#avengersau

He shrugs, twisting his hand easily in her grip to wrap his fingers around hers. “Changed my mind.”

There’s a cheekiness to his gaze – and a brilliant hue to his crystal blue eyes – that she recognizes immediately. It’s the same vague, teasing look he gives his daughter whilst telling her that dinosaurs used to keep sabretooth tigers at pets… and made wooly mammoths use their tusks to clean their litter boxes. Or when he insists that ice cream for breakfast is against the law, and he’s keeping her out of jail by giving her waffles instead.

It’s a look Annie’s had directed her way a time or two as well, the playful flash in his features doing more to set her ablaze than just about anything else – save maybe seeing him slide out from under a car, covered in grease and sweat. Those moments when he sneaks up behind her while she’s washing dishes, gives her a swift and startling slap on the ass that every time causes her to nearly jump out of her skin? There’s that glint burning in his gaze as she turns to coyly chide him. Or when she bemoans being tired after a long day and a late night, only to feel his fingers trail slowly up her thigh, setting her flesh to tingle and singe? Sure enough, when she rolls over in bed, it’s that look she’s met with, impish anticipation painting his features.

It’s a look that has already become adored and craved by her. And freely given by him. A gesture, an unspoken admittance of affection that – in just these few short months – has managed to work its way into a new, shared vernacular.

She steps closer to Bucky, the slowly setting sun beating harshly on her back as she presses herself to his chest. “What if I change my mind about coming home with you tonight?” she asks with a sly smile, eyes fluttering flirtatiously up at him. “I mean, if I go in there alone, chances are, I’ll find some handsome, rich man and go home with him instead. Let him whisk me away in his Ferrari.”

Her mere presence coupled with the unseasonably warm temperature causes sweat to build beneath his collar, and he reaches up with his free hand to tug at the suffocating tie. “If he’s got a Ferrari, I can’t blame you,” he breathes out casually. “Go for it.” He drops his palm down to her hip, taking in the cool silkiness of her dress. “But you’re not gonna find anyone in there more handsome than me.”

She pulls back with a sudden – utterly enchanting, he can’t help but think – laugh and slaps him in the chest. “Cocky much?”

He merely wiggles his brows at her, earning an eyeroll – amid a beautifully dimpled smile – in response.

“C’mon,” she breathes out then, spinning round and twining her fingers with his before setting off towards the celebration. “You’re my officially RSVPed plus one. There’s no backing out now. It’s the law.”

He bites back a short chuckle, lets out instead a rumbling growl, but easily relents just the same, this time allowing himself to be pulled forward towards the massive gardens ahead. “I don’t know any of these people,” he whines pathetically, plodding behind her with heavy feet.

“You know me. And Tony,” she supplies, forging on without casting a glance back at him.

He rolls his eyes restlessly. “Last time I saw your boss, he was practically dusting for prints in my garage.”

“So dramatic,” she mocks thickly, accepting a program from one of the ushers as they enter the sprawling garden. She stops short once inside, Bucky very nearly ramming into her from behind. “It looks amazing,” she lets out in a low, astonished tone, the very tenor of which shoots a wide grin across Bucky’s face. She spins to look at him, her eyes inadvertently ticking round to take in more details of their surroundings. The lush, green topiaries looming on all sides. The big, beautiful lilies and orchids encircling the seating area. The perfectly placed fairy lights streaming from the tall trees. The giant pergola up front where a terribly well-dressed justice of the peace is already stoically standing. “This is exactly like what Pepper requested,” she mutters delightedly. “She must be so happy!”

He tugs her off to the side – out of the way – as more people stream in. “Well, it is her day, right?”

Annie nods, small hum spilling from her lips as she turns and drags him off towards the pristine white chairs, marching ever closer to the pergola at the front. “Tony said that if I sit any further back than the third row, I’m fired,” she tells him when his heels begin to dig in yet again.

And again, he yields, a deep, rather comic frown pulling on his face as they lightly push their way through the other guests. “So Stark is the bridezilla,” he mutters, no question to his voice.

She leads him into the seats, across a few already sitting – oddly familiar-looking – people before plopping down with a huff. “Ugh,” she drones, completely ignoring his comment and instead straightening her skirt beneath her before letting out a long, weary sigh alongside the very simple utterance, “It is hot.”

“You’re hot?” He turns on her with wide eyes, tugging once more at his tie, trying – and failing – to slide the sleeves of his suit jacket up his forearms for just a little air. “If they say anything more than just I do, I might freakin’ melt out here.”

A soft, clever smile rolls across her face. “But you’ll look good while you do it,” she says, reaching up to flatten his lapel before giving a single, terse nod. “I like you in a suit.”

He lets out a small scoff. “Don’t get any ideas, doll.”

“Any ideas?” she intones, grin only growing. “We’re at a wedding, Buck. I’m getting all sorts of ideas.”

His eyes blow wide for the briefest of moments, mouth falling agape and head cocking towards her as an anxious trilling buzzes through his brain. But then he sees the teasing turn to her lips, the tightness in her jaw as she works to hold in a bout of laughter. And he releases a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding as an exasperated, “Very funny,” slips from his lips.

The bright, airy chuckle she’d been holding so tightly to spills out, her fingers dropping to splay wide over his knee. “Relax. I promise I won’t propose to you at the end of the night.”

