#bamon meta

1) Damon has a narrative connection with witches especially Bennett witches.

We see that Damon made a deal with Emily Bennett to get Katherine out of the tomb. This is why he even comes to Mystic Falls but instead of going after Bonnie he goes after Caroline? Why? He protected Bennetts when Emily was put to death and knew Bennetts existed in Mystic Falls. Why would he not have been close with Bennetts (even if it is just honoring the deal)? Why would he not try and get close with a naive, young Bennett witch (whose powers activated because of when Damon arrived).

This was the perfect time to form a connection between Bonnie and Damon, so why didn’t they? Racism! They just couldn’t imagine how to put Bonnie and Damon’s book connection into the show plot because they made Bonnie Black. They were even inconsistent with the background because why would Emily just let Bonnie get attacked? Why wouldn’t she, now a spirit, not know that Katherine wasn’t in the tomb? Anyways, let’s move on…

2) Damon is shown to have used a witch for help regarding the tomb before—and yes it was a sexual relationship.

Damon and Bree is the first time we see that Damon did have a relationship outside of Katherine. They actually dated and she fell for him but he broke her heart. However, their meeting still implies that not only do Damon and Bree have seen each other on and off, but they still have a sexual relationship. They literally kiss which shocks Elena! But what else do we see with Bree? Damon later kills her.

Because it’s okay to showcase Damon liking a Black woman when you know you’re gonna dispose of her later. You will see this with Greta and Klaus later.

It is only after killing Bree that Damon half-heartedly tries to persuade Bonnie into helping him.

But she rejects him each time.

It makes absolutely no sense that Damon, who had been characterized as cunning and smart, would wait until he has soured himself to Bonnie to get her on his side. He literally is shown to have put on a charming nice façade with Bree but they couldn’t give that plot line to Bonnie? They were planning on turning Damon to an anti-hero anyways. Showing that he could be soft and nice with someone (in this case Bonnie) would’ve been a better set up than that bad, misogynistic writing they did with Caroline. But remember, they can only do this if they planned on offing Bonnie so of course she couldn’t get that.

3) Klaus and Greta

Back when Klaus was a more mysterious figure he was known to always keep witches by his side. People still say they don’t remember this characterization but don’t believe me? Here’s proof:

He is known to keep witches around because Klaus craves power. He loves it and he needs it. We see it with Greta, a witch we thought he kidnapped but he actually has a sexual relationship with her.

But again, she is killed later and then in season 3 what happened? His centuries love for witches completely gets ignored and they have him chase Caroline who is more of a damsel in the situation. Why? Because giving Klaus to Bonnie would show Bonnie as desirable by (up until this point) the most powerful being of all and Julie can’t have that.

They cited that Bonnie “wouldn’t get with a vampire” but Caroline literally rejects Klaus at every turn so it isn’t as if Bonnie would’ve been written to get with Klaus even if her pursued her. But remember racism is illogical when you really think deeply about it.

4) Klaus and Bonnie do have a historical connection: Ayana

Like Damon, Klaus also has an historical connection to Bonnie because he knew her (at the time of s3) oldest ancestor, Ayana.

Ayana is the one that makes the vampirism spell. She is the reason vampires exist! She created a whole new species!! How would that not intrigue Klaus about the power Bonnie could possess? Klaus already saw Bonnie have so much power that she nearly killed him twice! He would want to get her on his side. It makes so much sense but racism blocks any of this from happening.

Esther literally comes and channels from Bonnie’s line. The spirits give Bonnie dreams about Klaus and the coffins so she can awaken Esther and get rid of vampires once and for all. Why would Klaus not want Bonnie as a friend (and lover) rather than a foe? Because Julie Plec thinks Bonnie should just be the MFG’s handmaiden that can’t be morally gray or do dark acts even though she canonically used to.

5) Both Klaus and Damon challenge Bonnie to be more powerful

I see this very clearly in the 70s Dance episode (2x18) and when Klaus kidnaps Bonnie to unbind them together (3x18).

