Request: Can you do a Yandere Shadow Milk Cookie story. Where he’s a Platonic Yandere for Black Sapphire Cookie and Candy Apple Cookie. Since he created them, he’s this Yandere Platonic Father for them. Yet they were surrounded by him for most of their lies (pun intended), they think that’s how parents behave.
Except because of his influence, they adopted his behavior. So when Pure Vanilla Cookie enters the picture, and Shadow Milk Cookie becomes Yandere for him as well. They think it’s normal love, so they don’t mind having another father.
Candy Apple Cookie is the most supportive of this. Helping Shadow Milk Cookie with his wedding for him or having a father-daughter bonding stalking day.
Black Sapphire helps with spreading lies and false information to keep potential competition for Shadow Milk. He could even make letters and messages sent to Pure Vanilla, forged to be written with the hand writing of his friends to make him lose trust on them, or something.
Candy Apple and Black Sapphire are Platonic Yanderes for Pure Vanilla. They aren’t aware that Shadow Milk is a Platonic Yandere for them. Shadow Milk is Yandere for Pure Vanilla, with Romance.
Also for a bit of extra, could you do a head-canon for how Black Sapphire, Candy Apple, Shadow Milk, and Pure Vanilla would PLATONICALLY CUDDLE. Like if it was all four of them, Candy Apple & Shadow Milk, Black Sapphire & Shadow Milk, Pure Vanilla & Shadow Milk, Candy Apple & Black Sapphire, Candy Apple & Pure Vanilla, Black Sapphire & Pure Vanilla, and ect.
You don’t have to do this if you want. Just asking, although if you do. Please take your time and don’t pressure yourself.
|| Inbox: 17 ||
Ashite, Ashite, Aishite!
(Romantic) Yandere! Shadow Milk Cookie x Pure Vanilla cookie, (Familial) Yandere! Shadow milk cookie & Candy apple cookie + Black Sapphire Cookie.
// AA: “waow Candy apple cookie, how come you get to have TWO loving parents??” - Pavlova “child of divorce” cookie, probably. \\
TW: manipulation, child abuse, child neglect (implied),Stalking, generally poor parenting, love bombing, extreme violence (implied)
Shadow Milk Cookie POV:
The very instant that his first creation opened its eyes for the first time, Shadow Milk Cookie knew he was a goner.
He thinks that he could hardly be blamed for it, in his humble opinion, when this oh so itty bitty bundle of cookie dough stared up, up, up at him with nothing but awe in it’s gaze. The two black sapphires that the beast had embedded in it’s dough gleamed brightly- so brightly that Shadow Milk Cookie had half a mind to wonder if he’d accidentally stuck stars in his creation’s face instead!
The little thing he’d made out of boredom shakily tried to rise to its feet, swaying this way and that as it struggled to hold itself upright. For a moment, the beast feared that it might just collapse flat on its face, but in the end the babydough golem managed to right itself. “Well, well, well! Brava, puny creature! T’would seem you’re the strongest of the batch!” He remembers saying to his creation once he was sure it wouldn’t topple over. Shockingly enough, this was true- out of all twelve children golems that the beast of deceit had baked, this funny little thing was the only one that didn’t immediately crumble once he’d taken it out of the oven!
“What to do with you now, I wonder. . .? Shall I send you tend to my libraries? Or should I have you run amok with my marionettes? Oh! I know! I should have you star in one of my plays!” He had crooned, gleefully snatching the newly baked cookie GOLEM up in one massive hand. It squeaked in surprise as he had done so, not too unlike one of those little dolls that the beast had once seen his people’s the children from the Milk Tribe’s cities carting around, but it was loud enough pained enough to give the fallen virtue pause.
Bringing his child THE GOLEM up to his eye level, Shadow Milk Cookie peered curiously at the comically shocked expression his creation bore on its face as it squirmed pitifully in his grasp. It looked. . .vaguely alarmed for a moment when Shadow Milk Cookie tightened his hold to gently squeeze it, but it relaxed just as quickly when he adjusted his hand to simply hold it in his palm. Drawing it closer, Shadow Milk Cookie hummed, “Was that too sudden for you? Just a little too tight? Hmm. . . You’re a sensitive little thing, aren’t you?”
His creation just blinked at him, still too small and bright and new to fully understand the cold whisper of hissing lies that Shadow Milk Cookie fancied speaking in all that time ago. Instead, it just smiled at him and reached out with its little hands towards him, cooing and babbling like a child.
. . .
Oh.
