Or whatever, I don’t really know your sex or gender. Just, please stay up there. Don’t come any closer. I have a detachable showerhead and I’m not afraid to use it.” I say this. Out loud. And then the spider moves. Not closer, thank God. But across the ceiling on the web line. I don’t take my eyes off of them, watching as they occasionally have a leg slip and need to catch themselves. Occasionally speaking to it “Stay up there. Please stay up there. I’m watching you.” Finally I can’t take it anymore and I turn the shower off, dry off, and get out of the shower. Never taking my eyes off of the spider. “This is creepy, why are you even in here while I’m showering?” I get no answer of course. And I still don’t know what the spider’s gender is.

I was in the bathroom and I noticed a wolf spider climbing up the wall. I yelled to get the attention of my mom who immediately urged me to let her in. I was taking my time "I'm not in too much of a hurry, wolf spiders aren't known for jumping." And AS SOON AS I SAID THAT IT JUMPED AT ME AND I STILL CAN'T FIND IT.

I should stop before this gets out of hand.