Dear God
I never used to be this person, but here I am, hands on my chest and my knees in the carpet, hoping you’ll stop it.
CW: MDNI, smut, toxic!Barty, mean!Barty, situationship/fwb, im not kidding everything about this is toxic, drinking, smoking, intoxication, violence, oral (F and M receiving), car sex, rough sex, jealous sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, degradation (use of slut, whore, etc.), spanking, scratching, spitting, mild cumplay, hickies/bruises, let me know if there is anything else that needs to be added, not proofread very well
word count: 8.2k
Take his kiss right out of my brain
You needed this, just one night. One night with your friends, drinking, dancing, doing anything but thinking really. You needed to take your mind off of everything, off of him.
So here you were, the cramped bottom level of the club in your college town, the bass booming and drowning out not only the words of your intoxicated friends, but all your feelings as well.
You begged your roommates to come out with you. Lily, Mary and Marlene had all told you it wasn't a good idea, that you would inevitably get drunk and end the night on one of their bedroom floors, bawling to them about him. No matter how much you insisted, everyone knew how the night would go, and even though they hated watching it, they agreed to go out with you and drown your sorrows, ready to rub your back and cradle you later when you cried yourself to sleep.
But right now you were knocking back shots at the bar with Marlene and silently betting on yourself to out-drink her tonight. Lily had cut you off about an hour ago, telling you that you needed to slow down and drink some water before continuing any further. You nodded, agreeing with her, but stumbled your way to the dancefloor where you found Marlene and challenged her to a contest behind Lily's back. Marlene being Marlene instantly agreed and off you went.
Marlene laughed as she finished her shot, the liquid burning all the way down her throat. You giggled along with her, but the vodka had long since lost its effect on you; tasting like water now.
You swayed back and forth, giggling at nothing, pulling Marlene back to the same dancefloor you found her on.
You both moved to the beat, the neon lights dizzying and heightening your drunkenness. You spun around like idiots, bumping into the poor people around you, apologizing but continuing on dancing, too drunk to really care. You threw your head back and laughed, feeling heavenly and weightless in the moment.
You felt hands on your waist for a moment, turning to see Lily giving you a knowing look.
“I thought I told you to slow down.” she chided. The music drowned her out, having to get closer to hear each other.
You giggled, “Sorryyyyy,” you sang, letting go of Marlene and throwing your arm around Lily’s shoulders instead. She helped balance you and smiled.
She leaned in between both you and Marlene, saying something about moving to the next location, but you had to strain to hear her. You just let the girls drag your drink body to the next bar.
You made your way outside, shivering in the night air. You were wearing hardly a thing; a tight, stringy top and a short, sinful skirt. You wanted to look and feel good tonight, what could you say?
Mary was leading the pack, the location on her phone, Lily helped you along down the street and Marlene lit a cigarette behind you.
You made grabby hands for Marlene, she quirked an eyebrow at you. “What do you want?”
“Smoke.” you slurred.
Lily and Marlene laughed at you. “You don’t smoke, silly.” Marlene said, taking a long drag, the cigarette smoke floating away into the starry sky above.
“I could,” you whined, still reaching out, “jus’ a little.” You tried your hardest to give a pleading smile. You wanted anything to keep your buzz going strong and to keep your mind off of the certain someone crowding your every thought.
Marlene rolled her eyes and shook her head, inhaling from the cigarette once again.
“I think that deciding to start smoking is more of a sober decision, yeah?” Lily offered, guiding you towards the inside of the sidewalk after you stumbled over your own feet, not wanting you to trip into the street.
You whined again, so unfair.
Mary pulled out her phone, bringing it up to her ear. “We’re here… outside… No idiot, outside the bar!... well come get us… ugh.” she hung up and put her phone back into her purse, walking up to you. “The idiots told us to meet them here.”
You looked up at the sign of the new location, the bar that your friend group often attended, music blaring and rumbling your chest. “The boys’r here?” you asked.
“Yeah, they should be coming out to get us.” She answered.
“Yay!” you cheered, grinning to Mary. You were glad to see the boys, glad to have distractions in general.
Mary took your face in her hand, caressing your cheek, “you feeling alright, love?” she asked. You nodded, warmth in your cheeks and eyes fluttering closed.
“There they are!” you heard a familiar voice shout merrily. The voice was attached to none other than idiot #1; James Potter.
“Jamie!” you shouted, throwing yourself from Lily’s grasp and toward the direction of the bespeckled boy. You tripped over yourself a little bit, James steadying you and laughing.
“Having a fun night already, I see.” he said, taking in your drunken, goofy state. You just flashed him a smile as you made your way into the bar, flashing the bouncer your ID before stepping into the familiar atmosphere. You may be drunk, but your feet knew exactly where to take you, the world around you swirling as you found your way to the back of the bar where the Sirius and Remus were sat; the place you would frequently find them on outings such as tonight.