. . .All at once, Shadow Milk Cookie suddenly understands why The Witches and The Baker so love to bring all those puny cookies into this world.
⟡ -`♡´- ⟡
“Faaaatheerr!” Caterwauled his darling daughter as he pressed his cheek against hers in a fierce snuggle, “Father, stop! You’re going to mess up my icing!!” Candy Apple Cookie complained, fruitlessly pushing at her father’s face with her small hands. Shadow Milk Cookie snickered mischievously in reply, a smirk stretching across his lips in delight. “Chin up, Sweetness! I’m finally home now after being trapped in that rotten old tree for centuries- didn’t you miss me as much as I missed you?” The beast crooned, pressing himself against his daughter a little harder. “Don’t tell me that you actually preferred it when your old man was crumbling away in that lightless prison, did you? And you and your brother were left all alone for oh so long?” He purred poisonously, intentionally scraping his claws against Candy Apple Cookie’s dough. As expected, the girl froze solid, all her fight draining away in an instant. “No! No, no, no, not at all!” His daughter wailed, big glossy tears welling up in her eyes. “I missed you a lot! Lots, and lots, and lots!! I promise I did, Father!” She sniffled pitifully, finally giving into Shadow Milk Cookie’s affections.
Chuckling meanly, Shadow Milk Cookie pulled his daughter into a proper hug, petting her hair to soothe her. It struck him then that, compared to Black Sapphire Cookie, his poor Candy Apple Cookie was quite the crybaby! “Oh. . .I know you did, sweetness! And I wouldn’t have gotten out without your help!” A lie, of course, but his daughter didn’t seem to notice- Especially not when she was so busy sobbing her little heart out the way she was.
“Oh, so what am I? Chopped liver?” His son pouted from a little ways away, his lips twisted into a rather adorable little scowl. “I mean, it’s not like I was the one running all over Earthbread, spreading rumors so that the light of deceit could grow strong enough to free father from that damned tree!” He huffed, drumming his fingers over his staff in agitation. Shadow Milk Cookie clicked his tongue, glancing over at Black Sapphire Cookie. “Language, boy- you’d do well to mind it around your little sister!” The beast tutted, wagging a finger at his eldest, who flinched and shrank away.
Oh. . .hmm.
Shadow Milk Cookie wasn’t sure how he felt about THAT sort of reaction.
His boy ducked his head, eyes darting to his shuffling feet as he took a breath. “. . .My apologies, Father, It won’t happen again.” Black Sapphire Cookie murmured, uncomfortably clearing his throat as his father leered at him in confusion. “. . .See that it doesn’t.” The beast replied, squinting at his son, looking for some sort of clear reason as to why his boy was acting the way he was.
When he didn’t find what he was looking for, Shadow Milk Cookie huffed in annoyance. Pulling his daughter up and onto his hip, Shadow Milk Cookie snapped his fingers. “Now, I don’t know about you two, but I do believe that a momentous occasion like THIS deserves a little celebration, doesn’t it? We could have a grand old feast to commemorate my freedom! Oooh- why don’t I put together a little something something in my theater?! What else could beat a good dinner and an even better show?!!” He chirped, his tower twisting the space around him and his children to comply with his wishes.
“In fact, I have a VERY special surprise for you two now that I’m free- oh, yes, I do!” The jester sang, setting his daughter into a plush velvet pillow seat nearest to the stage. Skipping away and ignoring the way Candy Apple Cookie sniffled and whined, reaching out for him, Shadow Milk Cookie cackled with glee as the space warped around him again, pulling him into the darkness of his new domain on the dark side of the moon. “A very, very, very special surprise. . .” He continued, “A new addition to our happy family!” He nearly sang, pulling the visage of his other half before him to show to his children.
Black Sapphire Cookie and Candy Apple Cookie both shot each other a look.
“A new. . .? Father, you can’t be serious.” Black Sapphire Cookie groused, his brow slanting down into a hard line. “Him? Of the cookies in this world?? Why?” His son cried, gesturing vaguely at the sight of Pure Vanilla, who was sound asleep and curled up in his bed. “Whaddya mean?? Why wouldn’t it be him? Who else could I choose but him?” Shadow Milk Cookie refuted, only (slightly) offended.
Candy Apple Cookie, still sniffling a little, wiped at her eyes. “Isn’t that the cookie I tricked in order to free you, Father? Why are you watching him?” His daughter asked, squinting at the sleeping cookie. She stared at Pure Vanilla Cookie’s face for a moment, trying her best to work out just what in the world her capricious father could want from this sorry lump of dough before glancing back at her father with a deadpan sneer. “Are you going to make him a puppet or something??” Shadow Milk Cookie sputtered. “WHAT?! NO!! No, No, No, Sweetness- He’s going to be your new papa!”
