#baimbow

So I don’t really write that much and this is actually the first longish thing I’ve written and posted but I really wanted to jot some thoughts down and share them.

So I’ve been through about 4 years of seasonal depression, and while walking my dog outside today I realized that I wasn’t really depressed anymore and that this was the first winter I was actually happy? And I think most of that is due to a few people who don’t know how significantly they changed my life. I’m making this post as a shoutout to them so these people are aware of the things they do everyday to change my life and make it worth living.

I think it happened on a weekday while sitting in dunkin donuts with my friend @baimbow , I don’t remember how this came up but he ended up saying something that I pinpointed as the moment I knew my depression was gone. He said to me, “I think you need to know that you’re more amazing than you or other people might think you are”, and I would’ve had a more sincere reaction if I didn’t have an entire breakfast sandwich in my mouth.

So from that day I promised myself I would do my best to give more effort into living, for the sake of my friends and for myself. I worked and developed a webcomic that got featured once or twice, I started searching for a job, my grades were getting better. And this is all because of a simple sincere thing my friend said to me.

It wasn’t only him that helped me get out of this hellhole. I could shorten this segment to a comment saying “thank you for your amazing art you cured my depression and gave me will to live” but I don’t think that does this person justice. 

I came across @velocesmells‘s artwork on tumblr one day and wasn’t expecting to be impacted in such a way by it. It was everything my eye wanted to see: beautiful brushwork, character expression, amazing colors-- and she deserves the recognition and love she gets from her followers everyday. I tried talking to her once or twice but talking is hard especially when you’re trying not to seem creepy... but I really wanted her to know what she was doing to help me improve, even if she had no clue who I was. If I were to have changed somebody’s life in such a way as she did, I would have wanted to know as well.

A long time ago my ex-girlfriend @tomiyeee taught me that there’s no use feeling jealous or enraged by somebody’s art. Instead be inspired to work towards achieving artwork like theirs. This is exactly the thing that happened when I came across Judy’s art. She helped me discover my own art style, one that takes advantage of my observation skills and doesn’t take forever to do. She helped me overcome my anxiety and post my comic online. She helped me become motivated to work towards a goal, and to strive to become better. All while not even interacting with me.

The power artists have is the magic of inspiration. You can convey a thousand words through your art unintentionally and someone will read it so sincerely that it will change their life. My goal is to be like Judy, but not in an artistic or personal way. I want to be like her so I can inspire other people and do what she did to me. I want someone to look at my art and work towards it until they are confident enough to diverge onto their own path. 

So with all that said I think we should work towards being better people because people you don’t even know might look up to you.