Damon telling Bonnie she has the power of 100 witches so she can take on Klaus, then also it’s revealed he worked with her to protect her for when they have Klaus at his weakest? Excellent!

Klaus telling Bonnie she should have more faith in herself when she doubts that she can even unlink them in the first place? Perfect!

Actually why didn’t they just have Klaus target Bonnie to unlink them in the first place before Esther could do the ritual? Instead of having Damon turn Abby in their loserish attempt to stop Bamon shipping this would’ve been a great Klonnie moment but we wasted it on Klaro-nevermind.

I really loved that scene. I’ve had a lot of discussions with different people since then about Bonnie’s state of mind in the past few episodes, and what it means that she had such tunnel vision about a human future with Enzo, that she seemed ready to use the cure on Enzo without even talking to anyone else, esp. Damon for obvious reasons. 

Because it was definitely one of the most selfish things she’s done, though I don’t necessarily mean that in a bad way. I mean, that’s not what I typically mean when I say I want Bonnie to learn how to be more selfish, but I also feel like a lot of the hate that she received after this episode aired was unwarranted.

All of these characters have done selfish things in the name of love. All of them have neglected their responsibilities to each other at some point or another, due to tunnel vision... whether that was Stefan in s3 on his revenge vendetta against Klaus, or Damon in pretty much every season for many many reasons often relating to Elena, or even Caroline in s5 hooking up with Klaus despite what she knew it would mean to Tyler.

And I don’t say that to hate on those characters, I say it for the opposite reason. All of those actions are framed by the narrative as heroic or romantic, or at worst, flawed but understandable. And I think Bonnie deserves that level of consideration too. Especially considering she’s selfish far, far less often than anyone else on the show has been.

Also, I really loved the way that Damon reacted to her during this phone conversation. You could tell he was sad that she’d been planning to use the cure without talking to him, but he wasn’t angry or accusing about it. Maybe that’s because he’d already made peace with not getting the cure when Caroline convinced him that they needed to use it on Cade, or maybe it’s because he’s the King of Tunnel Vision so he understood where Bonnie was coming from, or maybe he didn’t feel that much ownership of the cure considering Bonnie’s the one who brought it back from the prison world in the first place. But whatever his reasons (and I think it’s probably a combination of those), he did understand exactly what he was asking of Bonnie, when he asked her to forgo giving the cure to Enzo.

It calls back in tone to the scene in 6x17 when Bonnie is wanting to destroy the Ascendant and tells Damon that she doesn’t want to devalue her own life again by letting Lily have it. And once again, Damon is at her door metaphorically, asking her to risk losing a piece of herself, because once again they’re all out of other options. But this time he’s not righteous or angry, this time he just sounds... sad.

And this time, Bonnie includes him in her rage... once she comes to terms with what he’s saying about there not being any other option, she’s not raging at him, she’s raging on his behalf too. Because she recognizes that he’s giving up the same thing she is, and that he understands. So she bitterly says, “We’ll rescue everyone but ourselves, again.” 

And that level of understanding, that building upon history over and over towards this deep level of partnership, is something that BD has done better than pretty much every rival ship, whether they become romantic canon or not. 

“Damon has just done too many bad things to be with Bonnie!”

This is what TVD fans say all the time (and they are backed by racists like Julie Plec and Caroline Dries):

But this didn’t stop people from shipping D*lena or stop Plague and Dries from writing Delena as a couple in s4-6.

“Yeah but Bonnie just has morals!”

Again this is repeated by both TVDU fans and Julie. When Bonnie and Bamon fans respond with “Caroline and Elena are on the same side of the morality spectrum as Bonnie but you guys ship them with Klaus and Damon, respectively” they respond with “Okay yes but Bonnie has more morals than Caroline and Elena!”

Which is funny because Bonnie is actually the most morally gray girl.