Once more, Black Sapphire Cookie and Candy Apple Cookie glanced at each other, both children supremely bewildered (and a little disgusted) by their father’s taste in men.
Shadow Milk Cookie’s expression curdled like sour milk. “He’s not THAT bad.” The jester huffed, crossing his arms over his chest when both his children grimaced. “What??? He isn’t!!!” He screeched. “My silly Vanilly is just. . .a little misguided, that’s all! This whole wicked world has filled his head with lies! Lies about me, about the soul jam, and even about himself!! He just needs some time to see the truth of things, that’s all!” The beast of deceit rambled, trying to defend his obsession lover to his children. “If you say so, Father.” Black Sapphire Cookie murmured, wisely keeping the rest of his opinions to himself. “I do say so!” Sniped Shadow Milk Cookie’s, forever eager to have the last word in any argument.
“Well. . .if he’s REALLY going to be my papa, then I guess he can’t be ALL bad.” Candy Apple Cookie reluctantly acquiesced. With a hum, she jumped to her feet to scamper up to the viewport that held the visage of her papa and squinted at the sleeping cookie intensely. “Hmm. . .mhmm, mhmm, mhmm. . .he’s got the chops of a real liar, deep down, I can tell!” She declared after a moment, nodding. “If you’re really serious about him, Father, then you should snatch him up as fast as you can!” Shadow Milk Cookie sputtered again as the little cookie spun on her heel, nodding once more. “Do you think he likes apples? Maybe we could lure him to the spire with a shiny red candied apple! Or maybe I could trick him into telling a lie? A nasty lie- the greatest lie in the whole world! Kyahahaha- That’ll get him, nobody can resist a lie THAT grand!” She rambled, cackling. “You’re going too fast- He’s never going to fall for it if you jump him out of the blue like that!” Black sapphire cookie refuted, cutting into his sister’s plotting.
Relieved, Shadow Milk Cookie opened his mouth to begin explaining to his daughter that no, she cannot court her Papa for her Father, that’s ridiculous! He’s more than capable of wooing his other half HIMSELF, thank you very much, but he does appreciate her enthusiasm- but then his son promptly cuts him off.
“Father needs to be way more subtle when courting this cookie. It would be much more romantic if he spread lies about him slowly, letting the embers of doubt fan themselves into distrust!” The radio host pointed out, stroking his chin in thought. “Perhaps I could write a letter or two to his closest friends? The written word can be taken at face value more often than not, and it would be SUPREMELY easy to forge a few letters from him. . .” He mused with a smirk. Shadow Milk Cookie gaped at his son, bewildered, then quickly jumped in before Candy Apple Cookie could even finish stomping her foot in indignation. “OR!! We could all take a step back here and let me, the MASTER OF DECEIT, handle this?” He rushed out, gesturing at himself. “While I certainly appreciate you two coming around so quickly, I’ve got this handled!! I was just announcing my engagement to you two before I brought your Papa home.” He drawled, snapping his fingers once more. In the blink of an eye, the sleeping form of Pure Vanilla Cookie vanished from view, shadows swallowing him up and dragging him into the Spire of Deceit.
“Oh.” Both of his children chorused, blinking owlishly at their father as the viewport (and the entrance to the Darkside of the moon) closed behind him. “Yeah. Oh.” Snickered Shadow Milk Cookie, shaking his head affectionately. “Now with THAT out of the way. . .I believe I promised you two dinner and a show?” The jester crooned, grinning widely when both of his children immediately scrambled for their preferred theater seats.
Oh, he just couldn’t WAIT until his other half was able to join them all like this- Shadow Milk Cookie could already picture it now!
Pure Vanilla Cookie, sitting with his children in the wings while he performed, his eyes wide with wonder at the beast’s masterpieces. Ooooh- what a sight that would be! Even if he had to wait for a while until his precious silly Vanilly settled into the spire again and stopped trying to escape, he didn’t mind. He had all the time in the world to wait for his love! He would come around eventually, Shadow Milk Cookie knew he would. ‘Ascended’ or not, Pure Vanilla Cookie was the second cookie of deceit, and nobody understood Shadow Milk Cookie’s virtue quite like he did.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I am a INFP to a t admittedly. I’m an introverted, emotional, anxious, conflict hating artist who really likes trying to understand the human mind. My hobbies are anything where I can create, mainly writing and drawing/painting. I like researching psychology casually because it makes character writing more fun for me, I also want to understand what the people I care about are going through because I want to help them. I feel useless if I can’t help in some way. I’m admittedly insecure with many things, from intelligence to weight. I tend to get really attached to things like characters or worlds, lore dumbing is my favorite activity personally. I hate arguments but do actually like debating, I am the person who has a snarky come back for everything, I just don’t always say it. I’m very stubborn and won’t give up on proving my point.
