#bassinet gate

MC: “So… are you saying you want kids?”

Faust: “No. I’m saying I want data.”

Also Faust: Staring intensely like he’s already imagining the bassinet color palette.

✨ Cue Napoleon from the background: ✨

Napoleon (off-screen): “Hello? Half-human, half-vampire… military genius? Tall? Brooding? Literally canon??” waves hand dramatically “Do I not qualify as a crystallization of love?”

Faust: doesn’t even blink “You weren’t peer-reviewed.”

Napoleon: “Bro I’m the poster boy.”