His face drops, and along with it, his voice. “Might not mind you proposing certain things,” he mutters with a shrug.

A quick bark of a laugh has his eyes veering automatically back up at her, locking onto her mirthful gaze. “Fine,” she eases out after the giggles begin to fade. “Maybe I’ll propose something.” Then she shifts in her seat, turning towards him, her face mere inches from his. Her eyes take on a somewhat solemn quality as she tells him, voice dropping nearly a full octave, “I’m not one of those super-sentimental, sappy girls who’s going to get all weepy just because we’re at a gorgeous wedding.” Her eyes tick over to the waiting pergola, a wistful air wrapping around her tone. “Or because I genuinely love the two people getting married. Or because,” she looks back at him, something clenching and burning deep in her core as she catches his bright blue eyes. “Because I love the fact that you actually came here with me.”

A tight breath hisses between his teeth. “Jesus, doll. You keep looking at me like that, you might just turn me into one of those super-sentimental, sappy girls,” he tells her before throwing an arm over her shoulder – despite the heat – and settling back with her body nestled close to his.

000

In the weeks following what had since been dubbed FLU: Revenge of the Toilet, Annie and Bucky had not only grown closer, but more… solid.

That rather rough Wednesday night – when everything seemed to go wrong and all of their insecurities were laid bare – had been a bit of a turning point in their relationship. Looking back, both of them would likely say that it was, in fact, the beginning of their relationship. Before that night, they were dating. They were two people who talked and laughed and hung out… and were – undeniably, categorically – attracted to one another. But after, they became so much more.

For Annie, the defining aspect of that evening – the thing that convinced her they were about to head down a new path together – was simply the fact that Bucky had pushed. He forced a conversation about whether or not she could handle his messy life, felt the need to because – I really like you – he was beginning to see a place for her in his future. That, coupled with the fact that he never asked her to leave, clearly never wanted her to leave, served to quiet Tony’s well-intentioned warning – You’ll never come first, you know – that always seemed to linger in the back of her mind.

Maybe that would still be true at times. Maybe it should be true, especially when the one she’d be competing against for that top spot was a four-year-old girl. But in that moment – that night – Bucky had made it abundantly clear that she was his priority.

Needless to say, she had stayed the night after all. After a rather intense and achingly long make out session that resulted in swollen lips, a bit of beard-burn, and a broken coffee maker; a quick everything’s good here check-in phone call from Steve and Natasha; and too much lukewarm Indian food, Annie ended up coiled around Bucky’s hulking form, breathless in his bed, sweaty sheets sticking to naked flesh as her exhausted body drifted off to sleep. It was blissful and hot, and above all else, it just felt… right.

The next morning, on the other hand, wound up being less than stellar. She woke cold and alone, sprawled atop an otherwise empty bed, pulled from her slumber by the muffled sounds of retching emanating from behind the closed bathroom door.

She cared for Bucky that day – much to his chagrin – helped him shower and dress, cleaned his toilet, even ran to the store to stock up on Gatorade and ginger ale. And she allowed him to care for her as well – to come and fetch her and take her home, clean her up and keep her hydrated – when she blew chunks all over her desk at work two days later.

And that is what became the defining moment for Bucky.

It had all been a somber sign of things to come. Sickness. Hardship. Going to bed on cloud nine and waking the next morning with a faceplant to the dirty ground. It was all the things that he’d been afraid might happen. Burdening Annie with the cumbersome task of caring for a stubborn patient – I see where Lana gets it now – and the painful domesticity it bore. Having to do the same for her, just looking at her pale skin and hooded eyes, wiping the sweat from her brow, all the while knowing she was sick because of him. Having to break plans – the first plans they managed to make that didn’t involve chicken soup and Netflix – when a rather green-looking Natasha brought Svetlana over two days early because Steve’s horrendous retching was making the little girl cry.

But they made it through just fine. It was oddly easy, in fact… easier than he ever expected it to be. Caring for one another. Wanting to care for one another. It had been too damn easy.

If he were to be completely, unabashedly honest, Bucky would have to admit that this degree of ease… of comfort and simplicity – because that’s really what it is, isn’t it? Just a bizarrely uncomplicated, effortless sensation? – was not something he’d ever had with any other woman before. Even with Nat – whom he’d loved long before Lana came along, though admittedly not in the way that allowed two people to forge a life together – it had never been easy. She was strong and independent and wholly her own person. Her strength reeled him in and turned him on. But it also terrified him. Still does. Showing any vulnerability in front of Natasha Romanov – despite her telling him repeatedly that she can see right through his cocky façade – is not a thing he has ever been willing or able to do.

And with other woman too, he’s only ever allowed a certain side of himself – or perhaps a select few sides – to be glimpsed. More often than not, he’s shown them the charming, self-assured smile, imbued every movement, every word with the seemingly subtle confidence that he could see turned them to mush. But never, that he can recall, had he shared with them his struggles. No, instead he’d wear that charm like armor, a beguiling indifference that got him laid while still keeping his heart safe. And after Lana was born, once he realized his heart had become even more precious – more full and seemingly fragile now that his baby girl lay inside – an utter air of detachment was added on as an extra, thicker layer of protection.

He’d tell women about himself – what he did for a living, where he grew up. He’d share with them that he loved cars, loved screwball comedies, loved his daughter more life itself. He’d let them into his home and his bed. But his heart – and most of what made him truly him – was simply off limits.