You clambered into the booth, skirt most definitely riding up as you crawled in. “Remmy! Siri! How’re my favorite boys?” you sang.
Sirius drank from his glass, most likely whiskey, and gave you a smirk. “You are wasted.” he said matter of factly.
“I am wasted.” you confirmed, mirroring the smirk he wore. “Would you like to get wasted with me?”
“How can I resist an offer like that?” he laughed, downing the rest of his glass before standing from the booth, offering you his hand to help you to your feet. You took it, leaning on him for stability, mischief brewing between the both of you.
“You comin’ with Remmy?” you asked the brunette over your shoulder.
“Nah,” he answered. “I’m good for now.”
“Party pooper,” you said childishly under your breath to Sirius, making him chuckle.
The both of you were off before the girls and James could even reach the booth. Lily hollered after you two for Sirius to get you water and only water, which you both promptly pretended like you didn't hear.
Sirius had enough money to buy the good cocktails, so you let him. You drank your expensive liquor and the sweet syrupy concoction, spilling a bit as Sirius pulled you along with him around the bar and back to where your friends were.
The whole room seemed to spin and blur as you let Sirius guide you through the sea of people. Flashes of bodies walked past you, not able to make out a single person.
That is until you passed a familiar face; a tall blonde boy with a cheshire smile cut across his face.
Sirius stopped you both, saying something to the other boy. The conversation didn’t look pleasant, but you couldn;t exactly hear what they were saying, not with the blasting music and the hundred people surrounding you.
Your eyes narrowed, taking in the features of the boy. He looked so familiar. Everything about him was familiar.
The blonde turned to you, and that is when you realized, like a picture coming into focus. It was Evan.
Your heart sank. Evan Rosier, the best friend of Barty Crouch Jr., the one person you were avoiding in this world. If Evan was here, then so was Barty, never leaving each other’s side.
Evan only smiled at you, turning back and walking away. Your eyes trailed him, even as Sirius ushered you back to the booth. You watched and watched, eyes straining as you raised up on your tiptoes to keep him in your line of sight, stretching to see over the crowd.
Sure as shit; Evan sat himself down at a booth, his friends all gathered around and laughing. Evan, Pandora, Regulus, Dorcas, and in the middle of them all, looking you dead in the eye from across the room, sat Barty. The reason you were drinking yourself dumb right now. His expression cold as ice. The glare sent a chill down your spine.
You held his gaze before turning away.
Things were difficult with Barty. You two had been on and off for some time now, about two years. And it was more off than on.
Your relationship with him was fire and ice.
One moment the fires of passion would be burning bright between the both of you. Never romantically, no, Barty didn’t do that. He was the type of person to want you one moment, taking up all your time and attention, making sure you were his, like a prized possession rather than any sort of significant other.
Then, the fires froze over, he would ice you out, ignore your calls and pretend that you didn't exist. This pattern more often then not left you with a pit of despair in your stomach, left you wondering why he was doing this, what you did wrong in order to provoke this type of response from him.
Sirius stopped at the crowded table, little room left, your friends all piled in and squished together like always.
“That doesn’t look like water…” Lily mumbled, breaking you out of your thoughts.
You wiped the mopey feeling from yourself, intent on having a good night with your friends even if you did just see the devil himself.
Sirius shoved his way into the booth, bumping against James, making space for himself.
You looked around, even if you did fit, even if there was ample room for you, the thought that crept into your mind was one that you couldn’t ignore. You wanted the thought of Barty out of your brain, by any means necessary.
“Can I sit here?” you asked, sliding into Remus’s lap at the end of the booth. Before he could answer, you were there, perched on top of him already.
Remus’s eyes widened. “Oh, uh.” he stammered. He wasn’t going to throw you off of him, he would never, but he actually didn’t mind.
“This alright?” you asked him, doe eyed. You were incredibly close to him, inches between your faces and nothing between your bodies.
“Uh, yes,” he said, adjusting you so you would be more comfortable. “It's fine.”
You smiled in reply, taking a sip of your drink.
The thing was, Remus was always the gentleman. He would give you his jacket right now if you were cold. He would carry you home when you said your heels were hurting your feet. He was the one who bought you flowers when you didn’t leave your room for a week after the first time you and Barty called it off.
He was always so sweet to you, and there were no feelings involved.
He never expected anything in return, never complained that you were leading him on, never thought that you were his. Because you weren’t you were just his friend and he would treat any and all of his friends in the same manner. Heaven knows how many times he’s carried Sirius home from the bar when he was drunk and useless.
So, right now, you just wanted the platonic affection from him. You were never going to receive it from the person you wanted, the person across the room, definitely staring you down still, so Remus would have to be a close stand in.
Remus’s hands stayed in a respectful position, one on your outer thigh and one drawing soothing circles along your back.