I like to tease and jokingly flirt with people I’m close to but if you actually flirt back I will get flustered and explode. Physically affectionate is my main love language, I’m a clingy person who wants to be held and hold others all the time. I like helping other people but don’t like being help myself, I always try ti fix things on my own. I like giving handmade gifts to people, mainly drawings of them or their interests, sometimes I’ll sew a plush or sculpted something. I want everyone I know to feel like I care about them and their interests so I try to keep all my gifts personal.
I tend to struggle with believing in the possibility of a better outcome, a bit of a pessimistic outlook on myself. However I have an optimistic outlook for people I’m close with, I think their lives will turn out wonderful because they’re just that great. I also struggle with social settings, to many people make me anxious, I overthink every word out if my mouth, I feel like every hates me. You know, the classics. I also get quite emotional about small things, you could raise your voice one level I would assume you want me dead. I don’t like self advocacy, I speak for everyone but myself you see. I was raised in a very traditional household and woman were just meant to deal with emotional issues quietly in their eyes so that’s what I learned to do. Academics are also a very important part of my self esteem at any given moment, one B and I’m silently crying in the bathroom. There is also the fact I look unassuming, I look like the main character of a high school movie before the makeover and so sometime I even try ti act like one, specifically the soft spoken kind one. I am bth these things but I focus on these qualities so much sometimes that I lose the rest if myself. The only time I can fully let this go is when I trust someone as much as I can. I am very defensive and closed offed until I trust you and then I revert to my true chaotic self.
I like funny, expressive, and thoughtful people. I also like more reserved and quiet people. They both bring me great comfort, I like the back and forth with funny and sarcastic people as well as the quiet solace in a quiet persons company. Of course I also love sweet and caring people as well, they help me feel safe.
(I would like to request shadow milk cookie and the three S’s of sonic. More specifically shadow and shadow milk cookie if you don’t want to do all 4, which is fine. Besides that you can do anyone else if you think you’ll have fun writing it. Ty!)
|| Inbox: 11 ||
High school the musical: this time it’s personal
Team SSS x YOU and Shadow milk cookie x YOU
// AA: ok sooo… you never actually specified what exactly you wanted?? I wasn’t entirely sure what to do, but I hope this suffices, Friend! \\
Sonic loves to playfully flirt with you!
Sonic, as we all know, is a teasing bastard, especially when he’s sure that he can get a reaction out of you! He loves to flirt with you and then sit back and watch you go red in the face- he thinks it’s just about the sweetest thing he’s ever seen!!
Shadow enjoys debating with you.
In my mind, Shadow typically tries to avoid arguing, but he actually loves debating things! There’s just something about learning the perspectives of his opponents that he enjoys a lot, and when he sits down to debate things with you, he finds himself genuinely intrigued by what YOU think about certain topics!
Silver is understands your anxieties, and he’ll always be in your corner to support you through it
Silver, having come from a desolate future without any other people, is no stranger to social awkwardness. Ironically enough, despite literally traversing through the fabric of time and space on the regular to save people, he often finds himself in need of saving from his own social ineptitude. However, despite his lack of experience with social cues, Silver is good at reading faces and body language- so if he ever notices that you’re feeling anxious, he’ll step right in to take your mind off of the issue!!
Shadow Milk Cookie adores your art, regardless of its form!
Considering that this is the same guy who creates puppets to perform in plays that he writes, I think it’s safe to say that Shadow Milk Cookie would be in awe by your artistic talent! Paintings, sketches, plushies, or scripts, it doesn’t matter what it is, because SM will love it in its entirety because you gave it to him!
HELLO!! I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO SO MUCH! Can i ask for a self ship with Truthless Recluse or Awakened Pure Vanilla?
Im usually more introverted, i dont really like social places with a lot of people and i dont like being in public place more than a few hours. My social battery runs down quickly. I can be social and talk when i have to (what im somewhere) but i prefer not to go anyway.
i see myself as somewhat energetic person. I sometimes have those moments when i get a lot of boost, especially when im with my friends. In those moments i laugh at literally anything and am very energetic i cant explain 😭
Most of the time im not so energetic tho. Id say the ratio of energetic and low is about 40-30% : 60-70%. There are more days than not where i just really dont have the energy or motivation to even exist let alone talk. I find myself having some low moments too.
