#avoiding arguments

Not a recipe--you’re on your own there. But here are two ways to deal with Uncle Biggit when he says something deliberately provocative.

If you’re hosting: “More turkey, Uncle B? Anyone? More gravy? More stuffing?” or “Oh--gotta go check on the pies!”

If you’re not, ask a question, NOT a provocative question like “What about X then?” or “Where in the world do you get your crazy ideas?” but a real one: “Why do you believe that life begins at conception?” “Do you think trump sometimes says things that aren’t true?”

Don’t get excited. If you know you will, then don’t engage. Ask a question like “What are the chances it’s going to snow?” or “When does the game start?” or “What are you guys doing for Christmas [Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Festivus...] this year?” or “Could you pass the cranberries?”

And if you can’t do that either, refuse to engage. “I don’t want to talk politics.” Period. Then just smile and change the subject, every single time.

2 January 19: Four of Cups & Five of Clubs reversed & Six of Swords reversed

Do we have to talk about it? I don’t know, do we? If it doesn’t turn into a pissing match, yes. Only then can we all move on, and possibly even move on together anew.

The 4 of Cups is a card of being dissatisfied with life in general. Cups (of the suit of Water, Pisces/Cancer/Scorpio) represent hearts, emotions, and people but the human sitting cross-legged under a tree is not impressed by nor…

The canard about "It's scientifically impossible for bumblebees to fly" is one I struggle to respond to. The person repeating it is communicating

"I like mystery"

"I like inspiration"

"scientists don't know everything"

"I am going to work my ____ off today"

…and I don't want to play the pedant. (Nor do I want to smile & nod.) I think my new response is going to be to ask them to bring up this ultra-slo HD video of bumblebees flying, bypass the arguing phase, and watch the awesomeness of this tiny beast.

We all have to let off steam sometimes. It's okay. You cannot hold in so much anger and passion inside for too long or you might burst into an angry rage at someone who doesn't deserve it--like the woman who accidentally knocks your shoulder with her big bag on the train. Don't let things like that happen if you can help it. I'm not saying you deserve to get hit in the shoulder while getting off the 3 train, but some arguments can be avoided. 

And that same morning after getting hit in the shoulder with that woman's bag, there was also your coworker who blamed you for leaving the lights on when you left when you remembered turning them off before you left and later in the day there's the client who won't stop nagging you about something stupid and your boss telling you she couldn't give you overtime for working late the other week. Hopefully this doesn't sound too familiar because that day just sounds like it sucks. 

But when you get home and there's nobody asking too much of you (for the moment) and all you want to do is curl up in your bed and watch TV--do something that will make you feel better. 

There are many things you can do, like take a nice, long shower or putting your anger into a regrettable attempt to troll on a blog/Youtube/Facebook/whatever else you'd think to troll. Or you can take this suggestion: 

Take a walk or a ride to a park or wooded area or open field where there are minimal or hopefully no people. And just scream profanities into the air at the top of your lungs. Think of all the people who annoyed you throughout the day/week/month/year/life and imagine you are screaming at them. Yell at a rock or a tree. Punch some leaves. But most importantly just curse a lot. 

I did this with a past girlfriend and it really helped me cope through the problems I was having. Actually, it was her idea to scream in the park but then it was my idea to scream profanities--so thanks to her for this one. If you can find someone who is willing to do this with you, go ahead, that just makes it more fun. But if you can't that's okay. 

Scream things like: 

You motherfucking asshole!

Shut the fuck up, shitface! 

Fuck off, dickhead! 

And if you don't want to scream any of those, just scream words or sounds until your lungs can't take it anymore and your face turns blood red. 

This will help you cope for the night, but is not a long term coping mechanism. Maybe the next day you will feel better when you see the people you targeted your foul-mouthed yelling at. And that's good for the meantime, but you're going to want to find other ways to let off steam. 

And remember...

Keep on fucking coping, you fucking fuckitty fuckers!

Or, better yet...