#autfest

Loved being at Autfest with my big little brother ❤️🤗

They gave these fidget cubes out at Autfest last night, and I have to say, they are pretty awesome.

@starlightbrethren and I were there for The Accountant, which is in itself almost a good enough reason to drive all the way to Orange County, but we went because Ben Affleck was there for a Q and A (There is never a good reason to go to Orange County, but for Ben Affleck, I’m willing to do stupid things.)

This was my third viewing of the film and I’m not really an action movie type of person, but this one is really worth it.  I mean... badass with a moral compass who happens to be autistic?  Pretty cool. I feel like we see a lot of badasses with poor coping and social skills, but they’re usually more associated with trauma, and usually attributed to things like being alcoholic or psychotic.  This character’s autism is not only canonic, it’s a big part of the story.  (*Spoiler: John Lithgow’s death scene is also iconic.*)

The Q and A wasn’t really anything to write home about- I’m not just saying that because they didn’t choose my question (As a filmmaker, what do you think the challenges are of bringing more neurodivergent characters to screen?) (Like, come on Jassie, you didn’t really think you were going to get an answer, did you??) It’s just that all the questions were pretty softball. 

Which... this was a non-profit film festival, so you can’t really expect that they’re going to be doing hard-hitting, investigative journalism.  They talked a lot about autistic characters, but also that there should be more autistic creators- writers, directors, producers, actors. There were questions about “would you let your kids become actors” which felt like a weird one to ask because he’s already answered that like a month ago, and I don’t really know why it would be lobbed at him again. 

I was a little surprised because he answered the questions with a lot of “them” and “you guys” and he has a tendency to use “you guys” a lot (it seems like a nervous tic) but it was more that for some reason, I’d always thought that his brother and/or his son were on the spectrum.  It’s none of my business, (obviously) but I’ve lived with someone on the spectrum for over 10 years now, and while no one presents in the exact same ways, there were more than a few mannerisms that those two seem to exhibit that pointed towards autism as a possible explanation.  Not that it mattered.  I was just a little shocked about how much he emphasized outside research with people with autism for the role.

Even though most of what he was saying was mock-scripted and not much news (we already knew they were working on an Accountant 2, right?) I was really struck by something about him.  It was a relatively large theater and I wasn’t anywhere near close to him, but I’ve been in situations like this before with people I...is “admire” a word you can use when you would like to sit in someone’s board room as well as on their face? In any case, what I’ve found with people who you’re used to seeing on camera is that the lens tends to create a noticeable tension between subject and audience. It’s not particularly good or bad, because that depends wholly on the person in question. 

For instance, I realize that people say that Benedict Cumberbatch is a phenomenal stage actor, but seeing him in person was a complete let down for me.  The camera is very friendly to his performances (though perhaps not his face) and I certainly wouldn’t want to sit through three hours of him reciting Shakespeare. But for Ike Barinholtz, the camera captures his humor very well, but it leaves out a lot of his looks and doesn’t get enough of his stellar personality. 

In any case, while I wanted to see what Ben had to say, and get the chance to see him in person (even if it was from too far away) I wasn’t really looking forward to finding out which way the camera would change him. 

I didn’t have to worry, though.  This was the weirdest experience- watching him in person was practically indiscernible from watching him on camera- save the better view on the screen. 

Now, I’m not a celebriphile or a starfucker- but I live in LA and I like to go to these things because its fun to see a movie with a fresh perspective. I’ve been to my fair share and I’ve never encountered an experience where someone seemed the same on and off camera like that.  It was almost as if Ben Affleck is just genuinely that person. Of course, he could be an incredibly good actor.

And I suppose he could be both. It’s always a possibility.

I only bought tickets to the show, not the VIP after party, assuming that Ben would be one foot out the door before the panel was even over.  When he actually went to the VIP reception, I thought about sneaking in.  I’ve worked enough of those things to be able to figure it out.

But it was already 8:30 and I had to get back to the valley, and what the hell was I gonna do once I was in there anyways?  Get an autograph?  A selfie? I’m sure there were a good 100 people that were already queuing up for that with the right wristbands on, and the guy lives three neighborhoods over from me.  If it’s meant to happen, a better opportunity will arise. (Besides, free wine isn’t as appealing now that I’m on the wagon, lol.)