#avlis-is-here

I've been obsessed with the party me and my besties have been playing with

We smile and grind our teeth away Good luck forgot to call our names Good god Tortured, but no one leads the way Force-fed like rats inside a maze Good god Lucky us, lucky us, lucky us

Even if my brain can’t remember, my body knows what you did that day. 

It knows about the way you twisted my words and the way you made me an accomplice, the way that you had been poisoning me for so long that I never even had the chance to throw it up. It knows.

I pretend not to feel the burn of the scars you left me with, on this body you touched and left to rot, but it never goes away. All I want to do is scream, and yell, and howl about the ways you've used me and that no one will ever know. But I hide, and lie, and smile through the agony that everyday hurts me so. "I was a child" - I repeat to myself - "It's not my fault", but for years I've been scalding my skin and scrubbing it vigorously in the hopes of washing away the stench you marked me with.