Jan 8
There's a good reason why my art style looks like it does and it's because it's the easiest for me to see all the details.
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There's a good reason why my art style looks like it does and it's because it's the easiest for me to see all the details.
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Dissociation culture is wondering why the brain decided the best response to “I’m overwhelmed and stressed and there are too many people” is to just. turn off language processing.
Like, why. How is “it sounds like everyone suddenly started speaking another language” supposed to be helpful?
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I listened to Prisencolinensinainciusol, but I have some kind of auditory processing issues and that's exactly what listening to music with lyrics sounds like already.
What a profound challenge it feels having auditory processing problems after getting used to the one sided podcast listening where I'm fine pretending to understand what is happening and enjoying the vibes to then going to talking with good long distance friends on the phone and trying to guess what they are saying through context so I won't have to ask them to repeat themselves more than every 5 sentences
shoutout to the audhd + auditory processing issues making me feel like a stupid fucking idiot once again
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something that might be useful to people, but i recently learned that what i thought had been part of auditory processing issues is actually receptive language issues. cause id always heard audio processing issues described as "difficulty processing what youre hearing", and assumed that having trouble processing the meanings themself was part of it. but apparently audio processing is more accurately described specifically as like, "having difficulty processing which words are being said". and i definitely experience that, but apparently having difficulty connecting correctly-heard words to their meanings is actually a receptive language issues thing rather than an audio processing issues thing.
like, ive described my receptive language issues before as like, if my brain is a lake, then the lake is frozen and the words im hearing are sitting right above the ice and wont sink in. i can perfectly recognize the words, but either it takes longer for the meaning to click, or it doesn't click/permeate deep enough for the meaning to be fully/intuitively understood, or in some cases the meaning just doesnt click at all.
and another way this differs from audio processing issues is that it can apply to written words also. so like, having to read a sentence several times before it stops being just a mental noise and starts meaning something. or having to double check written instructions just as much as id have to ask for clarification on a lot of vocal ones. and i hadnt connected this to the same thing happening with vocal words before but yeah, both part of receptive language issues
I’m watching a YouTube vid on the background of Humane and the Ai Pin. (hi Krazy Ken!)
It brought up an anecdote from one of the AI Pin’s creators, about seeing a family of 5 at a restaurant and how all of them were on smart phones, “not engaging with each other.”
And I thought back to my most recent family dinner out, and many more in the past.
Where my parents and brother understand that when I pull out my phone and start up sudoku or solitaire, it’s because my sensory processing sensitivity has been officially overwhelmed by the noise around us and I’m defensively distracting myself.
It never occurred to be before that people may be judging me, 43 years old and quiet with my head down over a phone while the other three members of my family are talking.
When in reality, I’m doing what I have found is the best way (in addition to my earplugs) to keep engaged with them - because the alternative to using my phone is to leave.
Doing a lightweight mental stim - sudoku or solitaire- to focus my brain away from the overwhelming environment of a restaurant.
Which allows me to better keep track of the three people I care about talking, instead of all the metal on ceramic and ice in glass clanging around me.
I definitely get the point of the original anecdote, about how people become consumed by the information (usually social media) on our smart phones and neglect the personal connections immediately with them.
But sitting around a meal table - especially in public - isn’t the only place interpersonal connections with present people can happen.
It definitely isn’t always the best one.
My family’s best convos happen in the vehicle to and from the restaurant, btw.
I hear words- I fail to process- I agree in hopes it’s the correct answer