#lysandre headcanons

HAH DA OOPY GOOPIES I LOVE THAT

Look at the goop children.

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-The first time you notice one of them, it startles you for a second. L was talking and sees you staring at his hood. He raises his eyebrows and glances behind himself but doesn’t see anything. You don’t ask, and he doesn’t either.

-The second time is when you happen across L in the park, and he’s got a few of them in his hands. When they form together, before your eyes, turns into his canine pokemon he always has with him. You question if you actually witnessed that or if it was a dream the next day.

-Finally, the third time, you manage to point the little goober out to L before it retreats again. He gently coaxes the little one out, and it looks like a booger that was given sentience if you’re being honest. It’s pretty cute though, inching along his arm like that. He holds the little critter out to greet you on his fingers, and explains that this is the original form of Zygarde.

-You feel your skin crawl when it climbs on you. It feels like a snail or something similar, but it’s really cute. You bring the little pokemon up to your face. It tries to climb on your nose and L can’t help but chuckle at it. “Zygarde seems to like you.”

-The fourth time you see them, and yes it’s a few, a couple of them fall off of L’s coat and start to panic. They actually scoot almost a block before they find you and you screech like a spooked whismur when they crawl onto your leg. You look down and see their scared little faces on your calf and you get worried about them, scooping them up into your jacket and scampering off to go find L to return them.

-You stop counting them after that, but you enjoy it whenever you see them. They become very fond of you and whenever individual cells are out and about, they always somehow find a way onto you like little caterpillars. Occasionally, you’ll be walking around with Lida or one of the twins and they’ll ask what the little pokemon on your arm/leg/back/etc. You start off confused until you feel around and a gummy little goober squeaks when you touch them. It always gets a giggle out of you.

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I adore the little goobies. Look at the babies. They be babies.

For those of you who may not know what they are, Lofthouse cookies are cakey sugar cookies that have frosting and sprinkles on them, and they're quite sweet

Given the fact Lysandre is (technically) canonically a coffee snob, I feel he'd extend that to pastries and baked goods since I assume Lysandre Café sells Poké Puffs and whatnot

I already feel like Lysandre is generally repulsed by anything store bought, and he has a preference to make things from scratch as it adds more of a soul to the food, and this goes especially for sweets as only he knows the perfect amount of sugar to add to a recipe

So to see Lofthouse cookies, a premade, very sugary, cakey textured sugar cookie, he would wonder if there even is a god in the world, as no god would allow for such things to be created

It's a pun. His Japanese name comes from "Fleur de lys", the stylized motif of an iris lily historically associated with the French monarchy. Which. Well. He is directly descended from Kalosian royalty.

And he's a savvy businessman in multiple industries but uses it so much across all of them. Of course he'd trademark it.

But like. Flare de lys. If you squint a bit. It's also kind of literal. That's Lys's Flare. Lysandre's Flare. His signature passionate flame red, unmistakable.

Oh, but if it was trademarked, why can Café Nouveau use it in their uniforms? Because it expired/was annulled when Lysandre was presumed dead and his businesses either shuttered with no one to inherit it, or repossessed by the region's governance for similar reasons, with nothing to back the trademark's affiliation.

In a similar tangent, there's also an additional headcanon about Café Nouveau I have: Grisham and Griselle aren't the only ones with that sort of background of being shunned for their parents' affiliations with Team Flare. Café Nouveau was built from ground up by them and others like them, and primarily employs those with similar backgrounds, on top of the disadvantaged and needy. It's just that Grisham and Griselle were the only ones who had the secondary intentions of Team Flare's rebirth through participating in the Royale, especially when they were the one spearheading the whole Café Nouveau thing. They, like Lysandre, hadn't wanted to implicate people who genuinely were innocent, but they still had that part of them that were driven to choose such a path for themselves.

Oh sweet baby jeebus. The feels are abound everyone clutch thy pearls and prepare for sweetness.

Also TW for direct references to sex, impregnation, pregnancy, childbirth, and mentioned child abuse.

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AZ:

AZ has long accepted that he was never going to have children, at least that’s what he always told himself. He also was aware that he probably wouldn’t have made a good father in the first place. His father wasn’t exactly the most stellar example.

Even in his near immortal life he has aged considerably, his body has warped his uh..”natural weaponry” as I had him call it, and he genuinely considers himself to probably be infertile. You had every reason to believe that when you both went at it like lopunny one night when AZ was in one of his rare moods, and decided to forgo protection.

What you both weren’t expecting is for you to almost IMMEDIATELY fall pregnant. It’s actually a little ridiculous how fast it took. When you finally take a test and figure it out, you don’t believe it at first. You actually go get a blood test to confirm it. When you get the results, you feel like you’re in shock. As far as you know, this could be AZ’s one and only chance at having a kid.

When you bring this test result to him..he’s completely blindsided. He didn’t think he was able to do so, and over the next few months, watching you swell with his child is such a magical experience for him. He’s constantly nuzzling and kissing your belly, talking to his child, and he gets far more touchy and cuddly with you. He may even be inclined to get into his moods frequently during the pregnancy thanks to pheromones (yes humans have them) and hormones related to the pregnancy.

