Oh boy, cranky S/O is so fun because it’s like owning a pissy cat. I’ve decided to give you some weird partial drabbles about how you idiots meet and the aftermath.

BOYS! EVERYONE IS GETTING A CAT, NO THIS IS NOT NEGOTIABLE.

———————-

AZ:

-Meets you on a train after you get done with a horrible day at work. You’re sitting in the only spot next to a space big enough for him to sit down because f*ck being near people. People are staring at him the whole time but you aren’t. Because again, f*ck people.

-He can hear you grumbling, and tries to ignore it at first, but he’s become such a compassionate man in his wizened age, and he finally just cracks and decides to offer a metaphorical hand.

AZ: “Have you had a long day, my dear?”

You: *Glowering and grumpy, not looking at him.*

AZ, sighing: “I understand your anger. It will pass with time, but for now, there is no shame in the feeling. Would you like to discuss it? I have no qualms with lending an ear.”

-You finally look at him and oh my GOD that is a big dude, he is MASSIVE. It’s so jarring that it breaks the anger spell in half and yeets it out the window. You just nod dumbly, and start telling him about your sh*tty day.

-You end up getting offered his phone number afterward, and he calls you later from what must be a really old phone. You both end up becoming friends and you even start offering to visit.

-You’re still a sourpuss and although you’re cordial with everyone, you only really seem to like AZ. It bothers him a little bit that you seem to dislike the kids, as he adores them and being around him often involves being around them too.

-You would likely just remain friends as he is, at least now, more social. Besides, you end up just becoming another found family member. You get along with the kids eventually.

L:

-He meets you in a parking lot, late at night. He happens to be in the area when you leave work, and catches movement out of the corner of his good eye behind you. Someone has followed you, and you aren’t aware until you hear a yell and a scuffle behind you all of the sudden.

-L has put himself between you and the stalker, and since he is pretty massive himself, he’s pretty intimidating. The stalker slinks off, and you realize what happened, or rather, what was about to happen before this random homeless guy intervened.

-L only glances back to be sure you get in the car and lock the door, waiting around until you pull out of the parking lot before he finally wanders off, tailed by a pokemon you’re not familiar with. You’re not normally one to trust people, but this guy quite literally just saved your ass.

-You bring a few items for him in the blind hope that you’ll run into the guy again. The next time you do though, it’s unfortunately when you’re in the middle of arguing with someone about them scuffing your vehicle really badly in the grocery store parking lot. You huff as the person drives off in a rage, and nearly hits poor L in the process.

-He notices how your behavior immediately changes when you see him, how you soften and scramble over to him to see if he’s okay. It surprises him a lot that you seem to like him so much. He’s even more shocked when you bring him over to your car and pull out the things you brought for him. He’s extremely grateful.

-Eventually you bring him home, and of course it leads to you two developing feelings because look at that charming smile! He does notice how cranky you seem to be with others, despite how loving and cuddly you are with him. He worries a little for you, but it also gives him a selfish sense of satisfaction.

Lysandre:

-Meets you at a social dinner for the Kalos elite. You got brought in as someone’s arm candy but the person severely underestimated your aggression toward being brought to social events.

-After an argument outside, you storm off to some other corner and discover a garden off to the side of the main event room. You wander over there, grumbling about how people suck and wondering how the hell you’re supposed to get home now. You, of course, bump into a person standing somewhere close to the path. They’re in a dark spot so you don’t see them

You: *Cranky and slightly tipsy* “Move jackass.”

Lys: *Blinks and raises an eyebrow* “I beg your pardon?”

Lysandre steps out from the dark and you turn to yell. Oh, that’s a big man. Where and how the hell was he hiding?l Well so much for yelling, the words die instantly in your throat. You’re not going to be the dumbass to piss this guy off.

Lys: “Ugly words often leads to ugly situations. Perhaps you’d like to try again?”

You: *Oh no he’s hot*

-You end up begrudgingly apologizing and Lysandre accepts it, inquiring as to what that reaction was about and if there’s something he can do to help. You’re shocked that one of these socialites would give a sh*t about it, so you tell him you don’t have a way home because the jerk who brought you here doesn’t want anything to do with you. He offers and you say no, not wanting to owe someone else a favor.