Aside from that, i really like drawing and painting. Im on a HUGE art block at the moment and i get hella frustrated when i touch a pencil after months and then im unable to draw a head. 💔 I also like studying...for some reason..bot obssesed with it but it can be comforting. I don't really like reading books tho.
Im a big big airhead unfortunately, I daydream a lot and sometimes too much i lost a lot of time just imagining things and zooning out a lot.
I don have anything else to add i think! Once again, I DORE your writings and please keep it up youre amazing ❤️❤️
With love!
|| Inbox: 9||
Vanilla on the wind
// AA: it means a lot more to me than any of you will ever know that people seem to like my writing. \\
Truthless Recluse loves to be around you, regardless of if you both talk or not
Much like you, Truthless Recluse has a pretty low social battery and gets fed up with other people pretty quickly. . . However, despite his prickly attitude he LOVES to be around you and could never ever get tired of being with you. So whenever you’re feeling drained, TR would be more than happy to find a quiet place to hide with you for a while.
Awakened!Pure Vanilla might not have a cure for artblock, but he’ll still try to help you anyway.
Despite not being an artist, Awakened!Pure Vanilla has a pretty good eye for color and design, so if you ever ask him for advice with your art, he may actually be able to help you a little! He’ll suggest little exercises to try and stimulate your creative mind, or help you pick out a pretty color pallet for your painting. However, regardless of if he helps or not, he’d still love whatever it is that you make.
Hello, this was the oldest ask in my inbox- a busted matchup request (Thanks, Tumblr) from @rul3rofmyh3artt. I’m sorry that I took so long to get this out, everything going on the world has almost completely killed my motivation to write. Regardless, here you go friend- sorry to keep you waiting!
I match you with: Sonic the Hedgehog!
If there’s one thing you should know about Sonic, it’s that he LOVES to talk.
He’ll talk to strangers after he saves them, checking up on their wellbeing after an Eggman attack. He yaps on and on to his friends about anything that crosses his mind, often for hours at a time (that is, If they don’t stop him first). For you though? Sonic finds himself falling quiet more often than not, completely entranced by your excited rambling about what you love the most. If you (or god forbid, one of his friends) point this out, however, he’ll be quick to start running his mouth again- eager to avoid the inevitable teasing that he’ll surely receive later on.
That being said, at least you’ll never have to worry about him keeping up with you. He’s the fastest thing alive, after all- there isn’t anything in the world that can outpace him!
I match you with: Royal Margarine Cookie!
Another man who loves the sound of his own voice. . . However, for you, he’d be more than happy to listen to your stories.
Despite having traveled all over Earthbread scamming ENTERTAINING cookies of all textures and flavors, RM finds that just being around you makes his day- nay, his whole WEEK! Please keep talking to him- he WANTS to listen to you more than anything in the world. . . The only thing he’ll ever ask for in return is that you listen to him too the next time you both meet. Although he loves to listen to you talk, he yearns for the days where you listen to him as he regales you with (only SLIGHTLY embellished) tales of his adventures traveling Earthbread.
I’m someone who curses quite a bit, but when I’m away from my friends, family, etc, and usually in school, I’m more reserved and quiet and I overthink a lot about being alone in front of others.
I’m a big fan of plushies and gifts, and I usually dress the coziest I can, in or out of school.
I quite often pick at my nails, pull my hair, and bite my lips until they bleed and I just think he’d be so understanding and try to help me overcome the bad habits 🥀🥀
I love doing art, digitally, and traditionally. I’ve tried basically every form of art I can find and think of. Rocks, paper, ibisPaint, clay, modeling, pictures, EVERYTHING.
I sometimes forget to brush my hair and I just want someone t help me brush it sometimes and help get the knots out and I just think he’d be perfect for that
|| Inbox: 8||
Caretaker, who’s gonna take care of you?
// AA: all self ships are canon, btw, Devsis told me so \\
First things first, PV would LOVE your art!!
In a way, it’s a little like magic! The way the lines fall on the page to create the illusion of shape, weight, and mass is nothing short of awe-inspiring for him!! He might occasionally ask you to draw something for him, like a blueberry bird or a cream sheep, but he’d never push you to do so if you didn’t want to.
However, if you ever drew him, I think he’d melt!! He knows how much dedication it takes an artist to get every little detail of a portrait just right and he’s thrilled and flattered that you think he’s worth that kind of effort!!!