When your son is born (issa boooooy) AZ suggests the name Asier, meaning new beginning. He ends up having his father’s signature dark, wild hair that is specific to his gene pool.

L:

L is unaware of whether he would want to have children or not, but given the state of him and his status as a wanted criminal for reasons he doesn’t even recollect, it’s probably not the best idea. However, he is only a man, and you are quite the tempting little weasel when you wanna be.

Once you get him settled in with you and cleaned, eventually his libido does return to him over time. Slowly he starts approaching you on his own and purring sweet words as he cuddles up to try and coax you into giving him a little love, so to speak.

It doesn’t take immediately, in fact you get to enjoy him a few times before it happens. When you do find out, you aren’t sure how to tell him. You actually wait a few weeks in turmoil until he confronts you gently to ask you why you’ve been so distant with him lately.

You show him the results of your test and he freezes. He isn’t sure how to respond at first, but then he gets a soft smile on his face. He pulls you into his arms and picks you up by the waist, kissing your navel very sweetly. It’s cute and all, but he does do this when you two are in public and he is almost seven foot so a bunch of people see it and you get some weird looks, but L does NOT care.

He’s doting to the extreme during your pregnancy, to the point that he starts getting just a liiiiiiittle bit annoying because he just won’t calm down about it. Anything and everything you need is attended to for you, and he makes you rest a lot.

When your daughter is born, L and you agree on the name Leona, meaning grand lioness. It’s obvious who she takes after with her WILD bright ginger hair.

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Oooooooh Anoo they can be a little weird. Not super weird, honestly, but they are a little weird XD

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Everyone:

All of them like a bit of belly, all for different reasons.

AZ is because it meant prosperity in his time and he sees it as healthy and precious.

L doesn’t know why, but he really likes curvy people.

This is because Lysandre likes curvy people.

AZ:

Due to his social background..it’s your hair. Specifically if you let AZ play with it, comb his hands through it, put little braids with flowers, it gets to him a little. Reciprocal hair care is borderline foreplay for this dude.

One of the best ways to rile him up is to get him into the bath with you and sit in his lap, right on his crotch, and ask him to wash and braid your hair. You’ll literally feel it work.

L:

He actually has two.

First one, body rubs. Massage his body in ANY capacity and he will jump you, no questions asked (even when he should be asking questions, dude is so easy).

Second one, domesticity of any kind, although it’s the most pronounced at the beginning of the relationship. Cooking together, soft moments on dates, showering together. Hell, spring cleaning might earn you a few rounds. Just the concept of having someone to love and a home to do that in just..makes him horny. I see it like a weird nesting thing, like he’s comfy and now his libido is back.

Lysandre (pre-ZA)

Really toned legs, calves specifically. He prefers curvy people (even if he refuses to admit that) but he will straight up ignore the rest of you if you have really nice legs.

He’ll sit there rubbing and massaging your legs in his lap for hours if you let him, like it’s a little weird.

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AZ and XY Lys are pretty subtle about it, but L doesn’t know what the word subtle means when it comes to his partner. It’s kind of funny because his horny face looks like a resting pissed face because he is very focused on not popping a boner over stuff that should be just normal situations. He gets better about it the longer he’s with you.

Oh lord y’all, please they can’t handle a babyyyy

(Using a female S/O, since this is baby fever thing. However, neutral and male readers I see you I promise I still love yall bbys)

TW for suggestive stuff (we makin’ babies after all lol)

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How does AZ handle baby fever?

He doesn’t have to activate too many brain cells in that mind of his to notice the hints. He even gets a flashback to a brief memory of his mother doing the exact same sh*t to his dad when she wanted his brother. It’s a little bittersweet, honestly.

He does play along, following you into the baby sections of stores and looking at all the little booty socks and jumpers, glancing at cute prams and the cribs when you see them on sale. He finds it very sweet that you seem to really like children.

Visiting others solidifies it in his mind that you might make a good mother. Just how gentle and playful you are with their baby, and just how instinctively you take to caring for the little one during the visit. It’s sweet to see. He doesn’t exactly fancy himself a good father, honestly, but he does mention how nice it would be to have a little one of his own. He even cracks a joke about still being virile.

However it doesn’t exactly..connect, per se. Does he understand the hints? Yep. Does he understand what baby fever is and how it affects you? Indeed he does. Does he know how you would intend to get that baby? Logically, yes.

Does he actively realize you’re about to jump him for his DNA?

Nooooooooooooooooope.

…sure connects when you drag him into a room and-

How does L handle baby fever?

Oh..my god.

Denser than f*cking TUNGSTEN.

Every hint flies over his head like a comet. He’s happy to come along when you look at baby stuff. Will actively also say things like “too bad we don’t have any children of our own, my sweet” like you aren’t staring at him with heart eyes and a frothing mouth.