-He gives you his phone number, his actual personal one not his secretary’s phone number, and tells you to call if you needed anything. No pressure, just wants to offer a hand. You end up texting him when the party ends because you still don’t have a way home. He and his chauffeur take you home in his fancy car.

-Surprisingly sweet and doesn’t even try to hit on you. Just offers to let you vent because he absolutely understands being dragged along as eye candy for a socialite and haaaates it (Women would fight over him at events, that’s why he always goes alone. If he brought a date the poor person would be murdered. So he often finds himself begrudgingly on a woman’s arm that he doesn’t know and being pulled along to meet her friends.)

-You two end up getting close after a lot of late night phone calls and hilariously you bailing him out of stuff. He just comes and hides with you because he cannot deal with the public today. He doesn’t mind that you bare your teeth socially at people. He prefers having someone tough that he doesn’t have to be as worried over.

Cyrus:

- Oh boy this guy. So forget actively meeting him anywhere in public, you two idiots meet online in some kind of chat forum. Cyrus struggles with small bouts of loneliness and has used small online spaces that tend to talk about technology to rectify that. You happen to be in one of those spaces.

-You both have an avid interest in legendary pokemon and their energy’s usage in technology. Yours is because you’ve met Regieleki and wonder if its electrical output could be used to power Galar, where you live. Cyrus, obviously, is using Dialga and Palkia to warp reality, but he claims it’s to alter the power consumption in Sinnoh where he lives.

-You guys end up chatting a little bit about it, and whenever he goes on and sees you online, he messages you a silly gif of a chatot wiggling aggressively at a cup. He’s such a goofball with you and you decide that you like this one.

-After almost three years of knowing each other, his fall in Sinnoh and subsequently telling you what he did, he stops messaging for a while. You keep feeling compelled to check on him. The next time he responds is 6 months later, and you tell him you were about ready to fly to Sinnoh and hunt him down yourself. He messages back “Do it”.

-You scare the sh*t out of him three days later by sending him a screenshot of your plane tickets and he scrambles to get to the correct airport. He can’t just leave you alone there that’s not okay.

-You show up and are regretting this sooooo much there’s too many people. You land in Sinnoh and immediately make for the exit to get the hell away from all of these people. You get a message from Cyrus asking if you’re really here, and when you message him back, you hear a distinct ping of that same app from someone’s phone nearby. You and Cyrus spot each other for the first time, him sat on a bench outside. He sends you the Chatot gif whilst staring directly at you, and when you get the ping and look at your phone, you realize that that’s him.

-He stands politely to greet you, only to get slammed into because you throw yourself into him and nuzzle right into his coat. He’s caught so off guard, but awkwardly pats your back. You’re just glad he’s okay..and that he actually showed up.

-He appreciates the fact that you aren’t social, because he’s the exact same way. You two just curl up in the corner like two pissy meowths that only like each other. It’s adorable and irritating because when Cyrus is with you nothing gets done.

Lear:

-Meets you at the PML tournament, where else?? You’re both growling at each other like angry primapes because you’re being forced to socialize specifically with each other and you hate it.

-You two fight like assholes every time you battle and even your pokemon start getting sick of it. You stop responding to Lear’s challenges and just start avoiding him. He comes looking for you eventually and demands to know what made you run.

-You literally do the “you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid” and the stupid man, the sweet little dumbass, takes that as a challenge and just does it.

-You’re more surprised by the fact that you like it than the fact that he grabbed the collar of your shirt and kissed you. You two luvdiscs end up making out for like 15 minutes before he finally lets go.

-You guys stop fighting after that. It’s really weird and simple but turns out you two just had a weird little crush on the other and didn’t know how to express it because you didn’t want to talk to anyone and you didn’t want to tell each other.

————————-

I think I got a little off track with this, but it turned out okay. Don’t mind Lear he’s like 20 and has no social skills he’s an idiot.

A-Z Headcanons 

Touch :: How do they handle contact? Is their personal bubble big?