That being said, as a healer, Pure Vanilla can and will heal any wound you might gain, regardless of if they are self-inflicted or not.
However, even though he can heal your wounds, it pains him to see you be hurt at all. More often than not, he’ll gently chastise you for these habits and encourage healthier alternatives, such as fidget toys or some kind of busy work. Whenever he notices you engaging in these behaviors, he’ll quietly redirect you without kicking up a fuss. Usually by taking your hands into his or sneakily hugging you from behind to distract you!
Speaking of distracting you, if you have trouble sitting still while he brushes your hair (which he WOULD do, that’s canon behavior atp), he’ll ask you to tell him about your day! He wants to hear every little detail- like, “What did you have for breakfast, dearest?” “was it good?” “would you like me to make you some of that tomorrow?”. Y’know, that kinda thing
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Hi I would like you to write bishop heket x a reader that love making her food and often sits down when she is eating to talk to her
|| Inbox: 22||
Feast for Famine
Bishop!Heket x personal chef!reader headcanons
//AA: Hi. I’m back…for now. \\
Pre Betrayal
- If there’s one thing you need to remember about Heket, it’s that she is a picky eater.
- And I don’t just mean that she’s picky in the way that little kids are picky with their food…I mean she’s picky picky. Like, to the point where she genuinely won’t even swallow her food if she doesn’t like it.
- I’m not even kidding, she’ll pull an “Anton Ego” (the food critic from Ratatouille) and spit that shit out faster than you can blink. Usually onto the sorry bastard that didn’t meet her insane food standards. Worse still, Heket’s standards are inconsistent as hell. She’ll never eat the same dish in the same way twice in a row, so all of her followers have to take a wild gamble on the food to bring her based on her mood…which is also inconsistent. She has a reputation for being cruel for a reason, y’know!!
Tell me that her brother is the god of Chaos without TELLING me that her brother is the god of Chaos. . .
- however, there is an easy way to circumvent that cruelty and avoid that terrible guessing game altogether- A method that YOU have discovered and perfected over time!!
Asking her what she wants to eat and how she wants it prepared
- I know, INSANE right?!? By politely asking the cruel, power-hungry goddess what she wants, you’ve completely sidestepped her mindgames and won her favor!! Truly, a miracle for the ages… At least, that’s how Heket’s followers see it.
- as you can probably guess, none of them are particularly intelligent… but it’s fine, they don’t need to be smart when they’re so tasty cute!
- For obvious reasons, you were highly valued within Heket’s cult, to the point that other followers would go to you for advice before The Witness or any of The Disciples! At one point, you even heard whispers declaring that Heket intended to make you one of her disciples soon. . .however, after HIS experiments came to light, these whispers would never come to be.
Post Betrayal
- alright, so!! Good news and bad news!!
- The good news is that after The One Who Waits demolished her throat with his claws, Heket stopped being a picky eater!! Huzzah!!! The bad news is that she now has a preference for eating her followers… (something, something truly devoted followers grant their gods power/health/magic when consumed something cough)
- more good news though!! She still really likes you!!!
- or, at least, she liked you enough to send you somewhere safe once that heathen came knocking on her temple door. . . Though it’d be more apt to say that she just didn’t want the Lamb to get their greedy hooves on you after they indoctrinated over a quarter of her other followers during their crusades through Anura.
- regardless of her intentions, the moment that The Lamb tears her to ribbons and loots her temple, you’re left without a job, a home, or any sort of security. A VERY dangerous combination in The Lands of The Old Faith, especially once all the Bishops are slaughtered (and later on, subjugated).
- When Heket fell before The Lamb’s blade, you spent quite a few years wandering The Lands in search of safety. . .however, you never found anywhere that you felt comfortable settling down in. Anura quickly became a barren wasteland filled with fungi and starvation, Darkwood was far too dangerous for someone like you to linger in, Anchordeep was (relatively) pleasant but filled with dangerous warriors from the remnants of Kallamar’s ilk, The mountains were infested with heathen wolves, and Silkcradle. . . Surprisingly enough, remained the same as ever. Which, of course, meant that it was an uninhabitable war zone filled with toxic bugs and giant ass spiders.
- It’s nothing short of a miracle when The Lamb eventually saves you from your famine stricken kin when you eventually returned to Anura, opening up their home to you and granting you purpose once more!