He thinks you’re such a lovely playmate for the babies! He actually loves babies so he enjoys being able to play with them too. It does not occur to him that he can just make his own.

For some arceus forsaken reason it does not cross his mind that you want a baby. At all. Not a f*cking clue. You’re gonna have to write it down, tape it to a frying pan, and bang him over the head with it for him to get the message.

Even dragging him into the bedroom and literally throwing the box of condoms out of your apartment window somehow doesn’t make him use that half baked blobfish he calls a brain and notice what you’re doing.

You have to grab his face, look him dead in the eyes, and say “impregnate me you dumbass” before he gets the picture.

Genius of the century, everyone.

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Okay so!

Favorite HCs for AZ:

-I love the idea that he still has his team with him, but that he’s not a registered trainer. I also like to think he spoils the sh*t outta all of them. I’m talking poffins, cute accessories, big ass pokemon beds, the works.

-my personal headcanon about the importance of hair to his people. Braiding his hair is seen as a sacred, intimate thing and I just like that idea. More weird ancient culture sh*t there’s SO much potential!

-His original name being Azion. This one is because of a user on tumblr/blusky who found it and it fits the egotistical jackass I think he used to be soooo well.

-Piggybacking off of that, past AZ being the BIGGEST prick. Not evil, but boy howdy he was an ASSHOLE. Karma kicked his ass.

-AZ being a knowledge hoarder. All the information he’s ever come across is stored in his library or in his memory.

-Pissed off AZ being very scary. Yes he’s a gentle giant, but he’s still giant, and his patience can only thin out so much before he snaps.

-That he struggles with intimacy. As much as I want Peepaw to be happy, realistically he’s going to be traumatized and struggle with it, which gives room for growth and mutual affectionate gestures outside of constantly touching each other.

-The perspective of immortality. He feels it if he starves, while he bleeds out, when he can’t breathe, but he can never die. There’s so much potential for angst and horror there. (Which I don’t wanna write because it scares me I’m a love bug I don’t wanna hurt peepaw.)

-That he ISN’T DEAD, GaMeFrEaK!

-That Pokemon just flock to him. He’s such an ancient being, and the residual energy from the curse, Floette, and the weapon sort of make him smell/appear like a legendary Pokemon to them. They see safety near him.

-That he still has some physical strength, he just doesn’t have a lot of energy or endurance these days.

Favorite Headcanons for L:

-That he has a very expensive taste in food still.

-That he made friends with Mama Garborder and her baby Trubbish in the alley behind one of the buildings. (My hubby always got a female back there so we headcanon that it’s a mama and her three pups)

-That he’s gained this sort of dumb dog look whenever he gets confused. He’s an idiot and it’s adorable, because now it doesn’t make him get pissy anymore.

-That he’s grown three inches taller already in the past five years due to the exposure to the weapon. He hasn’t noticed it yet.

-That he bumps into things occasionally because he’s lost his depth perception. His other eye can still see mind you, but only light/dark, blurry shapes, and movement. It’s made him not only more reliant on his pokemon, but also on the kindness and empathy of others to help him. With friends/family/partners, it’s made him kinda touchy, as he often has to put a hand on them to figure out where they actually are relative to him. He’s kind of a large man so he is worried about bumping into people.

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I’ve only recently started writing for L, so there’s not a whole lot for him, versus AZ who has PLENTY.

FEED THIS POOR TWIG MAN💔

Oh boy..sorry this took so long! And YES FEED HIM HES VERY THIN-

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-Doesn’t actually know what his favorite foods are. He has to eat them again to find out. Turns out he likes meats and cheeses a lot, as well as pasta. Very filling meals with a lot of good flavor.

-He rarely remembers to eat, so having someone to keep him on a more regular diet would do wonders for his health. He’s also going to be incredibly grateful to you for doing so, even if you try to let it bounce off.

-Always gets drawn to the kitchen when you cook. He will lean against your back, arms snaking around your waist, and nuzzle into your shoulder affectionately as he tries to peek over to see what you’re making. You may even hear a hum from him if he thinks it smells good, but usually he just asks what it is. He usually leaves after a few minutes with a kiss to your temple as he goes to set up for dinner/lunch/breakfast.

-likes domestic stuff like this way more than he was expecting. Especially after he insisted on staying in the boarding centers or straight up on the street for as long as he did despite your best efforts. He still worries sometimes that he’s burdening you.

-will bother you for food if you’re eating something and he wants to try it. You start having to bat his nose because he’ll come up behind you like he does when you’re cooking, and nuzzle your cheek all sweetly, before trying to snatch a bite of your food with his teeth. He’s got no manners about it if he’s hungry. He cackles every time. Lil’ sh*t.

-he doesn’t get hangry, he gets deprungry. Depressed hungry. He just sort of curls up to conserve energy on instinct so you have to remind him to eat something for a while after he moves in.

-not actually much of a snacker, more of a “multiple small meals” kinda guy. Hummus and pita chips is actually something he likes a lot, interestingly.

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Gremlin energy for how big he is. Ridiculous. Also I’m coining the term deprungry.