How do I do that? How do I manage my rapidly declining mental health when I'm never given the opportunity to actually take care of it? The ONLY reason I'm doing this job at all is because I have bills to pay. If I could work part time and write part time, I would in a heartbeat. But I'm just always focusing on having to go to work. I DON'T WANNA GO TO WORK

I wanna drown in my imagination and come up for air with a finished story. I wanna lie in bed and stare at the ceiling until my main character makes sense. I wanna listen to my playlist until the plot makes sense. I want to watch the clouds pass by until the side characters purpose parts the clouds and let's the sun shine through.

Motherfucking ow.

So I’ve been flaring for about 20 months now. We’ve tried adding a DMARD and changing biologics... in fact, I’ll be trying my third biologic starting this week. There has been a joint injection, which helped for a few weeks, and oral prednisone, which helped a little until we backed off the large starting dosage. Today I got a second injection in that same joint because it’s hard to be running around in medical school on a knee that refuses to function even semi-normally (and I use ‘running’ loosely because let’s be honest, jogging isn’t even something the knee lets me do these days).

I have to do basic life support training today.

If I remember correctly, doesn’t CPR require you to be on your knees?

Oh boy, hopefully there’s a modification for that puppy because I am most definitely not supposed to be kneeling today.