Paradise (allegedly)
- Or. . . They WOULD have given you a purpose, but they’re more than a little preoccupied with that weird cat and his two kittens to lend you any of their attention. No matter, you don’t NEED the attention of a god to thrive. And, if you’re being honest, you don’t really WANT that damned lamb’s eyes on you anyway
- With no further instructions or guidance, you began to seek your purpose out on your own! Starting off strong with what is (arguably) one of the most important tasks a follower can attend to: Tending the earth and growing food! The Lamb’s land is well cared for, all things considered, but that strangely familiar worm and his cat friend are both entirely too possessive of the farmgrounds to allow you (or many of the other followers) to help them till the soil. In all fairness, however, that worm can probably do so far quicker than you could ever do it, so you decided to leave them both be.
- The next greatest task would probably be to tend to The Lamb’s shrines. . .but that spider doesn’t seem all too pleased to have anyone brush away the cobwebs that they’ve decoratively strung across all of The Lamb’s statues, so you leave them to it.
- Similarly, the heavily decorated squid who heads the Medical tent flat out told you that he had no need of any extra helpers in “his” domain as you were (gently) steered towards the kitchens, where there is apparently no set chef. The otter follower who guided you there wouldn’t tell you why that is. . . But it’s no matter. In all honesty, you probably should have just headed here from the start! After all, you’ve spent YEARS catering to the whims of a picky goddess, you can easily feed the easy to please rabble that The Lamb is so fond of.
- In fact, it’s almost TOO easy to please these people! Hell, you’re half certain that many among their number would be content to consume a bowl of literal shit!! It’s genuinely refreshing when the quiet frog stops by the kitchen and refuses your “easy” meals, silently demanding better from you in such a way you’ve felt compelled to obey.
- She’s a little picky at times, but will always eat whatever it is you make her, even when it clearly displeases her. If it weren’t for The Lamb’s doctrine against wasting food, you’re sure she’d have spat some of the meals you’ve made right back in your face! It’s all too funny to watch her scowl twist darkly when you remind her of that particular fact.
- Nevertheless, it’s always wonderful when she DOES enjoy your cooking! It fills you with pride to see that you can still satisfy a demanding customer even in spite of your long life beginning to catch up to you. In fact, just this morning, your frog friend who definitely does NOT remind you of anyone in particular gifted you this lovely necklace as thanks for all your efforts! Although a little macabre, you treasure your golden skull necklace dearly. In fact, you haven’t taken it off once since she gave it to you!
- She always seems so pleased to see you wearing it, even more so once the squid from the Medical tent catches sight of it one day. You can’t imagine why though- perhaps the two are friends and he’s jealous that she’d give you something so extravagant? Hmm. Food for thought, you suppose. . . Though that doesn’t explain why the shrine spider insisted on giving you what might as well have been a “shovel talk”.
AA omg you write so well ughhh :') i get so happy everytime you post even tho i'm just reading what other people requested, so today i'm finally giving it a shot and requesting something for myself.
I don't really know if that's how it works but i'd love to have some selfship headcanons for Dirk Strider based on some of my attributes ;)
- I am extremely talkative about everything, i tell people close to me everything about my day and especially things i'm interested in! I love gift giving based on others interests, i like to pay attention to every little thing others enjoy so i can find ways to gift them! Even tho i'm very talkative with people i'm close with, i'm still super shy around strangers and can't for the life of me talk with waiters or order food properly. I love napping constantly and cuddling, im a big hugger, and i mean a really big hugger, i love hugging and holding hands!
It's not much! But i hope it's not too hard to work with :') Sometimes i just feel like im super incompatible with Dirk lol! But i still love him so dearly. And id like to thank you so much for the stuff you write for free, im sure your works have helped and brought comfort to more people than you realize! ♡
|| Inbox: 10 ||
“Nothing”, from the album “To Let A Good Thing Die” by Bruno Major
Romantic Selfship headcanons
// AA: don’t let your doubts get the better of you! Dirk would love you very much!! \\
Minor TW: Dirk, to me anyway, is a little creepy. Just a little though.
It’s a well known fact that Dirk Strider, yap master extraordinaire, loves to talk!
But I would venture to say that it’s less that he loves to talk, and more that he loves to listen to the sound of his own voice. Well, sometimes, anyway. As a heart player, and ESPECIALLY as a Prince of Heart, it’s really, really easy for Dirk to get tired of himself. I mean, I would be tired too if I was brought face to face with a million of versions of myself on a daily basis!
So, for as much as Dirk loves to talk, he loves to listen even more. . . So anytime you want to talk to him, he’s ALWAYS going to listen. It doesn’t even matter what you’re talking about, either! Dirk just loves the sound of your voice!! Tell him about your day, please, or about that weird rock you found on the side of the road- tell him every single thought that’s ever been in your head. He loves learning new things about you!
