#faust posting

🐾 Faust = cat energy: swats Vlad’s hand, knocks things over out of spite.

🐾 Charles = dog energy: “PAT ME TOO LORD VLAD!!!” tail wagging.

Faust, 1924/25 by Harry Clarke (1889-1931).

“A certain room was filled with the sound of heavy breathing.”

Okay??? 🤨

“Haah, haah... You’re pretty tough, Faust.”

EXCUSE ME???

“Hnh... Not bad yourself, for an old geezer.”

SIR???

“The two men panted and strained, locked in an age-old battle...”

And the age-old battle was a push-up contest.

Thinking about how Faust wants children with MC, and how his first true enemy as a parent would not be God, mortality, or despair. It would be yogurt in the wrong cup.

The child, sobbing because the yogurt is in the blue cup instead of the red cup.

Faust: “The contents are identical.”

Child: louder sobbing.

Faust: “Color does not alter nutritional composition.”

Child: somehow even louder.

Faust, writing notes with increasing pressure: “Subject rejects empirical reality in favor of symbolic vessel preference.”

MC: “Johann, just put it in the red cup.”

Faust: “That would reward irrationality.”

Child: screams like a tiny banshee.

Faust, after three seconds of silence, transferring yogurt with surgical precision: “This is not surrender. This is controlled environmental adjustment.”

Later, his child hands him a half-eaten cracker and says, “It’s broken. Fix it.”

Faust: “It cannot be restored.”

Child: “Fix it.”

Vlad: “…You’re so wet.”

Shakespeare (from the shadows): bro for 5 more gold coins I could make that sound like a sonnet

(clears throat)

💐 Veils, Florals & Questionable Authority

Comte: “I appreciate that the styling suggests wealth, beauty, and mild emotional danger.” (Has never felt more accurately represented by a floral arrangement.) “This is less bridal wear and more aristocratic warning label.” (Thriving.)

Sebastian: “I will ensure everything proceeds with dignity.” (Actively maintaining dignity for five men who have misplaced theirs in the floral department.)

Vlad: “This is a symbol of authority.” (It is lace.) “It signifies dominion.” (It signifies nothing. He has simply decided it does.) “I will be keeping it.” (Has fully integrated the veil into his identity within 12 seconds.) “If anything, the translucence enhances intimidation.” (It does not. It enhances lighting.)

Faust: “I object to the premise.” (Moved closer to the bokeh anyway.) “My presence here is strictly academic.” (Protested on principle. Posed on instinct.)

Charles: “I only styled his hair.” (Will not be held responsible for the veil.) “I tried to stop him, Docteur.” (The ceremonial napkin had already bonded with its host.) (So well-behaved he could almost pass for a mansion resident. Alarming.)

Faust’s internal summary of the scene: “Five grown men. One chapel. A veil with delusions of governance.”