#awishwee

The sight of Tadashi’s messy bedhead was the first sign to Cass that he did not sleep well. Dark, baggy circles under his eyes and a prolonged yawn confirmed it. She was hoping that his sleeping patterns were improving, but there’s been no change since her two nephews recently moved in.

Of course, she understood Tadashi’s heartache. Completely. Their parents died in a tragic, unexpected way. No kid should ever have to go through the events they’ve endured. Receiving news that they got into a car accident. Learning that they both passed away on impact. The last few weeks have been busy to say the least.

Naturally, adjusting to a new home life hasn’t been the easiest. Hiro occasionally whined about wanting to go home. Tadashi constantly reminded him that they couldn’t and that their aunt’s home is where they lived. The elder sibling tried not to let his growing impatience shine through at the cries for wanting mom or dad continued. Hiro was only three afterall. He was far too young to fully understand the concept of death. Still, telling his little brother that their parents were gone and could never come back left a nagging pang in Tadashi’s chest.

As for Tadashi, he was old enough to understand death. He knew that death meant his parents were gone forever. He just wished he could have done something. There were no proper goodbyes or warning of this incident. One minute, everything was normal. Now...everything has changed. He didn’t have his parents anymore. He didn’t have his mother’s cooking or goodnight hugs. He didn’t have his father to watch TV with or play sports with on his day’s off of work. He didn’t have the home he was used to.

It’s not that he didn’t enjoy being in his aunt’s home. He loved to visit her. But this was no visit. This was a permanent living situation that he just hadn’t grown accustomed to quite yet. There was a lot that still needed to sink in. Getting used to his new home was one thing, but accepting the fact that he could never be with his parents again? That would take some time.

He didn’t talk much about his feelings though. There were moments where Tadashi would voice that he misses his parents, but having conversations with him was limited. When Cass asked him questions, he gave short answers. She’s never seen her nephew so quiet before. Yet, pushing him is the last thing she wants to do. Making sure he’s comfortable and taken care of had become her main priority.

“Are you enjoying breakfast?” She asked them both.

Naturally, Hiro gave an excited response, continuing to eat his scrambled eggs. She was hopeful for a similar reaction from Tadashi. Unfortunately, she only got a nod, followed by him taking a small bite and chewing slowly. For the last week, Tadashi went from finishing half his plate to all of it. While she was thrilled to see him eating more, she wished he was doing so at a faster pace.

“You finish your plate, Hiro?” She asked her younger nephew, suppressing a giggle upon seeing a few bits of food stuck to his face. She reached for a napkin, wiping his face clean. “Nice work, kiddo. How are you doing, Tadashi?”

Still looking at his plate, he shrugged. “Doing alright.” He took another small bite.

Cass looked at him with a sad smile. She wanted to do so much for him, but she didn’t know what he needed. Raising kids on her own was proving to be no walk in the park, but she’s been loving every second of it so far. “If you want to be done, you can,” she told him, slightly upset that Tadashi took his plate over to the sink immediately after.

She was so thankful that today wasn’t a school day. Tadashi could spend the day at home -- well here. He still had yet to think of this place as his home. Maybe he could spend this weekend catching up on some much needed rest.

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Instead of getting to relax like his aunt had strived for him to do, Tadashi spent the rest of his morning and afternoon playing with Hiro. Although, that wasn’t a bad option. It seemed like Tadashi acted most like himself when he hung out with his brother. He smiled and laughed; the sorrow of recent events only lingering in the back of his mind.

He wished he could be more like Hiro in this case. For the most part, the younger Hamada was able to adapt to their new home. Naturally, he had his moments where he asked for his parents and wondered if they’d ever see them again. He always hoped for the answer to change, but easily got over being told the same thing. Why did this have to be so hard for him? For both of them?

Hiro put his action figure down, a slight frown forming across his face. “‘Dashi?” He said in a quiet voice.

The sudden change of mood had Tadashi on instant alert. “What is it, Hiro?” He held his breath, hoping that everything was okay.

The elder boy was in shock with how quickly Hiro’s mood had changed. One minute, he was smiling as he played with his toys. The next, he was curling into himself with glassy eyes. “I...I miss Mommy and Daddy.” A single tear found its way down Hiro’s cheek and onto the floor.  

On instinct, Tadashi wrapped his arms around Hiro’s smaller form. His fingers made small circles on the back of Hiro’s head. He brought Hiro in closer to his hold, the grip on his brother now tighter. Tadashi wanted nothing more than to make Hiro’s pain go away. Even if that meant pushing away his own sadness, he was willing to do it. He had to be strong for his little brother. He had to be there for him, especially now.

“I-I know you do,” Tadashi whispered. “I miss them too.”

He’s not sure why that last part had slipped out. Maybe it was because it felt good to say it out loud. Or maybe letting Hiro know that he’s not alone with his own feelings. Nonetheless, he was glad he said it, because Hiro began to relax. What small amount of tears that flowed freely had stopped. His body, now sprawled out, was leaning in to Tadashi’s touch. Hiro had definitely become for dependent on Tadashi since the accident, but he didn’t mind that. Tadashi needed him too.

“Boys…” The siblings looked up to see their aunt walking towards them. Neither of them knew how long she was watching them, but apparently it was long enough. Next thing they knew, her arms were around both of them. She squeezed onto her nephews with all her strength. “I’m so sorry that this hasn’t been easy on you,” she began. She released the embrace, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. “I understand how you feel. I miss your parents very much. I know this must be a lot for you both to deal with. I just want you to know that you don’t have to go through this alone. You have each other and you have me. I may not be your mom or dad, but...I love you two with all my heart.”

It took everything in Cass not to cry as she said those final words. Seeing her nephews hurting brought so much distress. What hurt the most was knowing their pain and feeling it herself, but not knowing what to do for them. She wasn’t as motherly as she wanted to be for them. She couldn’t give them the one thing they both wanted. All she could hope for was that she would be enough for them now.

“If you ever want to talk about your parents or how you feel, you can talk to me. We’re a family and there’s nothing to hide between us.” She said that to both of them, but Tadashi couldn’t help, but feel that comment was meant more for him.

Cass examined Tadashi’s face, seeing that the circles under his eyes had yet to fade. “You didn’t sleep well last night, huh?”

He shook his head, a heavy sigh following right after. “I kept thinking about them,” he admitted, a strange feeling of relief overcoming him. “I miss them, Aunt Cass.”

With a soft, sad smile, Cass moved the hand from Tadashi’s shoulder to his back. She rubbed small circles in an attempt to comfort him. “I know, honey. It’s okay to miss them.”

She placed gentle kisses on top of both of their foreheads, earning a smile from her nephews. “Why don’t you take a nap, sweetie? I’ll play with Hiro for a little while.”

Hiro shouted with glee, obviously happy to have someone to play with. As much as Tadashi wanted to continue on with the rest of the day, he couldn't deny how much he needed some sleep. He’s been having trouble keeping his eyes open for half the day.

He gladly accepted the offer to get some much needed rest. Cass watched him walk upstairs, her smile growing wider seeing pep return in his step. Moving forward was certainly going to take time. It didn’t matter to her if it would be weeks, months or even years for this new lifestyle to feel normal. As long as they had each other, everything would end up being okay.

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