She lied to her best friend that she despelled the device so the Tomb Vampires would die. Where does this become morally gray? Bonnie also wanted Damon to die. Damon is the brother of her best friend’s boyfriend. Damon also has formed a friendship with Elena at this point so killing him would put Elena in a tight position where she’d have to choose loyalties (because remember Stefan would never forgive Bonnie for this and Elena is in love with Stefan). She even tries to kill Damon again in 2x02 and Elena has to stop her. Why? Becaue Elena was supposed to be the most morally good one, not letting her friend kill even if it is Damon. Bonnie was never supposed to have that role.

“Okay but over time Bonnie had the most consistent morals of the three girls!” Wrong.

Elena became butchered over time (that alone deserves its own post) but Caroline was also consistent with her morals. The most morally gray thing Caroline ever did (until sleeping with Klaus but more on that later) was kill 12 witches to save Bonnie in 4x17.

Caroline is disturbed over this and it went against what she had said earlier to Klaus about how people “who do terrible things are just terrible people.” But we, the audience, didn’t blame Caroline because she did something terrible to save her friend. In this same season Elena kills Kol’s sireline to save Jeremy and get the cure. All the girls have done morally gray things but are still (supposed to be) on the same side of the moral scale. Yet only Bonnie gets limited by both the writers and fans about who she could be with.

“Okay, they all have their gray moments but it would just ruin Bonnie to get with Damon.” But not Caroline to get with Klaus? Delena had to happen in some way or the other, fine (I’m a doylist when it comes to these things. So I won’t mention Delena) but you all loved Klaroline! “That’s different!” How?

Caroline sleeps with the worst vampire of all. Someone who has abused her (ex) boyfriend, killed her bestie’s aunt and tried to kill her three times! This is even turned to a girlboss moment where she dismisses Tyler’s hurt over this because the writers see themselves in Caroline. Klaroline was never supposed to be endgame and Julie Plec disliked the ship but kept servicing it. Why? Two reasons: 1) Self insertion and 2) it stopped Klonnie.

So why can Klaroline be entertained but Bonnie can’t even get with Damon (or at least a romantic moment with him) when it occurs in the books.

“Um the books are not like the show so that means nothing.” The show isn’t like the books but they take inspiration from it. Actually they did all of the pairings/situations in the books:

1) Stelena

2) Damon chasing after Elena

3) Meredith and Alaric (they turned Meredith from a brown teen latina to a white adult but KEPT her relationship with Alaric).

4) Forwood

5) Katherine being romantically interested in Klaus at first (they have a messed up romantic thing in the books).

6) Matt and Elena

7) Sage and Damon (Sage is a man and romantically likes Damon. Damon does not try to stop his feelings and in the show Sage and Damon are intimate together).

8) Steroline (Caroline likes Stefan in the books just like the show but short lived).

Yet the one pairing that shared romantic and sweet moments in the books but didn’t make the show was:

And the simple reason is that Bonnie is Black. They took all these romantic pairings from the books but kept refusing to do it for Bamon because Bonnie is Black. It’s racism.

“But I just think men and women friendships are important-”

Oh spare me. Caroline offered Klaus a friendship yet yall didn’t want that. Elena wanted to just be friends with Damon (in the books they are like frenemies) but yall didn’t want that either. Yall never say you wanted more platonic moments with Matt, Tyler and the girls. In fact yall only say it for Bamon and Steroline, and the reason yall say this for Steroline is because they had NO romantic chemistry. Not because their story was bad but because they didn’t sell it well.

Bamon had romantic chemistry, with the actors purposely playing them as romantic (Ian confirms they thought it would happen) but yall don’t want Bonnie to get the guy so that’s why you’re all about “platonic soulmates” BS.

Speaking of this platonic soulmates BS, that was never even planned:

Ian had to wine and dine Julie just to get that s5 ending because he expected Bamon to happen on a romantic level but instead they got friendzoned with Kat/Bonnie being punished by getting stuck in the prison world for 15 episodes. They even gave BonKai the realistic villain treatment, where he traumatizes her. Bonnie doesn’t even get a villain that “wouldn’t hurt me.”