He never really realized how much of his time was spent walking on eggshells around the women in his life, cautiously selecting which pieces of information to reveal, which parts of himself – if any – to lay bare. He’d never realized quite how hard it had been to be himself… to be real and genuine and – God help him – vulnerable with women.

Until Annie came along and made things so damn easy.

000

The music is surprisingly… intense. For a wedding reception, at least. The not-so-subtle beats of AC/DC and Metallica permeating the air for a good hour or so before slowly tapering off into some more appropriate rock ballads. “Tony got to choose the tunes for the cocktail hour,” Annie whispers to him with a smirk. “Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.”

But for Bucky, the predetermined cocktail hour expands well into the post-dinner lull, his general wariness of large crowds and unease with small talk driving him to keep his hands and lips busy with drinks for as long as humanly possible. He gets it down to a science… sip easily at the watered-down drink in his hand to keep from having to say more than a few words to any of Annie’s overeager – borderline neurotic – coworkers. Then slip back over to the bar, taking his sweet-ass time to get a refill.

He’s on his fifth lap now, taking a break to sit at the far corner of the open bar. He watches from afar – head ducked, fleeting smile stifled – as Annie laughs and talks and mingles with a handful of work friends, her kind eyes ticking his way every few moments in quiet – easy – reassurance. And with each tender glance he feels a new wave of adoration wash over him, a steadily undulating current that both buoys him and threatens to drown him in the depths.

“You’re drinking the cheap shit,” he hears from over his shoulder. His hand grips the crystal tumbler of bourbon a little tighter as he slowly spins on the stool, raising a brow at the suspiciously unaccompanied center of attention. Tony ticks his chin toward his glass before calling the bartender over and saying simply, “Break out the Pappy Van Winkle.”

“The what?” Bucky asks, his eyes following the bartender’s cautious steps as he makes his way around to the back of the bar, throwing furtive glances over his shoulder as he goes.

Tony rolls his eyes and lets out a small grunt before dropping into the seat beside him. “Stupid name, wholeheartedly agree.” He tugs at his bowtie, unfurling it in one quick swipe and flinging it down atop the mahogany bar. “But it’s the best. Or…” he shrugs. “One of the best. Don’t worry, you’ll like it.”

Bucky’s eyes narrow – not unkindly, but certainly suspiciously – as he watches the bartender return with two tumblers and a bottle that his fingers curl around as though it were the freaking holy grail. “Shouldn’t you be out there mingling with all your high-society guests?” he asks once they’re left alone with their drinks.

Tony raises his glass, holding it high with an expectant sort of impatience. “C’mon,” he mutters fitfully. “I just married the love of my life. Toast me.”

The corner of Bucky’s mouth quirks up into an amused grin, a quick snort of a chuckle spilling out as he brings the bourbon up and clinks Tony’s glass. “Congratulations,” he deadpans, the smallest gleam in his eye revealing the depth of his sincerity.

“Thank you.” Tony pulls back and sips at his drink, a look of pure comfort spilling across his face as his Adam’s apple bobs.

Bucky brings the bourbon to his lips – slowly, cautiously – and lets the amber liquid slide inside, coating his tongue, his throat, his soul in the most delicious burn possible. “Damn,” he breathes out, staring wide-eyed at the drink in his hand. A delicate trace lingers as he swipes his tongue along his bottom lip, head shaking slowly. “Damn.”

Tony chuckles under his breath. “Probably shouldn’t have introduced you to good ole Pappy,” he declares. “Like sending someone who’s only ever flown coach across the ocean on a private jet.”

“I’d settle for business class,” he smarts with a frown.

Tony nods, another small chortle spilling out of him. He takes another sip and cheats out on his stool, gazing across the large dancefloor in front of them until his eyes light on the tall strawberry blonde, dripping with white silk, a glass of champagne in her left hand that sets a sparkling backdrop for the platinum band clinking delicately against it. “Nah,” he mutters, grin growing as he watches his new wife throw her head back in a carefree, delightful bout of laughter. “Why settle when you can have the best?”

Bucky’s shoulders pull into a quick shrug, his gaze sweeping out to find the object of Tony’s attention before returning to settle on the drink in his hand. “Not everyone can afford the best,” he mutters a bit under his breath.

Tony turns to him with a disappointed glare. “You do realize I’m not actually talking about bourbon, right?” He lets out a long, exasperated sigh and settles in, placing his glass on the bar and leaning close to the man beside him. “She’s ruined you, hasn’t she? Annie,” he clarifies when Bucky’s brows curl in confusion. “Can’t go back to the cheap shit after getting a taste of her. Am I right?”

Something akin to a growl pulls from his chest, his jaw ticking tightly to the side. “Don’t talk about tasting my girlfriend.”

And Tony just laughs. Loudly. Haughtily. Slapping Bucky on the shoulder as he goes. “Relax, will ya?” he chokes out before swallowing down the snickers. He shakes his head with a fond sort of amusement. “Metaphor, Barnes.”

“Yeah,” he mumbles, hint of agitation still in his voice as he brings the glass back to his lips and lets the liquor wash away the remnants of his irritation.

“I was watching you before,” he states simply, mirthful eyes still trained on the rather uncomfortable looking man before him. “The way you look at her, eyes following her around like a little puppy dog.”

Bucky’s lips press tightly together into a small snarl.