You conversed with your friends, the bunch growing lively and loud the moment Mary suggested a drinking game. The night blurred, you vaguely remember playing the game, vaguely remember Marlene losing and chugging her drink, vaguely remember James’s arm wrapped around a giddy and tipsy Lily. Whatever was going on between them was cute. They thought that they were being subtle, but everyone knew they were into each other.
Remus got your attention, tapping your thigh. “You doing alright?” he asked.
You swayed, swiveled to better look him in the eye. “I’m doin’ great, Remmy.” you sang. Remus’s features lit up, amusement at your slurred speech and loose limbs. “But I’d be better if you’d come grab another drink with me.” You pouted, bottom lip jutting out and trying to get him to cave in for you.
Remus gave you a knowing look. “Lily won't be happy with me if I get you another drink.”
You giggled, looking over your shoulder to where the redhead was sitting, her attention taken by James, talking real close and making her laugh.
“She’s not even payin’ attention.” you argued. You stood from his hap on shaky legs. “Remmyyy,” you whined tugging on Remus’s arm, “come on, come get a drink with me.” you emphasized your sentence with a drunk hiccup.
“I think you've had enough drinks for the both of us.” he said with finality in his tone,but there was a smile on his handsome face.
You pouted. “Come on Remmy, humor me.” you huffed, slinking back into his lap, legs not able to hold you upright. Maybe another drink wasn’t a good idea… no, another drink was a wonderful idea.
“How about we wait a little while and see how you’re feeling then, huh?” He said, raising a brow and pulling you further onto his lap so that you were comfortable.
“Hmmmm fine,” you conceded, but you wanted, no, needed to be doing something. You felt eyes burning through you. You know where the feeling was coming from, and you knew that you wanted to put it to an end.
A plan of how to ensure Barty stopped his glaring at you and leave you to enjoy the rest of your night popped into your hazy head. You felt bold, the liquor giving a helping hand in that regard.
“How about we go to the dance floor instead of waiting here.” you asked, again hopping off him and stumbling as you got your sealegs. You were pulling on his arm to no avail, he still sat planed in the booth, amused by your efforts. He was chuckling at your antics.
“Pleeeeease Remmy,” you whined, “you never dance with me.” You were really putting it on now, but guilting him seemed to have no effect.
“Not a big dancer, love.” he replied, resting his head in his unoccupied hand, the other being jerked around by you.
“Please, just this once?” you begged, giving him your biggest, drunkest puppy eyes.
He rolled his eyes, letting you pull him from the booth this time. “Fine, only if you drink some water.”
You downed the glass that Lily had previously brought you, slamming it back down onto the table, empty. You grabbed hold of Redmus again and this time, he let you drag him to the crowded dancefloor.
Take the pleasure out of my pain
You guided Remus through the sea of people, bumping into people left and right as you made your way to the center of the dancefloor. The strobing, colorful lights pulsed with the beat of the music. You turned to face Remus, both of you pressed together due to the crowded space. You threw your arms around his neck, pulling him ever closer, and began swaying along to the beat.
Remus followed your lead, his hands found their way to your waist. You moved them, side to side, dancing close. The room getting hotter by the second.
You turned, your back to Remus’s chest now. The music moving through you. And maybe it was just the heat of the moment, maybe it was against the better judgement of you both, but you pressed closer to him, your ass grazing his crotch. Remus’s hands gripped your waist, not stopping your actions, instead, pulling you close. You grinded ever so slightly, your head falling back on his chest.
You giggled, feeling bubbly and hot.
Your eyes found those of Barty yet again, watching the two of you. He cocked his head to the side, a challenge. You held his gaze, continuing on dancing with Remus. Barty wasn’t your boyfriend, he wasn’t… anything. He had no say in what you did, who you danced with, who you kissed, who you fucked. The eye contact you held was burning, and you had to look away.
You turned again, breaking the staring contest short.
Here you were trying to forget the stupid fucker, and he was still weasling his way into your mind.
You looked up to meet Remus’s eyes, lips inches apart. You put your hands on top of his, resting at the small of your back. You pushed them gently, guiding them down lower.
“Y/N,” he warned, caution filling his eyes.
You smirked. You wanted to tell him it was fine, that you actually wanted him to take your mind off of the boy whose eyes bore into your back at the moment, that he didn't have to be a gentleman right now. But you didn’t say any of that, you just took his face between your numb hands and leaned in, closing the already small gap between you both.
It was a flash, one moment you were leaning in, eyes fluttering shut, expecting to feel Remus’s soft, plump lips on yours, the next you were being pulled away, someone’s grip on your arm tight as you stumbled back and away from Remus.
You opened your eyes to see that it was in fact Barty ripping you away from your friend, his fingers digging into the flesh of your arm.
Before you could do anything, his fist met Remus’s jaw and all hell broke loose.
James and Sirius were there in an instant, one helping Remus and the other yelling, going after Barty whose friends also made a dash to help defend him. Evan was between James and Barty, holding James back from trying to get back at him. The girls were all yelling for the boys to stop, Lily tugging at James’s arm, Dorcas asking what Barty was thinking.
