My mother’s authority issues
run in my veins. We both know
that those who want to tell us
how to be, what to be, & where to be,
aren’t worthy of all we have to offer.

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My mother’s authority issues
run in my veins. We both know
that those who want to tell us
how to be, what to be, & where to be,
aren’t worthy of all we have to offer.

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Authority Figure Issues
We know who the boss is. We might not always agree with her, or think she’s making the right decisions, but we understand what to expect. We can make plans based on those expectations. What happens when a new boss is appointed, without notification? We arrive at work, same as always, to find a new placard on the office door. Sharon is gone, replaced by Tiffany. Who is…
If someone isn’t trying to be a firm but gentle authority figure and make me behave, I don’t want it.
The occasional hand necklace would be great, but bend me over and give me the spanking I need so badly and remind me I choose this. Make it worse if need be.
Because I do need the structure and I’m not handing that shit over willy nilly.
Things I will call female authority figures:
Professor
Doctor (if applicable)
Ma’am
M’lady
My queen
Things I will call male authority figures:
Hey you
My dude/my guy
Bro
Yeah that’s about it
Power and Control Struggles–Self-Sabotage in Treatment and Recovery
Power and Control Struggles--Self-Sabotage in Treatment and Recovery Power and control struggles are not uncommon in addiction treatment and recovery. They occur for many reasons, some that are not directly related to addiction, but others that certainly are. For example, there are personality traits and patterns that develop apart from substance use. Such personality issues [...]
The post Power and Control Struggles–Self-Sabotage in Treatment and Recovery appeared first on Elite Rehab Placement.
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Why didn’t I reply before? Because fuck the Man, that’s why.
Also, in case anyone was wondering whether OkCupid’s new BS rule about “liking” someone before you can message them has helped anyone, it hasn’t.
Our feelings about authority are governed primarily by the implicit memory system. They emerged through interactions with our parents in the early years. It's where our feelings towards authorities are imprinted and hence why we respond the way we do.
If your mother or father (or caretakers) felt it was better to evoke fear to get you to obey them, then you probably have ambivalent feelings about authority.
Indeed, if they had ambivalent or conflicted feelings about authority figures, then almost certainly you picked up on them, albeit non-consciously.
In particular, if you experienced abuse at the hands of your parents/caretakers or anyone you trusted when you were very young, then you're much more likely to have authority issues.
“The implicit memory system is experienced not recalled”
An implicit memory is automatically experienced - it isn't intentionally recalled. The feelings and reactions you have are the outgrowth and the culmination of many previous memories with authority figures.
Those previous memories get stored as implicit memories. So you won't recall the incidents - you're automatically recalling the feelings associated with these events and they are shaping your views of authority figures.
Because authority issues arise from our feeling states, they're not effectively changed by left brain criticism or admonition. We need to feel how and where these states arise in the body (a right brain strategy) and then move into experiencing something new at that moment.
Where would we find such an experience? Well...I thought you'd never ask!
A good place to start is in the safety of a therapeutic relationship--with an attuned therapist.