Speaking of learning, for as much as you watch Dirk, he’s going to be watching you right back!
The way you speak, the way you stand, that one hand gesture you always seem to do whenever you’re excited- it’s all getting taken note of and promptly added to the gigantic ass information folder that Dirk has of you. Be warned, However, sometimes Dirk’s habit to watch people crosses a line or two, because he WILL set up cameras in your house to watch you while you sleep.
Sorry chat, but I feel in my heart of hearts that Dirk is a little bit of a creep. A well intentioned creep, but a creep nonetheless.
Circling back to just talking to him, talk to him while you guys cuddle! He’ll never admit it (mostly because he can’t find the words to) but this man is touch starved to hell and back!
When you first cuddle up to him, he might freeze up a little, but it’s not because he doesn’t like it- he just doesn’t know what to do. Living alone, on a near infinite ocean without any people around made Dirk unsure of how to respond to things like affection and love. Just give him a minute to adjust and relax, then you’ll have one of the cuddliest men in all of paradox space.
That being said, if you ever decide to surprise him with a hug attack or something, he’ll go limp, sort of like a puppet. . .it’s a defense mechanism that he learned from Lil’Cal. Granted, it’s not a very GOOD one, but I never said that it was supposed to be. He’s a little embarrassed about it, in all honesty.
Moving on, if you ever have trouble talking to strangers, Dirk will just talk to them for you.
He’ll probably go on a long-winded ramble and loose the original context along the way, but he’ll do it! Just. . .stay nearby to interject when he gets a little TOO off track and starts lecturing the other guy on shit like LIFE, or LOVE, or PHILOSOPHY or whatever.
Howdy there! My name is audaciousAcolyte, but you can call me Audacious or AA.
I keep forgetting this blog exists, so when I do update it (IF I update it), there will be long stretches of time where absolutely nothing happens.
What I will do:
X readers
Poly ships
NSFW (on the rare occasion. Under a blue moon. Twice in a century. . . I don’t have any experience in NSFW lol)
SFW
Yandere/Obsessive
Mood boards
Playlists
Tarot readings
ANYTHING INVOLVING SELF-SHIPPING! PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOUR YUMESHIP!!!
What I won’t do:
Heavy gore (with certain exceptions.)
Hardcore angst (Also with exceptions, but I’m less inclined to write about it)
Piss/poop/fart kink (personally, it squiks me out, but I’m not going to kinkshame. . . More like kink inquire why)
SH or Su!c!d3 related stuff
Anything romantic involving children/pedofillic fantasy fics
Incest, pseudo or otherwise
Forced feminization kink (again, not kink shaming- it just squiks me out)
Things I MIGHT do:
OC requests. . . But don’t count on it
Character x Character. Depends on the ship and fandom
If you aren’t sure if I’m cool with something you request, just ask. I’m SURE there are other things I’m not mentioning here that I’m not comfortable writing.
What I won’t tolerate:
Kink-shaming
Homophobia
Transphobia
N*zis
Generally hateful words and actions
Ped0phillia
Racism
Fandoms:
Sonic the Hedgehog (MOST variants. I know absolutely nothing about ARCHIE Sonic, and I do NOT want to learn)
Homestuck (including Beyond Canon)
Cookie run Kingdom
Transformers (most?? Variants)
Lego Monkie Kid
Cult of the Lamb
The Amazing Digital Circus
Hazbin Hotel
Pressure (Roblox)
Current hyperfixation: none currently
Rules for requesting:
(X reader and Character x character requests):
Please specify what you would like to see in as much detail as possible, and remember to limit your characters to 2 or 3. In certain cases, I might be inclined to write 4 characters, but not always.
(Self-ship requests):
Tell me about your selfship! What your s/i is like, what your relationship is to your f/o, and what your dynamic with one another is! I love hearing others gush about their favorite characters, and I’d love for you to gush to me about all the juicy details <3
(Mood boards):
Describe the aesthetic of your ship in as much detail as possible. Try to be specific with what colors, themes, or images you’d like
(Playlists):
Describe the vibe of your ship. How they interaction with each other, how they interact with others, and how they act on their own. Try to summarize their relationship in two or three words, if you can.
(Tarot reading):
Describe the relationship between the two characters in your ship. How do they differ from one another? How are they alike? How do they act when they’re together versus when they’re apart?
OC requests MUST be specified. Be warned though: OC x canon character requests will rarely be taken. I like hearing about your OCs, but I’m primarily an X Reader blog.