Julie Plague: I always said Bonnie’s got too much integrity to ever, ever, ever fall in love with Damon Salvatore. But even as we got later into the seasons, I remember thinking, “Well, if Stefan and Elena end up back together, maybe there’s a chance that we could go down that road.” But I just feel like Bonnie should be the only character that doesn’t let his sexy blue eyes compromise her morality. I held her to a higher standard, I guess, that she was going to be the one that didn’t fall for his shit. So once you set that rule, then it becomes, “Okay but everybody really likes their chemistry together, so how do we indulge that without compromising the core of Bonnie’s character?” And it was for them to be unlikely best friends.

Except in season 7 Enzo comments that Damon sends Bonnie’s morals into a titzy meaning he makes her more morally gray. So if this was allowed in her friendship with Damon, what was the point in refusing for them to be together in any way on a romantic level? Racism. They hated Bamon so much that the third character to ever compliment Bonnie, Sybil, was just used as a way to stop Bamon shipping (Sybil calls her pretty and Damon hot so she wonders if they were just platonic in the prison world. This is because Kat and Ian as well as Fans used to say that something sexual happened between them in there).

“I get that but look at Delena! How would Bamon work if delena didn’t?”

Are Elena and Bonnie the same character? Unlike Elena, Damon actually respects Bonnie. Unlike Elena, Bonnie can match Damon since she’s supernatural. Also, some people are just not meant to be while others are. It’s funny how first Bonnie is more morally pure than Elena then it’s well if it didn’t work for Elena then it just can’t work for Bonnie. In fact, I can write ways that Bamon would’ve worked but that’s its own post lol.

All of this was to highlight how the excuses about not making Bamon romantic in show canon is just to ignore the obvious: racism from both writers and fans. You don’t like it when Black women get the hot guy to the point you ignore book material. You find excuses as to why Bonnie has to stay in the magical negro role and how she must remain morally pure but others can be morally gray for their ships! There are no excuses that actually stick. The only opinion that works is if you wanted Damon to end up with nobody (understandable), but everything else? Nope. Anyways, Bamon was the superior ship that had everything going against it and in my head they are together in Italy with their daughter lol!

Oh thank you for asking because there are two ways I'd go about it (sorry in advanced if it's long):

In a near complete redo:

Damon should've been intrigued by Bonnie from season 1.

In season one we see that Emily and Damon had a deal so, instead of Damon going for Caroline he goes after Bonnie. Bonnie's powers have been activated as soon as Damon arrives and her friends don't believe her about being a witch or psychic. Damon should charm his way into Bonnie's life and when she trusts him (because hey she's young and a bit naive) she tells him that she's a witch. He immediately believes her which makes her happy. They are friends here (but that there is romantic subtext) and they know more about each other that others may not know, especially on Damon's end. This changes when Damon's plans about Katherine and Emily's deal is uncovered. This hurts Bonnie and she goes cold on Damon.

I wouldn't have Grams die because that was stupid and I don't want Bonnie to go through this alone but I'd have Grams actually keep the deal with Damon ("Bennetts always keep their word" or something like that). She can get ill from this which also further pushes Bonnie from Damon, but Damon would still have a soft spot for Bonnie. He should still now become fixated on Elena due to transference.

Now from season 2-3 Bonnie and Damon being reluctant allies are fine but they should share soft moments. I would also have Damon continuously try to earn Bonnie's friendship back. In season 2 I would have introduced a werewolf lover for Bonnie and in season 3 I'd have Klaus pursue Bonnie due to him loving powerful witches. Also, Grams dies at the end of season 3 and I'd also keep Abby coming back in season 3 so all three generations can bond. At the end of season 3 Elena chooses Stefan. Damon now respects that and later (in season 4) figures out that whole thing was transference.