And just as fast as he entered the fray, he exited, leaving you all to the ensuing chaos. Typical Barty move. He slipped out of the bar alone, his friends apologizing on his behalf, trying to ease the tension.
You turned your attention to Remus, his lip split and bleeding. You felt immense guilt pool inside you. You didn’t mean for this to happen, you should have known better, known that Barty would react that way. But with the alcohol flowing through your veins and the need to make him hurt like how he hurt you, you put Remus in the crosshairs of the jealous rage of Barty.
“I’m so sorry,” you started, trying to apologize for your lapse in judgement and the violent outburst of your… well whatever he was to you.
“Y/N,” he said calmly, pressing a finger to his lip then pulling back to see how much blood there was. “It’s fine, it wasn’t your fault.”
“But,” you countered, feeling your eyes water. You felt terrible for all of this. “It is, I-”
“It’s fine, Y/N,” he repeated, cutting you off. You dropped it for the time being. You would apologize later, even grovel if you had to.
Marlene handed him a bag of ice she had gotten from the bar, pressing it to his lower jaw. With everyone now distracted, focusing on Remus and trying to reign in the chaos, your eyes flicked to where Barty disappeared off to.
And maybe it was because you wanted to give him a piece of your mind or maybe it was because you just wanted to see him, but you felt the magnetic pull to him tug you out the door and to where he stood outside the bar, leaning against the cold brick, lit cigarette between his lips.
He said he had quit the habit. Appears not.
You saw him and in a moment you felt hot; rage or something else, didn’t matter. You were going to take it out on him either way.
“What the fuck is your problem?” you hollered, striding straight up to him.
He rolled his eyes, not even sparing you a glance. For a minute, you got to thinking that he knew you would follow him out of the bar. And you did, so…
“My problem? What the fuck is your problem, huh?” He scoffed, flicking ash off the end of the cigarette. “Whoring yourself out for anyone who's willing to give you a little attention?” His words hit hard, sharp sting making taking you back slightly.
Your eyes squinted. “Fuck you.” You said, trying to match the bite in your tone with Barty’s. You made to walk past him, to another bar, to your apartment, anywhere, just as long as he wasn’t there.
He grabbed your arm, tugging you back and stopping you from leaving. “Trying to make me jealous?” He asked, a small chuckle leaving his lips as if that wasn't exactly what had just happened. “Tell me to go fuck myself without actually saying anything?”
“Am I not allowed to dance with my friends?” You snapped.
He put out his cigarette, letting it fall to the grouch as he snuffed it out under his boot. “Nah,” he sighed, “that wasn’t friendly looking.”
You rolled your eyes. “Whatever, you don’t get to dictate anything in my life, not anymore.”
He pulled you closer to him, his presence intimidating. “I'd like to think you’d have a little fuckin’ respect and not flaunt it in my face, brat.” He spat, as if you were the one in the wrong here.
“Respect?” You scoffed, “Telling me about respect? It’s not very respectful to leave me weeks on end without a reply only to remember I exist one night when you want to get fucked.” you yanked your arm free of his grip and turned to walk away.
You didn’t get very far, he grabbed your arm again, pulling you along with him into an alleyway behind the bar.
“Get off me!” you yelled, batting at his arm holding yours.
He dragged you into the alley, pushing you against the wall of the building and caging you in with his own body. “You are such a slut, you know that?” he said, his breathing ragged, like he was running on adrenaline and trying to hold himself back.
“Am I?” you questioned, squirming in his hold. It was no use, he had you where he wanted you, you were trapped there.
He shook his head, chuckling. “I think your friend would think so, yeah.”
“Fuck you-”
“Yeah I bet you still want to.” he interrupted, his eyes flicking to your lips.
You gulped, his face oh so close. He was intoxicating, even more so than all the alcohol you had drank tonight. And since tonight seemed to be one bad idea, one awful decision after another, you thought that one more couldn't hurt now.
You leaned up and crashed your lips into his. He tasted like smoke and liquor, but under that was the familiar taste of him.
His lips immediately moved in sync with yours. You two may be in a spat, may be fighting, but your bodies could never deny each other. One of his hands gripped your face, tilting it up for better access, the other pinning your hip to the brick wall behind you.
Your body betrayed you as you let out a small moan into the kiss, making Barty smile in confidence.
Barty’s tongue dragged along your bottom lip, asking for access that you willingly gave. You parted your lips and let Barty lead, like every time with him. You felt the cold metal of his tongue adornment on yours and sighed into his mouth.
Barty parted your legs with his own, slotting himself between them, your crotch against his clothed thigh. You gasped at the sudden contact, grinding down and moaning at the sensation. Barty broke away from your lips and placed open mouthed kisses along the crook of your neck and down to your collarbone. His hands dropped to your thighs, pushing up your skirt and gripping your hips.