“I’m a genius, you know,” he lets out vapidly before giving a quick shrug and reaching up to pop open the top button of his starched, white collar. “Doesn’t take a genius to see what I saw, though.”

“Oh, yeah?” Bucky bites out, perhaps a bit harsher than intended. “What’s that?”

A smug smile, a stifled laugh, a short, incredulous snort… that’s all the answer he really needs. But Tony says it anyway, never one to pass up the opportunity to be heard. “You’re smitten. Intoxicated. You’ve had the Pappy and – you’ve gotta admit – nothing’s been sweeter, smoother… easier going down.”

He flashes him a stunned look, his stare reflecting something between confusion and accusation. And his lips part, jaw popping open to emit nothing but dumbfounded silence.

“Love’s a good thing,” Tony tells him, his voice light and airy, flitting atop a soft laugh. “Annie is a damn good… thing,” he finishes, frown forming as he realizes what he said. But he shakes it off, a look of you know what I mean flashing Bucky’s way. “She tell you about the promotion?” he asks, curiosity lacing his tone.

Bucky sputters a bit, the swift change in topic causing him to reel. “Uh,” he thinks. Promotion… promotion. “Yeah,” he utters finally, once his brain catches up. “Yeah. Something about… operations…” He shakes his head. “Or operational… something.”

Another snort of a laugh. “Operations manager for our new Innovative Tech Division.” He shakes his head with an almost annoyed air. “Up and comers are the worst. They all think they’re the hottest shit, each of their ideas the most… innovative. I find them… exhausting.” He narrows his eyes pensively. “Actually I find them to be the most irritating little shits on the planet.” He issues out a quick scoff and downs the rest of his drink before returning his gaze to Bucky. “Annie says they’re too much like me and that’s why I hate them. But I don’t buy that. I love me.” He shrugs. “Anyway… figured she could go unleash some of that insight on them. Help them all get their shit together and function like a team. Or, hell, I’d settle for just function.”

Bucky lets out a soft snicker, crooked smile blooming. “Want her to clean up more of your messes,” he muses thickly, taking another pull of bourbon.

Tony flattens him with an uncharacteristically serious stare. “It’s what makes us a good team.” He turns on his stool to bodily face the man before him, brows knitting tightly as a contemplative expression washes over his face. “I can only function in a world tempered with chaos… need it to be able to find the answers that just swirl around in the air. I make messes. It’s part of my process. Annie, she likes to… clean things up. Organize them. Fix them. She’s good at it too.”

Bucky’s lips pinch tightly together, his head slowly bobbing in a pensive nod as a sudden swell of doubt rises in his gut. “She likes order,” he says, almost to himself.

“Nah,” Tony mutters. “She just knows that sometimes order is what you need to make things more… palatable for others.” Bucky’s brows twist tightly together, utter befuddlement tugging at his features. Tony stifles a laugh as he catches the look. “What she likes is the mess. Because it gives her something to fix. She likes the challenge.”

“The challenge,” he repeats, his shoulders deflating, head drooping. “Great. Just what every guy wants to hear… I’m a challenge to be around,” he murmurs under his breath.

“Give her some credit,” Tony mutters drolly, pulling Bucky from his haze. “If she didn’t want to be challenged, she’d shack up with one of the boring-ass intellectuals down in accounting. Lord knows enough of them have tried. She saw your ramshackle little garage, saw you racing all over the place to fix things…”

“My garage isn’t ramshackle,” he interrupts with a frown.

“Every time I went in there the place was overbooked, you had some new project going on – ”

“You brought me those projects,” he defends a bit heatedly.

Tony merely shrugs. “Tools and grease everywhere,” he goes on. “A business partner who comes and goes as he pleases. Some teenager trying not to break shit in the back…”

“Hey, Peter’s a good kid.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I know. I’ve heard.” He stares Bucky down, his deep brown eyes holding a steely edge. “Barnes, I have heard everything about you. About how great you are with early model fuel-injection systems. How generous your are with your regulars… working out financing and payment plans and other nonsense that’s just gonna land you in the poorhouse. How patient you are with working around other people’s schedules. How wonderful you are with your kid,” he finishes with another overdone roll of his eyes. “Yeah, you got a little bit of chaos surrounding you,” he goes on with a tender note. “And she likes that.”

“You’re saying she likes me because my life’s a mess,” he mutters, only a hint of a question to his voice. “She wants something to fix.”

“Your skull really that thick?” he asks with a raised brow. “I know you’re not a genius like some people…” Bucky rolls his eyes and snorts, both actions being completely ignored by Tony as he goes on to say, “You fix cars. She fixes people. You clean up after a kid. She cleans up after me. You hold together a complicated little family unit, work to make it, well, work. She’s about to do the same with a group of arrogant young prodigies. She’s not trying to fix you. She’s not looking to be challenged by you. Barnes, you idiot… she wants to be challenged with you.”

000

As the party slows, the night growing long and stretching out towards its inevitable end, Bucky finally leaves the bar and returns to their table. The other Stark Industries’ workers that had been surrounding them before, smothering Bucky with their enthusiastic welcomes and long-winded inside jokes that drove him to the silent corner of the bar to begin with, had all filtered off to either take over the dancefloor or simply retire for the night. It’s only Annie now, a vision in pale pink, the loose curls around her face coiling tightly at her temples due the unseasonable humidity. She rests heavily in her seat at the empty table, head propped on her fist as her eyes trail along the smaller – yet still substantial – crowd before her. The sweetest smile rests on her lips as she placidly watches people dance, laugh, talk, and just be.