In season 4, Bonnie dealing with grief of losing her Grams and her abandonment issues meets Shane who knew of Sheila and worked with her. He introduces her to expression. Damon, who is staying away from newly turned vampire Elena and Stefan (especially after he figures she's sired to him), starts hanging out with Bonnie again. He likes this expression era and lets Bonnie express a darker side of herself that others wouldn't let her (he also doesn't like Shane lol). He and Bonnie get together in season 4 and stay together because objectively these two wouldn't abandon each other (with proper writing that isn't trying to force it like Damon's season 7 desiccation lol).

I honestly would have a Bamon baby in the later seasons (maybe 6 or 7) tying to Bonnie becoming an immortal witch because Bonnie wouldn't wanna be a vampire (but I do think she'd like that Damon would turn her if there was no other choice).

Other option:

Season 5 is when they get together after Elena chooses Stefan when the sirebond breaks (also Bonnie never dies lol). Bringing Jeremy back caused Bonnie's magic to weaken and Damon offers to help which she reluctantly accepts. Bonnie then explores a darker side of herself with Damon and she is more independent from her friends. This causes conflict when Bonnie is no longer an on-call witch for them but Damon and Bonnie consistently choose each other.

2) Now if you're keeping in line with canon as much as possible:

In Season 6 after the prison world, Damon comes out of it with romantic feelings for Bonnie. Elena didn't erase her memories but did start moving on, her and Damon simply don't click like they used to. The time apart has shown them they were just obsessed with each other it wasn't this true love story so they break up for good. When Bonnie comes back she is probably hesitant to be with Damon but he pushes her to give in and be selfish for once which she does. They get together and stay together. Probably by season 8, Damon proposes and somehow Bonnie becomes an immortal witch to be with Damon forever.

Other option?

Season 7 where Bonnie and Damon give into their feelings for each other. This is harder due to the Elena factor but ultimately Damon choosing Bonnie would be great! Elena can make peace with it when she wakes up, she owes Bonnie that much lmao.

1) Damon cannot be a good guy. That’s just not who he is. He is someone who simply has a different moral code. He is a hedonist who is loyal to who he loves (especially romantically). This makes him a good anti-hero but a terrible “good guy.” Can he change? Yes, but when I say change I mean he can stop murdering. Can he start being like Stefan and adopt his moral code? No. It’s just not him.

2) It’s more interesting for Bonnie to become darker after all the trauma she’s went through and being used by her friends. When I say dark I mean she adopts some of his hedonism. I don’t think Bonnie would become a murderer but hurting people who hurt her? Not giving a damn about people who have hurt her? Saying no more? Having more fun with magic? Using it for selfish reasons? Yes to all!

3) Becoming more morally gray is way more interesting and Bonnie deserves to let loose! She doesn’t owe anyone moral purity and Damon’s the perfect person to help her with that. All she’d ask of him is to not kill innocent people anyways. Win-win!

4) Nobody wants to see a Delena repeat (“THEN STOP LOVING ME!” “I CANT!”). I don’t want them to be arguing over morals constantly, that is boring. I didn’t want them to turn into Stelena either (saving Matt because “agency”). I want Damon to always choose Bonnie no matter what because she actually needs someone who will put her first. Fans who say Bonnie would never like a “burn the world down for you” lover just want her trapped in that morally good box. I didn’t want Bonnie to turn into Elena where she gives in constantly to Damon either don’t get it twisted! Bonnie runs him!

Bamon in season 1 is so unique in that it’s literally square one. Bonnie meeting Damon at this point helps us see Bonnie as a teen girl without any supernatural trauma. One key thing I’ve noticed is that people genuinely can’t fathom Bonnie making regular teen girl choices. “Oh she would’ve seen right through Damon,” when there’s nothing even in canon to support that. She’s not Meredith Sulez from the books who just isn’t charmed by Damon. The only reason Bonnie was put off by Damon was due to the abuse of Caroline. Them interacting first in season one is sort of different and this is how I see it unfolding:

“You don’t want much at all/A six-eater and an Adderall/I tried to catch a ride/Doors open, suicide”

I always imagine that Bonnie would be as intrigued with Damon as he is with her. He naturally is intrigued because he knows she has unlocked potential as a witch but Bonnie’s intrigued would be different. She can sense he’s dangerous but she can’t stay away from him. She can feel that it would be wrong to go after Damon or to let him in but she can’t help it. Damon doesn’t seem to have baggage. He’d be upfront about just wanting to have fun and at first Bonnie would be down with that but again she’s a teen girl and she’d start catching feelings quickly. Damon will too but he won’t admit it to her and especially not to himself (yet).