Your heart was thumping against your chest in anticipation of what exactly was happening. Were you really doing this? Here? What if someone walked by?
Barty seemed to have noticed your worry as he pulled away from you, looking around, over his shoulder before turning back to you. He grabbed your wrist and started leading you down the alley.
You walked behind him, trying your best to stay upright and move in a manner that wasn’t too drunk.
You saw where Barty was leading you now: his parked car in the alley.
Dear god, this was really happening.
Take the way he used to say I love you
Before you knew it, you were laid out in the backseat of his car, the dark tinted windows fogged up, Barty hovering over you. His tongue wasn’t done remembering every inch of your mouth, he wasn't done exploring just yet. He moved from your mouth to the curve of your neck leaving purple bruises in his wake, evidence of this terrible decision that you would hae to cover in makeup tomorrow.
Barty’s hands flipped your tiny skirt up, this time you didn’t care at all. His hands squeezed your thighs, then your waist. His hands kept roaming, further up, flipping your shirt up and exposing your tits. The cool air instantly hardening your nipples and causing goosebumps to line your bare skin.
His mouth moved from your lips and trailed down to your rosey buds, taking one in his mouth and rolling the other between two fingers.
You involuntarily arched your back up into him, gasping at the sensation. Your body started to shake beneath him, needing him to continue.
“Barty,” you whined, your hips bucking up and signaling for attention.
He chuckled low against your skin taking your nipple between his teeth and biting down just enough to elicit a reaction from you. You threw your head back and whined once more.
His mouth left your nipple with a pop, head coming up to hover over you again. He looked down at you, his pupils blown out, the color in his eyes seemingly disappeared and replaced with lust instead.
Barty moved, kneeling on the carpeted floor of the car. He pulled apart your thighs and placed them over his shoulders. You didn’t have to speak, didn’t have the time as he ripped your panties off and threw them aside. The cold air hit your warm core, incredibly wet and needy.
He didn’t wait, didn’t hesitate before diving in, licking a stripe up your cunt. The cold metal piercing catching your clit and making you squirm beneath him. A little moan left your lips, eyes screwed shut and head thrown back, taking in the pleasure of Barty’s mouth on you.
Music to his ears.
He gave a few kitten licks, teasing and mean. You were about to tell him off before he applied more pressure, flattening his tongue and swirling it around your clit.
“Fuck,” you cried out.
Barty groaned, finally remembering the taste of you. He sucked at your clit, making out wholly with your pussy. Sloppy and messy, everything about this was enough to have you seeing stars.
Barty looked up at you through his lashes, sin incarnate. You whined as he plunged two fingers into your hole, leaking out onto the leather of his seat, and began pumping in and out in rhythm with his mouth.
His tongue wrapped around your clit, drawing precise circles again and again, while his fingers worked you open, curling up slightly to overwhelm your senses.
Your thighs clenched together, closing in around Barty’s face. He wrapped his free hand around one of your thighs and pulled them apart, giving him unrestricted access to you.
You felt the edge approaching. With every lick, every drag of his taste buds against your aching clit, you were drawing closer and closer. Barty knew this, knew by the noises you were making and by the way your cunt was tightening around his fingers.
He pressed his fingertips upward, into the spongy spot at the top, and sucked your sensitive bud into his mouth in one movement. With a gasp of his name, you were coming undone, panting and trying to push him off of your cunt. He worked you through your orgasm, your tight hole spasming around his digits.
Barty chuckled, leaning back and wiping his mouth, remnants of your juices running down his chin.
You caught your breath, then sank yourself down to your knees. The carpeted car floor was scratchy but you could barely feel it when your mind was trained on something else entirely.
You pushed Barty back by the shoulder. He took the hint and sat up on the seats. You maneuvered your way between his thighs, unbuttoning his jeans and tugging them, along with his boxers down. He didn’t help, just sat there in amusement, watching you struggle a bit.
Once his boxers were pushed down enough, his cock sprang free of its confines, already hard and leaking precum. No matter how many times, his cock still intimidated you.
You looked up at him from between his legs, reaching out and cautiously wrapping your hand around his base.
If Barty could have taken a picture in that moment, it would be the most scandalous, sinful image known to man. There you were, all sweet and blushing, doe eyes looking up at him as your tongue lolled out to lick his tip, swallowing the pre that was leaking down his length.
Barty groaned and gripped the back of your head, tugging at the roots of your hair a bit. He guided you down, your mouth falling open so that you could take him.
Slowly, you sink yourself down on him, trying to remember to breathe and not to gag. You only made it about halfway, needing your hand to help you fist the base as you began to bob your head up and down.
“God, I love you,” He breathed, arms outstretched over the backs of the seats, head tossed back ever so slightly. “I ever tell you that?”
‘Only when I’m on my knees’ you thought. His words making your gut twist. You don’t know why, could be hurt or pain or lust, you couldn’t tell at this moment. But that is what Barty was so good at, mixing all your emotions and twisting them into these sick feelings.