Bucky flops down in the chair beside her, scooting a plate piled high with two different types of cake and a heaping scoop of fruit covered in chocolate sauce – because apparently there had been a chocolate fountain sitting at yet another dessert buffet on the opposite side of the room all night – over between them. Her smile grows into an excited, toothy grin as she accepts the proffered fork and stabs through the mountain of sugar, trying to capture all of the sweet treats into a single bite.

“Finally get tired of keeping yourself sequestered?” she asks just before popping the fruit-laden cake into her mouth.

He lets out a small chuckle and spears a chocolatey strawberry with his own fork. “Kinda backfired on me,” he murmurs, swiping his tongue around some of the dripping chocolate. “Your boss found me.”

She laughs indelicately, almost snorting around the massive bite of dessert as she chews and effortfully swallows it down. “Yeah,” she says with a nod. “I saw.” Her fork returns for another serving, playfully batting his away to get at a plump blueberry sitting atop a mass of vanilla buttercream. “Could’ve been worse. Gary from accounting found his way over here.” Her head drops dramatically back, a mocking – and loud – snore pulling from somewhere deep in her chest alongside a theatrical moan. “Sooooo boring.”

Bucky can’t help but laugh at that, his wide smile settling into something fond and familiar as he watches her sigh and slouch forward and focus once again on the dessert, taking another too-large bite and leaving a smear of frosting along the corner of her mouth. “You tired?” he asks, reaching down and plucking a naked raspberry from the pile, raising it up to swipe along her lip, using it to clean her mess before he pops it into his mouth with a wink.

She cocks her head at him and grins, eyes crinkling at the edges as she finishes chewing. He reaches out with his thumb to clear off the remnants of icing and chocolate pocking her bottom lip, and she lets her eyes blink slowly shut, head drooping a bit once she swallows. Bucky unfurls his hand, palm opening to easily accept her flushed cheek as she nuzzles into him. “Is that a pickup line?” she asks, leaning over the edge of her seat, gradually fading into his warmth. “You want to put me to bed?”

He laughs – the sound light and airy and wonderfully melodic to her ears – and scoots his chair closer, wraps an arm around her and tugs her casually to his chest. “Maybe.”

Her eyes flit open and take in the twinkling fairy lights above, each tiny, haloed bulb melding masterfully in with the night sky. “Thanks for coming with me tonight, Buck,” she murmurs languidly as her head rolls back along his shoulder.

He lays a chaste kiss atop her head and pulls her a little closer with his left arm, his right hand still absently stabbing at fruit with his fork. “Any time, doll.”

She shifts beside him, turns her head just enough to be able to catch a glimpse of his face. Her eyes shine with something akin to mischief as she says, “I have a friend who’s getting married in December. We went to high school together so everyone I grew up with will be there.” Her eyebrows wiggle almost maniacally, the look equal parts terrifying and endearing.

“Great,” he deadpans, swallowing down a chortle. Then, “Ah, you know what?” oozes out of him in an easy cadence. “Yeah, I think I have Lana that night. Probably can’t make it.”

“I didn’t tell you the date,” she says, blank face just barely cracking as a sneaky smile threatens to tug at her lips.

“Yeah, well,” he breathes out. “I’m a busy guy, you know.”

She scoots a bit closer, her hip splitting his knees apart as she settles in and wraps her arms around his center. “You’re not that busy,” she intones, dropping her face to his chest and letting out a small yawn. “Or did you forget that I updated your calendar myself?”

No, he hadn’t forgotten. He actually – silently – thanks her daily. Every time he gets an alert on his phone… a reminder about swim lessons, soccer practice, a change of days with Lana. Or a notification – complete with embedded heart emoji – telling him exactly where to be and at what time for their date that evening. She had – now that he thinks about it – somehow managed to already calm the inherent chaos in his life, easing the strain of the everyday.

“Hm,” he hums out casually as his fingers weave into her hair. “You know, I’m pretty sure that calendar told me just the other day that Lana’s starting gymnastics next month…”

She pops up excitedly, coming to life in his arms as she presses her palms into his chest and pushes off of him. “I know!” she enthuses, turning a beaming smile his way. “I’m so excited for her!”

The corner of his mouth quirks up, soft chuckle spilling forth. “Well, that’s good, I guess,” he mutters cheerily, all the while shoving down the butterflies that so often burst to life in his gut when she’s around. She’s excited for my baby, he thinks, grin growing wider from just that one thought. “But I was trying to point out that I’m sure I’ll be way too busy for any more weddings.”

Her bottom lip pushes out into a pout, pensive look tugging at her features as her eyes narrow. “Nah,” she says after a moment of seeming contemplation. “We’ll make it work.”

“Oh, we will?” he questions amid a laugh.

She drops back into him, her head colliding with his collarbone and causing a harsh grunt to sound, cutting off his laughter. “Of course we will,” she mumbles into his chest, the sound of her voice muffled but the feel of it edging into him, vibrating through his chest and colliding with his heart.