“I tried to get your attention/But you were too busy looking at the passing lights”

This really reminds me of Bree and Damon. Bree, up until the end of her life, wanted Damon to be over Katherine and choose her. The soft spot he developed for her meant nothing because his heart belonged to someone else. This would also apply to Bonnie. They would share some sweet moments of course but Damon would avoid anything too deep or deflect. He wouldn’t let her know exactly what he’s hiding from her, (Damon would use humor or other ways to distract her from prying too much) but she can feel it’s something deeper and perhaps something dark. However, she ignores it because she’s naive with abandonment issues. He’s helping her as she uncovers her powers! She’s getting attached and she doesn’t care! I love this because Bonnie is always seen as the adultified teen girl. There are alot of fans that cannot fathom Bonnie making impulsive and emotional choices because it would be “character ruining.” The humanization of Bonnie Bennett would be “character ruining.”

“I heard the static in your heart/Cause you’re just a stereo boy/Stereo boy/I changed the station but my pain it still remains”

As she spends more time with Damon she thinks his feelings for her are starting to grow as well but something holds him back. He covers everything and hides everything well. I can see the tipping point for Bonnie would be when she tries to pressure Damon to open up but he hits her with “You’re not my fucking girlfriend, Bonnie.” She’d give a nasty reply and decide that night that she needs to find another guy besides Damon to focus on.

She finds another guy, Ben. I’d have them go out for maybe three episodes but she doesn’t feel the same high with him that she feels when she’s around Damon. Damon is also getting jealous as Bonnie stays away from him. She likes his acts of jealousy because it confirms that he feels something for her and hopefully it’s love.

“You want just what you said/A fast life and an empty head/I tried to catch a ride/Doors open, suicide”

Damon’s very honest about his hedonism. Yes, she should stay away from him. Yes, she should block him and never speak to him again. But she doesn’t want to. So when things with Ben don’t work out Bonnie goes back to Damon. She’d make a comment about how she bets he’s been with other girls in the mean time and when he says no, her face lights up. She’s back in her ride with him.

“Look at me/I'll let you drive me off the edge/If I can land in your oils”

This would be Bonnie’s inner thoughts. She would always try to voice this but never would be brave enough to. But Damon knows it; he isn’t stupid. The intensity in how she looks at him reveals it all. One thing I love about this is that we would get to see how Bonnie’s abandonment by her parents and lack of supervision has caused her to start falling for a guy like Damon. He does help her loosen up and her friends can tell. They also notice that she abandons them to go spend time with someone else. All the time she’s been spending with Damon has been in secret. Her own little secret bliss. He even gives her a necklace to wear (because he trusts her and she is a Bennett).

But it will all go to shit when Emily starts possessing Bonnie. She would warn Bonnie to stay away from Damon which confuses the young witch. Due to this warning Bonnie won’t inform Damon of what’s happening.

“I heard the static in your heart and fell apart/'Cause you're just a stereo boy/Stereo boy”

When Emily destroys the crystal, Damon vamps out because he’s still seeing Emily (not Bonnie). Stefan stops him from doing anything and Damon regains composure, but this frightens Bonnie. He leaves the woods then Stefan and Elena take Bonnie to her home and tell her everything (The crystal, the fact that they are vampires, Katherine, etc). The most painful part for Bonnie would be the Katherine of it all. Deep down she knows she’d probably overlook the vampire thing but he was in love with someone else the whole time? She would wonder if Damon was just using her all along and think how could she be so stupid! She ignored all the signs but she finally knows why she could only hear static in his heart. He reserves only the music for Katherine.