You sucked his tip, licking it like a lollipop before taking it in your mouth again. His tip hit the back of your throat and you sputtered around him.
His hips bucked up on their own accord, making you take him deeper into your throat. You concentrated your breathing, flattening your tongue and holding your breath.
Your jaw started to ache with the accommodation of his dick in your mouth, filling every inch with him.
“Fuck, baby,” he moaned. Baby? He was so confusing… “If you keep that up I'm gonna cum.”
Your ears perked up at that. No matter what was going on between the two of you; hatred, fucking, love, friendship, whatever it was, you still loved the idea that you were able to make him cum. And so quickly too. You hoped it was you he dreamed of, you that he thought about when he was alone and jerking himself off when you were ignoring his calls and desperate text messages.
You backed off of him, panting to catch your held breath, saliva coating your puffy lips. Your hand now slid up and down his shaft, paying attention to his tip, just how he liked.
“Then do it.” you said, meeting his gaze in a challenge, one you were destined to lose. “Cum.” you said plainly, almost bored.
Barty’s brow twitched as he watched you lick the underside of his weighty cock, tracing a vein with your tongue. Your hand never stopping its movements. Mouth hung open, tongue ready and waiting for him.
Why did he ever push you away? He could never, not when you were so perfect.
Those doe eyes met his once again and he was cumming, white hot ropes shooting across your face before your lips attached to his top and drank you rest up.
You swallowed every last bit that he gave you, coming up after and wiping your cheek off with your thumb then popping it in your mouth to finish that off too.
God he fucking loved you.
Take his imprint out of my bed
Barty drove you both to your place, muscle memory kicking in from all the late nights he would be making the same exact drive.
He turned into your parking lot and parked in what you think was a reserved spot for employees but you weren't going to tell him that, if he got a ticket then that was the least of his karma catching up to him for being a dick to you.
He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned off the car, climbing out and making his way to your building. He didn’t open your door, didn’t wait for you, didn’t help you out. Why would he?
You rolled your eyes, climbing out yourself and following him into your apartment complex.
You took the elevator to your floor, Barty’s lips found their way to your neck for the duration of the short ride.
You pulled him along with you to your apartment, fumbling around for your keys that were in the tiny pocket of your tiny skirt. You unlocked the door and ushered Barty in.
Thank god, your roommates weren’t here. They were probably still out at the bar. You didn’t need a lecture from them on why this is a bad idea or their judgmental looks, disapproving of this toxic self destructive behavior you were indulging.
What could you say? You had needs and Barty just so happened to fill them. But he also created needs, like the need for therapy…
Barty tilted your face up to his, kissing you once more and molding his mouth to yours. One of your hands gripped one of his wrists and the other reached up to hold his face just the same.
You both clumsily toed off your shoes and left them at the entrance; a strict rule in the house enforced by Mary.
He began walking you backward toward your bedroom, not needing to be told where to go, he had been here many a time. Snuck in during the small hours of the morning often enough to be able to find your bedroom in the dark, just like this.
Your back hit your closed door, he opened it and pushed you though, closing it behind him again in one fluid movement.
He walked you back, back, back, until your calves hit your bedframe. He leaned down, grabbing the backs of your thighs, signaling you to jump. You obeyed and he lifted you as if you weighed nothing. He kissed you once more before throwing you onto the bed.
You yelped as you fell through the air and bounced on top of the mattress. Barty stood above you, tugging his shirt off and letting it fall to the floor, his tattoos on full display.
You clenched your thighs together for some relief as he started you down and unbuckled his pants.
“Still not over the shit you pulled.” he said, his voice gruff.
“I don’t care,” you said truthfully. Right now, you just needed him to fuck you. Emotions and thoughts can come tomorrow, but now you just need him.
“‘Course you don’t.” he said, pulling you into a sitting position so that he could take your top off. He hated when you worse these types of things; too many strings or cords or buttons, too hard to get off when he needed them off. He gave up trying to be delicate, just ripped it off your body, throwing it to the ground.
You were about to scold him, but he shoved you back onto the mattress, now hooking his fingers under the fabric of that tiny little skirt you had on. He tugged once, but then decided to leave it, just flipped it up instead. You panties were already long forgotten in the back of his car.
He shoved his own jeans and boxers down and stepped out of them.
His cock was hard again, no surprise there. Every time you had hooked up with him, he lasted rounds upon rounds, hours of sex without a break. One of the things that made him so addicting.
He pumped himself a few times before climbing onto the bed with you.
“Not even gonna get me wet?” you snarked.
He scoffed, pulling your thighs apart and pacing himself between them. “You’re wet enough, trust me. Making such a mess of your thighs, practically dripping.” he said cockily, inspecting your pussy, spreading your lips and running a finger through your folds. He was right, your slick was already making a mess of your bed, you just wanted to tease him a little.
