How does one curate positive events?
Has anyone told you that ADHDrs have event driven emotions. Positive events motivate us. And that taking an assessment is a massive positive event. It's what caused mine to return .. your just having trauma based ADHD. Fix the trauma and the symptoms will go away. ... Well, I did, and the ADHD symptoms didn't go away. But, I learned how to curate positive events and am managing my symptoms a lot better now.
So, here is how I curate positive events in the now, curate them in the future, and identify negative events.
A positive event is an event, a task, a thought, or a feeling .. like getting a massage, or eating your fav food, or watching your fav tv series. A positive event will make you want more. The reason is that a positive event activates our dopamine seeking behaviors. hat's why we hyper focus on something for hours at a time, or not at all.
To curate positive events, means you have to actively engaged in looking for them. Like Curating paintings for an Asian art meusem. You don't have a painting of king Arthur in an Asian collection. Maybe Marco Polo, but not king Arthur.
So, when you actively curate a lot of positive events, it's easy to spot when our inner monologue generates a negative event (thought). We can stop it, and toss it out, and quickly replace it w another positive event.
When ever is see an event coming in the future that looks negative .. I can use risk management and psychology to try to change it.
Ex .. you want to rent a nice apartment, but need a co signer.
In these instances, I will try to reframe the issue that will have the negative event.
Ex .. the co signer may say no.
An ADHDr w RSD will experience a total meltdown before asking anyone to be a co signer. Which brings us to the next step, can I remove the need for the co signer? Or, another step from risk management, ... Are there other friends I could ask to be a co signer / or is there another way to secure the apt w o a co signer?
All of these steps are there specifically to identify future negative events and devise ways to resolve them into positive events.
I should clarify how to identify a negative event .. you will avoid it. Also know, some events happen that are not under your control .. car crashes, upset tummies, childhood trauma, bosses who are A-Holes.
Avoidance behavior is can be as subtle as not looking at something (eye aversion) or as blatant as saying .. NO! .. When you begin to recognize and understand the subconscious ways you avoid tasks, people, places, and things. You will also see how it activates old memories and starts a negative inner monologue.
While you can't change these negative events that have happened to you in the past, you can choose not to relive them again. ( I tell myself that I'm no longer there. I'm here! ) The interesting part w data driven systems .. aka our minds ... New events make the old events less relevant. You, like me, probably hit your thumb or stubbed your toe one or more times during your life. But, it doesn't hold the emotional weight now that it did back then.
