#batbitequeen

i thought about it but shes obviously a butch with a sense of makeup know how and that just aint me bitch

regarding the person who im just another ex to now. the person who pretends i never existed in her life. the biggest turning point in our relationship was one new years when she told me she wanted to be polyamorous. we were drunk. i threw up and started crying. at this point, i had NO IDEA she had already tried to kiss one of our friends when they were high together. but of course, there was no compromise or ultimatum or anything. it was we had to have an open relationship and be polyam or we had to break up. so i stayed and fucking forced myself to be polyam. we set up rules and stuff. and of course she broke them and cheated on me twice because we got into a fight and she thought i didnt want to be with her anymore. second biggest mistake that we are both guilty of: we stayed together after that. we were monogamous after that. our relationship got progressively worse and worse, with me being insanely possessive, jealous, and insecure to the point where i would lash out and be passive aggressive. prying into her friendships, etc. that was me being abusive. and it fucks with me seeing that she’s regarded as perfect and amazing by her 27 girlfriends and the 300 people she’s fucked now and already has two more exes and the two and a half years we spent together every day has faded into oblivion. much less the five years we spent being best friends. going to school together, all that shit.

i swear our fights stemmed because we couldn’t ever meet in the middle or compromise. she had to get her way 100% or i wasn’t listening to her and neglecting her needs or wants. and everything i wanted and felt was unfair. the fact that i felt ANYTHING meant that i wasn’t listening to her and i was being a shitty person.

but she forced herself on me sexually a lot. so much to the point i often felt like sex was all i was wanted for and good for. its like love to her ONLY meant sex. she was hypersexual, though, and i would often be guilted because i didnt want to do it and in the beginning of the relationship we’d have sex every day. i’d often say no and i didn’t want to but end up having to do it anyway and this often led to me feeling gross and shitty, and again like she didnt actually love me, just loved fucking me. not to mention she never gave me gifts or seemed to consider me much at all. like i understand not having money, but she had the means to MAKE things for me for anniversary’s and holidays. instead i’d go overboard in getting her shit.

i gave her so much financially. my parents hate me for it. i dont blame them. i spent so much fucking money on her all the fucking time AND she lived here with me FOR FREE even AFTER she broke up with me. dumped ANOTHER person on me to live here with me for free, too, and she only just moved out so i’m finally living alone like i was supposed to. but she never made up for any of this. rarely ever said thank you or showed gratitude. i always feel like she fucking used me even though she said she loved me and i thought i had saved her from her parents.

even still, we’d still have pda and stuff that i feel like i took for granted.

but we were toxic for each other, point blank. i was made out to be the horrible abusive one though by a lot of people. i couldn’t put into words what she was managing to do to me that kind of… made the shitty things i did worse. but she wasn’t perfect. i know no one is, but she’s a fucked up person and my life is better without her. i’ve stopped trying to salvage a friendship. she wants to act like i dont exist, like i never existed, and refuses to talk to me at all and ignores me when i try to talk to her about anything. so fuck her. fuck her, fuck all the fucked up people shes dating now. i still hope she’s happier now, but they all deserve each other.

tl;dr my ex girlfriend forced herself on me sexually a fuck ton and im only just now realizing that’s fucked up

i agree but i cant relate

i am full of blood

spiro is a minty and refreshing treat that shrinks my nuts!