His hand cocked back and he landed a slap against your bare cunt. You cried out, your body jolted and your thighs closed. He pried them open again and spat straight onto your clit, running his fingers up and down, mixing with your arousal.
“There,” he said condescendingly, “should be wet enough for you now.”
He lined his tip up to your entrance, slipping as he attempted to press in. Guess you were really wet enough.
He realigned himself, pushing the fat tip of his cockhead past your folds, slipping in and stretching your hole. You whined at the sensation, Barty moving slowly into you, slipping himself into your heat inch by inch.
Your mouth fell open in a silent moan. Barty groaned above you, continuing sheathing himself into you, splitting you open on his cock. As he finally bottomed out, you remembered how to breathe, gasping down air, chest heaving.
“Fuck, I missed this.” he laughed breathlessly, kissing your neck, tongue pressing into the purple marks he already left.
You threw your arms over his neck, pulling him closer to you, feeling his bare chest on yours.
He finally moved, slowly pulling out almost all the way, before pushing back in. So slow, not in a romantic and loving way, no, this was more so that you remembered what he felt like when he inevitably left and didn’t respond to you for a couple more weeks. He was making sure you felt every inch, every vein. He made sure to make you feel him so that it ruins anyone else you may try to replace him with.
Take amazing out of our sex
His hips snapped to yours repeatedly. Your eyes rolled back into your skull. You moaned out his name, hands coming around to claw down his back, leaving searing red lines. Barty hissed above you, drinking in the painful dig of your nails.
Your hands fumbled around, gripping onto his shoulders for stability as he thrusted into you, the pace he set brutal and unrelenting. You nuzzled your face into the crook of Barty’s neck, biting into the skin of his shoulder to muffle your moans.
Barty pulled out suddenly, climbing off the bed. He grabbed your ankles and pulled you to the edge, flipping you over, bent over the bed. He pulled your ass up, angling your hips so that he had better access.
He slipped in, no restriction, your pussy inviting him in openly. You were on your tiptoes to accommodate the fact he was much taller than you, your hips lining up only when you stretched.
“There ya go,” he sighed once he was fully inside you again, your walls squeezing him like a vise. “This pussy is just beggin’ to be filled, huh?”
You whined in reply, your brain not able to form cohesive thoughts with him brushin your cervix.
He jerked his hips forward, sending you lurching. You gripped the sheets under you, the stretch and pleasure mixing. He hit deep inside you, depths no one else ever has. Over and over, caressing your cervix, his tip bullying your womb, making room that wasn’t there.
You cried out as he set his pace. He took both your wrists from their place beside you and pinned them behind your back, using them as leverage to fuck into you.
His balls slapped against your clit in a deliciously sinful sound of skin on skin and your pussy squelching with each thrust.
If he intended to ruin every other experience for you, he did.
“God,” you panted, thighs shaking under you, “B, please- fuck,” you panted.
“Aw,” he cooed, “nicknames?” he gave you a particularly rough thrust, making you yelp. ‘B’ was what you called him when you weren’t angry with him, when you would cuddle all night and talk until the sun came up. ‘B’ was the name in your phone that you blocked and unblocked week by week.
“Please, B- I-I’m close.” you cried. Your thighs gave out completely, your hips falling onto the edge of the bed.
He released your hands, his own coming to lift your hips back up to where he wanted them. His fingers pressing into the flesh of your hips and sure to leave marks.
“Such a slut.” he groaned. One of his hands came down to swat your ass, the pain making you hiss and your body jolt on its own. “Beggin’ on my cock when not even an hour ago,” he landed another slap to your ass, heat left in its place. “you were all over some other sad fuck.”
You only whined in reply to this, not in the mood to argue with him that Remus was just a friend.
Your silence didn’t sit well with Barty, he gripped your hair, pulling you up so that your back met his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder as he reached around you to play with your clit.
“What,” he scoffed in your ear, fucking you in tandem with his finger drawing tight circles on your bud. “Fucked too dumb to answer me?”
Honestly, yeah. You were so incredibly close to your climax, feeling it sit low and hot in your stomach. You were too focused on the sensation of your orgasm fast approaching to try and conversate with him.
He stopped suddenly, halting both the thrusting of his hips against yours and his finger to pull away from your core. The promise of your orgasm fading fast before your very eyes.
You whined and wriggled in his grasp.
“Answer me,” he growled in your ear, “or I stop.”
You thought quickly, words spilling out of your mouth before your brain could compute. “Remus is a friend.” You blurted out. You would say anything in the moment to get him to continue and bring you to your awaiting climax.
“Hmmm,” he breathed, rutting into you again, causing you to moan out his name. “You let all your friends fuck you like this, huh?” he emphasised his point with a deep, rough thrust, knocking the wind out of your lungs.
“B,” you pleaded, writhing against him, the brink of orgasm closing in on you yet again. “N-no, just you.” you pleaded. “Only you.”