He squeezes her a little bit tighter, his fingers trailing softly along the bare skin of her neck, swiping down over her shoulder in a delicate trace. He drops his lips to her hair once more, breathes in the now familiar scent of coconut shampoo… smiles when he gets a swift hit of Lana’s lavender detangler too.  

“I think,” he breathes out, low voice slowing trailing off. She curls deeper into him and gives a small hum by way of encouragement. But he doesn’t go on, can’t quite form the sudden, overwhelming thought into a coherent sentence. He releases a long, hot breath into her hair, the statement that had only just cracked forth and dropped through a chink somewhere in his armor now lodging in his throat.

I love you.

She pulls back and gives him a curious, almost worried look. “You want to go home?” she asks, her voice soft, achingly tender.

He offers a fond, closed-lip smile before tugging her back to his chest, nuzzling her close, and tucking her head beneath his chin. I love you. The words are now tickling the very tip of his tongue, smacking ceaselessly atop the roof of his mouth. I love you.

You were living with your sister and her boyfriend for almost a year now. They were helping you with your child, but they were going to get married and you knew you'll have to move out soon. That vision scared you the most, you didn't want to be alone, not after your delivery when you had to deal with it on your own.

You were feeding Andy with baby oatmeal when your sister swung by the kitchen from her room

"Y/N! Would you mind going to the post office? You just have to send these" she handed you bundle, you knew what it was. Invitations to her wedding.

"Sure, after Andy is full we'll send this package. Right partner?" you asked your son rhetorically and he started to giggle, he was such a happy child

"Y/N you don't have to drag him there, I can look after him"

"It's not that far, besides we both could use some fresh air" you watched as your son took his spoon and he tried to feed himself but failed and he ended up with a dirty chin.

~

After 40 minutes you were going back to your flat holding Andy in your arms. Only three blocks away from your place when you saw him and your heart dropped. Your breath hitched and your stomach clenched. Of all the people in the world, it had to be him? You adjusted your son in your arms and you moved forward hoping Bucky wouldn't see you.

You were trying to hide behind your son when you saw Barnes was walking in your direction, Bucky was looking at his phone and you were sure you'll pass him without any problems. But when you were almost 8ft from him Andy squealed when he saw a dog. Bucky lifted his head and his gaze landed on you. You stopped in your tracks. Fuck. Stupid fucking dog ruined everything.

"Y/N?" the way he said your name made you shiver "Hey Bucky, long time no see" he approached you and you could eye him better. He didn't change maybe except for his hair were much shorter. Much, much shorter.

"You tell me" he smiled and you felt your legs were turning into jelly. Bucky looked at Andy and he smiled wider

"Hi little man, how are you?" Andy buried his face in the crook of your neck embarrassed and Bucky chuckled, his laugh was infectious you started to smile as well.

"It's Andy. He's a bit shy around people he doesn't know but he'll open up in his time"

"Hey Andy, nice to meet you" Bucky took Andy's small hand in a handshake and the baby smiled at him. Andy nuzzled his face in your neck once more and Bucky's gaze shifted to you. You weren't wearing his necklace.

"He's your son?" he asked and you nodded "And what about his father? If I may ask" you knew he will be curious and you knew there was no point in lying

"It's just the two of us. His father... Well, we meant nothing to him" you looked at Bucky and you saw in his eyes some kind of pity. God, now he was sorry for you, excellent.

"Oh, I see. How your parents reacted? If I remember right they are pretty strict with everything" his eyes narrowed, you felt like he was investigating you  

"Well they sort of cut me off, I mean my mom was cool with me having a baby but when they found out there was no father they were furious and wanted me to get back with the father but I don’t need that asshole in our lives" you said and a sad smile approached your face

"I'm sorry" was all he said and you knew the longer you spoke with him the larger power he had over you. You didn't want to step into this again, you decided it was time you leave him there and never see him again. He was looking at you with his beautiful eyes, a small smile on his lips.

"I... I... I have to go home, i-it was nice seeing you Buck" you stuttered and started to walk and you moved past him when his voice stopped you

"Y/N! Let me at least walk you home" you turned to see him "It's fine I live not far from here, I really should go, my sister is waiting for me. It was really great running into you, James" you turned around again and you started walking. Bucky was looking at you, you were walking so fast he was sure you'll start running soon. He saw Andy looking at him and the baby in your arms smiled at Bucky. And that was when something broke inside him. He thought that maybe, maybe he was just guessing, but what if he was right? Honking car in a distance put him back into reality and he knew what he had to do. He rushed after you but not close so you wouldn't notice him.    

September 2014

Her lips were addictive. Her whimpers and soft moans were like music to his ears. Bucky thought you were the most wonderful person in the world. He didn't know how he got this lucky, that you agreed on being his distraction. You were so innocent and he managed to ruin you, spoil you, but he knew that one day you'll walk out on him and didn't want this to happen. He had to somehow keep you by his side. You looked happy when he gave you that golden necklace. Maybe he will buy you something nice from time to time.

"Bucky please" you whined and he removed his fingers from your heat. You broke up with your boyfriend and this time he was your distraction. He was kissing your neck, sucking at your skin, marking it. You were coming back from your high and he looked at you, your flushed skin, your hooded eyes and smile on your face when you caught him staring.

"What do you want me to do baby girl?" he asked as he peppered your jawline with kisses. He loved you, he wanted to make you feel so good, he wanted you to feel the same way he did. Bucky moved to your neck and cleavage and you moaned loudly.