Baxter is NOT a fan of physical contact. He will shrink away from being touched and flee if he senses a possibility that he may be hugged. However, he will tolerate brief touch/hugs from friends and those he is close to.

🐉 anon

PFFT okay hang on

I’m gonna give yall dialogue for this.

——

AZ

Would you love me if I was a Wurmple?: “I would, but not as I do now. I love all Pokemon, so you would be no different. Perhaps a cherished companion, similarly to my dear Floette, I would like to think.”

What would you do if I became a Wurmple right now: “…Why? Is this relevant? Are..are you worried you may be at risk of becoming a Wurmple? Should I be concerned, my dear?”

L

Would you love me if I was a Wurmple?: “Well, I’ve not made any friends of them, so I wouldn’t know. However, I’d like to think I’d get used to you that way. That’s the uh…red Caterpie looking pokemon with the spikes, right?”

What would you do if I became a Wurmple right now: “Well..I’m not sure. I’d probably panic and pick you up, and try to find a way to fix it. I’d be more worried about you getting eaten by a pidgeotto.”

—-

Because at least when I had shoulder length hair with much thicker hair it took so long to maintain and take care of. Like washing and drying and styling that alone has to be a several hours if not all day thing with the amount of hair he has and it being on the thicker side.

I fear the amount of products he goes through especially shampoo and conditioner lmao.

Also sorry if this has been asked already

This actually hasn’t been asked, and as a person who has both long and brittle hair, lemme tell you it’s a LOT!

-AZ would likely have several shampoos and conditioners for hydration and protection. His damaged hair is difficult to repair, so for what he has left that’s moderately healthy, he has to be pragmatic and keep it protected. However, all of the products he uses require almost gallon sized versions of them, because he just has THAT much hair.

-Has to use an anti-dandruff conditioner, his scalp it’s likely not healthy if his hair isn’t either. Dude is old and sheds flakes if he doesn’t use his conditioner. In fact there are certain days where he has to only use conditioner because his hair is too dry to use shampoo on and risk making it worse.

-Uses a metal comb instead of a plastic or wooden one. Wooden ones and plastic ones break because of just how coarse his hair is. It’s like poodle fur!! He has to use tools that are built for strength. Honestly I wouldn’t put it past him to have to use general pokemon grooming tools on his own hair because of it.

-Washing his hair requires at least two hours of thorough scrubbing and brushing, and Floette is too small to be all that helpful, but they do what they can. When he has a partner, they eventually become a very integral part of the routine to help him out.

-Even though it’s not dark anymore, his hair is wild and coarse just like it used to be when he was king. Whenever it’s down it nearly drags the floor, and some bits hang over his shoulders like they did in XY.

AZ - the musty Old Person Smell, also some flowers & herbs

L - whatever sewage he waded through on that day; really nasty version of the Homeless Person Smell or a downright rotten meat smell

Cyrus - sterilized hospital room OR actually super sweaty

You’re pretty close actually!

AZ

Overall, he smells pretty good. Because he’s not actively rotting like most old people are, he smells okay when it’s just his natural musk. He also smells like his flower oils, which he uses on his hair except for two which is an aloe rub and a pokemon safe soap he makes from Gogoat milk and lavender :D (fun fact this is actually a thing and I’ve used them; goat’s milk can be used to make soap!)

He does have a weird undertone of ozone. Blame the Ultimate weapon.

L

dependent entirely on where he is and what he was doing. If he’s been actively on the street, he smells like a genuine landfill. If he’s boarding at a pokemon center, he smells of a cheap soap option they carry, which has a stale, almost clinical smell. If he’s finally moved in with his significant other, he actually smells like almost citrusy thanks to the soap brand he chooses to use.

He shares the same weird ozone undertone. Again blame the weapon.

Cyrus

he actually smells like soap. Like genuinely unscented dove brand soap. He’s a clean freak and that includes himself, but he doesn’t like smells, so he..basically doesn’t smell like anything unless he has been sweating a lot, and this man is Sinnohean, so uh..he barely sweats. Yeah Cyrus is weird.

I CAN HAVE SEVERAL BLORBOS AT ONCE.