Barty chuckled, your reply apparently amusing him enough to make him return to circling your clit, pressing just enough to make you a moaning, squirming mess in his arms.
"Thats right, only me," he repeated, "remember that." he said, his breath grazing your ear. "Now you can cum."
You didn’t wait, allowing your orgasm to wash over you, not wanting it to be pulled away from you again. You cried out as you came, your whole body trembling and your breath leaving your lungs.
Barty let you ride out your high, allowing you to come down before shoving you back down onto the bed. He manhandled your fucked out body how he wanted, positioning you so that you were laying on your tummy. He grabbed one of your pillows and jammed it under your hips.
He pumped himself a few times before slipping in once again. You cried, unable to move under his weight as he picked up where he left off, his pace chasing his own high now. He was completely in control like this, total domination over you, a fitting example of your relationship with him.
Deep inside you, you felt him rut into the spot that only he had been able to reach before, the spot that had you seeing stars every time you two fucked.
You screamed, the noise cut short as he stuffed your face into the mattress to quiet you down. He prayed that no one else was back from the bars yet, didn’t need your roommates knowing that you two were fucking, didn’t need their bitchy, judgemental glares as he saw them on the way out.
You babbled and moaned into your sheets, the fabric becoming damp with your drool as your tongue lolled out of your mouth, perpetually open.
Barty groaned, watching you helplessly take what he was giving you. He thrust deep into you over and over. Every drag of his cock against your soaked walls drawing you both to the edge.
Your whines and whimpers grew weak, mindnumbing pleasure making every corner of your brain shut off. All you had was what Barty was giving. Your body tensed, you couldn’t take any more, you shook as you came again, twice in quick succession. Your body relaxed, going completely limp under him.
Barty groaned at the sight, your body twitching from overstimulation below him. His thrusts grew sloppy, his dick twitching inside you, feeling your warmth squeeze down hard on him. He groaned, pulling out and fisting his cock until his white ropes of cum painted your ass, shooting up and marking your back.
“Fuck,” he breathed, graning as he plopped down next to you on the bed. You both panted, trying to catch your breath.
You were spent, entirely fucked out. Your eyes fluttered shut, content to just fall into a blissful sleep right here, but you felt Barty’s arm snake around you, pulling you into him. Your back rested against his chest for the second time tonight, but now, it was softer, calmer.
Barty’s ragged breath grew quieter and less labored as he relaxed into your bed with you in his arms. He placed a kiss to your shoulder, pulling you closer, then you were out like a light.
Take the way I still might want to…
The next morning, he's gone, no surprise.
Light filled your room in the early morning. You blinked to clear your vision of sleep and looked around your room. He was gone, no trace, every sign of him scrubbed from your room. You might have thought you dreamt the whole thing if it weren’t for the ache in your limbs, thighs feeling both leaden and like jelly.
You thought briefly that you might open your eyes and he would be there next to you, peacefully sleeping with his arm wrapped around you, both of you enjoying each other's warmth. You thought that you didn’t have to figure everything out, you could just enjoy the time being.
But that was wishful thinking, as always.
That pit in your stomach appeared again, that feeling that happens every time he does this.
You sat up in your bed, swinging your sore legs over the side, standing and making your way to your mirror.
You were right, there were marks and bruises left all over your body. Reminders of the boy that leaves just the marks and nothing else.
You sighed, throwing on a tee shirt and a pair of panties before padding out into the living room of your apartment. You didn’t know what to do right now, but you knew you at least wanted some company.
Walking down the hallway, you see Lily and Mary sitting on the couch, mugs of tea in their hands as they cuddled up under thick throw blankets. Marlene was in the kitchen, pouring herself a bowl of cereal.
You entered the room and the girls’ attention turned to you.
“Oh,” Lily began, “Hey, love.” she turned to face you, her face beaming, even this early in the morning. “Where did you run off to last night?” she asked.
“Yeah, we started to get worried.” Marlene yawned, spooning cereal into her mouth.
You swallowed hard, all the thoughts and feelings from last night came flooding back to you. All the consequences that you pushed off until morning were upon you. You stood there, silent.
You felt so stupid for all of it.
“Y/N,” Mary called gently, “you alright?”
You shook your head, eyes filling with tears. You couldn’t stop as they rolled down your cheeks.
“Oh, love.” Lily said, her tone heartbreaking. She set her mug down and threw the blanket off of her as she made her way to come and hug you. She wrapped her arms around you and that was the final straw, you sobbed into her embrace.
You fell to your knees, Lily kneeling down with you, taking your body into her arms and holding you tight, petting your head and rocking you back and forth.
Mary and Marlene were there in an instant as well, rubbing your back and wiping you tears, comforting you through your cries.
You knew this was how the night was going to end, you knew better than to believe that it would end any other way than how it always did; with you crying and your best friends left to pick up the pieces.
Song inspo- dear god by tate mcrae
this is the longest this I have ever written, DEAR GOD