"Jesus Barnes just fuck me already" you were desperate, he made you come twice, with his mouths and his fingers but you wanted something more, something bigger, you craved his member.

"Nah, I'm gonna make love to you angel" he said as he situated himself between your legs

"What? Are you getting soft or I didn't hear you properly?" you asked amused and he narrowed his eyes "You know, if it was not for that we have all this no hidden catch and string attached agreement some may think that you caught feelings" you grinned as you were leaning on your elbows on the bed.

"Shut up, I'm gonna make love to you and your gonna fucking love it" he positioned his large cock at your entrance and you gasped. He coated his tip in your juices and then he entered you slowly. Very slow. You arched your back. He looked at the place where you're connected, he moans seeing himself disappearing inside you. He was going slow, unlike any other times you two were fucking. He wanted to make you feel him all, he wanted all of you. Bucky leaned down and kissed you, swallowing your moans. He pulled back and you looked at him with pleading eyes, you knew he will always give you whatever you need, you had him wrapped around your finger but today he was in charge completely. You wanted him to go faster and he knew it but he didn't do anything about it.    

Bucky's thrusts were slow but deep and when he increased his pace you started screaming and clenching on his cock.

"Fuck baby you feel so amazing, so hot and -FUCK- and wet. Y/N look at me I wanna see those big eyes of yours, look at me" you barely managed to open your eyes and when you looked at him you knew you won't last long. You wrapped your legs around his waist tighter giving him an opportunity to go deeper. He kissed you and you moaned against his lips when you felt he was hitting that special spot in your body.

"Fuck! Are you on a pill? Shit! I won't last long" Bucky asked and you could only nod "Y/N touch yourself" he commanded and you obeyed happily, you were chasing your release and you screamed when your fingers made contact with your sensitive bud. You started to move fast your fingers and then it hit you. You cried out and you felt shiver run from your toes through your body, you clenched around Bucky's dick and he groaned but he didn't slow down, you screamed once more and you thought you passed out but then you felt Bucky finishing inside you. Ribbon after ribbon of his semen filled you. He liked coming inside. He enjoyed thought that you had his part inside you. It made him feel kinda proud that you let him do it.

Bucky pulled out of you and he grinned looking at your pussy and then at his abdomen. You followed his gaze and you saw it was wet and sheets beneath you were soaked

"Oh my god!" you yelled in embarrassment but Bucky chuckled and he kissed your cheek "Did my baby just squirted? Not the first time you did that but, fuck, I'll never get tired of seeing it" Bucky kissed you, his tongue entered your mouth and you moaned, he pulled back and he smiled at you caressing your cheek

"Think you can give me one more? That was fucking hot" you covered your face in your hands and he laughed

"Y/N don't be embarrassed, you are the most amazing person I know, honestly" he assured and you nodded and you kissed him tenderly. Bucky got up from the bed and he put on his sweatpants. He grabbed a pack of cigarettes from a night table and he looked at you.

"You coming?" he asked and you shook your head "All right I'll be back in few minutes, better be ready for me when I come back" he leaned over to you and he kissed your cheek, his lips resting there a little too long. You inhaled sharply, you knew that in fact, he had you wrapped around his finger even more.

~

When he came back a few minutes later you were lying against the headboard with a bottle of tequila in your hand. Bucky looked at you a slight shock on his face.

"Sorry" you mumbled but he knew you weren't sorry that you opened the bottle alone, it was something else. He positioned himself next to you on the bed and he took the bottle from your hand, taking a sip he grimaced and then he smiled at you.

"I'm sorry for what I've said" you were looking at your hands, placed on your lap "I shouldn't have say that" you looked over at him "I didn't intend to make you feel uncomfortable" you were just his booty-call nothing more and being in love with him didn't actually help.

"That's okay, you did nothing wrong" he handed you the bottle and you took a sip. He looked at you all this time, his heart was aching, you caught him red-handed, he had feelings for you. So why it was so hard to confess it to you?

"You know what we'll do? We'll empty this bottle and we'll fuck as rough as you want. What do you say?" he asked looking into your eyes. You shook your head and you took a sip from the bottle, making him wait

"No Bucky" you finally said "I want you to make love to me"

June 2018

Bucky was sitting on a bench in a small park, opposite your house. He had a perfect view on your front door; he didn't see you leaving. That was good. Phone in hand Bucky was searching through his old folders with your pictures, you've blocked him on every social media so he wasn't up to date with what was going on in your life. Shit, he didn't even know you had a kid. He stopped on your picture which he took from surprise, you looked so beautiful. He smiled at the thought that this picture was his jerk off material for a long time before everything went to shit. An elderly man who was sitting beside Barnes looked over Bucky's shoulder on his phone

"I know her!" he shouted and Bucky almost jumped "She has a funny name; Belinda? Alverta?" the man was trying to remind himself when Bucky chuckled "It's Y/N, do you know at what number does she live?"

"Yes, right Y/N! I knew it was something like that and I happen to be her neighbor, she lives with her sister at door number 2 in that building" he pointed at your house with his cane.

"She has a child you know? Sweet kid, he reminds me of my grandchildren"

"Did she told you how old is he?" Bucky asked he had to be sure.

“Oh, he's six months old. I remember he was born at the beginning of the year in January" Bucky calculated in his head; January, December, November, October, September, August, July, June, May. She became pregnant in April, likely at the beginning, likely before her 24th birthday. Bucky became pale, he felt his palms were getting more and more sweaty. Little Andy had his eyes and a little dimple in his chin he even looked like Bucky. He got up from the bench, thanked the man and said his goodbyes, elder gentleman wished him good luck and Barnes headed towards your place.

When he was in front of the door with number 2 on, he pinched himself in the arm. It hurt. That was good, he wasn't dreaming. He knocked and waited until the door swung open

"Can I help you?" a tall girl with shoulder-length dark hair was looking at him with suspicion in her eyes. He didn't look like tradesman so where this suspicion came from?

"I need to speak with Y/N, I know she's in here, I've been watching front door, she didn't leave. I have to talk to her" Bucky was more and more impatient, he wanted to speak with Y/N and he assumed your sister was handicapping. He tried to pass her by but she blocked his way

"Whoa, whoa dude! Who the hell are you?!" your sister was holding the door tight

"I know she's in here, so just let me in!" Bucky wanted to push the door open when she held them in place, he didn't want to use fore but she was making him. He was ready to kick them down if he had to.

"What's going on?" you stepped in the view and Bucky looked at you over your sister's shoulder, you saw him and your face dropped

"Why the fuck you didn't tell me you were pregnant?!" he yelled and you turned back, disappearing behind the corner. Bucky passed your sister by and he entered your flat, he headed in a spot when he saw you disappear and he saw you sitting by kitchen's table

"Why didn't you tell me I have a son?! I had a fucking right to know that and you took it away from me! Answer me for fuck's sake!"

"He's not your son!" you hit the table with your hands making some mugs tremble. "You never wanted to have a family! So get the fuck out!"

"I'm not going anywhere! So better prepare your fucking speech before I'll become pissed!" he shouted and you stood up

"GET THE FUCK OUT OFF HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH!" you screamed pointing with your finger at your front door and then you've heard Andy's cries. Your shouts must've woke him. You scooted to your room and you lifted him from his crib. You were rocking him in your arms when you saw Bucky leaning against the door frame

"I'm not going anywhere Y/N and neither do you" his voice was gentle, he didn't want to scare his son even more. Andy looked over at him with tears in his blue eyes and Bucky's heart skipped a bit. He knew he had a son for 20 minutes and he was already head over heels in love with him. Bucky fought with the urge to hold him but he knew you'd never let it happen.

"I'll take Andy for a walk. You should sit and discuss everything. Calmly" your sister long forgotten spoke up and you nodded. Bucky moved from his place and you passed him by. You placed Andy gently in your sister's arms. Saying something to him you kissed his head and both you and Bucky stared as he disappeared with your sister behind the front door. There was a silence but you could cut the tension with a knife.

"He's not your son" you said still looking at the door

"Bullshit" he said and you scoffed walking towards your small living room. "And don't tell me I never wanted to have a family. You asked me about it when I was 25 and broke" he was following you and you turned around, now facing him. It was hard to look at him, you knew you should have told him about pregnancy, he had a right to know but you were stubborn and now innocents were suffering because of your pride.

"What do you want me to say, Buck? huh? That you had your chance with me but you forfeited it? That your girlfriend humiliated me in front of my co-workers? That when I've learned I was pregnant I wanted to have an abortion but I chickened out?That I called you but you never responded? That I wanted to tell you about pregnancy but you were still dating her and I didn't want to step in? Tell me what do you want to hear and I'll tell you everything" you said clenching your hands in fists, tears in your eyes started to boil and you had to look at the ceiling for not to cry.

"I went to your house the other day but they told me you've moved out" he said calmly "I love you Y/N, I really do for almost four years, I was afraid you didn't feel the same and I was silent" you looked at him with disbelief in your eyes "I love you Y/N" he repeated and you knew he was telling the truth. You've always wanted to hear these words coming out of his mouths and a year ago you'd be jumping and screaming from happiness but now; now he was a little too late.

"Sadly I don't. I don't love Bucky. Not anymore" his face dropped, he didn't expect you saying that. He took you for granted. Bucky sat on your couch, his face in his hands. You sat beside him "I loved you from the beginning, for six years but we both knew this couldn't last forever so I kinda decided for both of us. I cut you off, I'm sorry but that was the best solution Bucky and you know it" you placed your hand on his shoulder and he sobbed.

He started to snivel, his voice muffled by his hands. You were sorry for him but you knew that was for the best. He'll be only a name on a child support's check. You didn't want him to spend time with Andy. Being next to Bucky hurt you, he had lost you a long time ago. But you felt sorry for him, you broke his heart but he broke yours first.

He sniffed and you moved closer to him "Bucky..." you started to speak but opening door interrupted you. You both looked at the direction, your sister holding Andy

"I'm so sorry but he vomited on me Y/N and I had to go back" she said and she headed towards your room. You looked at Bucky and you lifted from your place

"I think it's about time you left" you said, you didn't want him to leave but he had to. Bucky stood up and he wiped his eyes, he looked over at your room's door hoping he'll see his son there. When it didn't happen he turned around and headed towards front door never glancing at you. He caught a handle and he stopped like he wanted to say something but then he opened the door and he left. You sat on your couch exhaling, you let tears run down your cheeks when your sister stood in your room's door.

"You know he won't give up on him don't you?" you didn't answer. It was obvious he won’t.