Dream and the story behind
Yeesshhh, whatโs with these dreams I keep having and somehow remember?
First things first, thereโs this friend I have in secondary school, when we met he was the fat/adorable/extrovert/happy-go-lucky kind of person, during Junior years we never really talked much nor did we got into the same class, but during those times, Iโve known him as a โFriend who has a high proficiency in Malay but not much else in others especially mathโ guy.
But things changed when we entered Senior years, as he and I were chosen to be in the hostelโs students club with a bunch of others. And Iโll admit, I was not a happy camper when a note was handed to me saying โplease come down to the end of the cafeteria at 8 pm sharpโ, but I went there anyway.
When the president of the club explained how she chose us and why I got hesitant with leaving the club as the people I was with were mostly students seen everyday, but then I realized, I didnโt know any of them, and theyโll never know the true me if I leave, so there I stayed, expecting some friendships to be made and awkwardness to be subsided.
And after the meeting, I got to know the real him, he was a planner, he was a host, he was someone a lot of people admire, free of stress and full of happiness. At year 2 of senior year, he was the president of his volleyball team, he was an honorary member of the school, the discipline of leadership camp,
But I'm getting pretty off track of the dream.
But one last thing, about two weeks ago I went back to Malacca for the school anniversary, and the first thing I asked there is which booth did he worked around the school.
When I saw him, being a PE teacher, his years of training got him slimming down to an admirable size, either he was wearing sport shoes, or he got taller since the last time I saw him, (which was about 18 months ago.) When he saw me, the first thing he said was, โThey said you were looking for me?โ
And I was surprised he looked happy to see me, but I was wrapped up in the anxiety of not getting back to Kampar on time that I stammered something he did not expect. Somehow, instead of replying an actual answer, I sighed to him and said something like, โI'm never getting back on time,โ And after I said it, I immediately regretted it, cuz he got confused and turned to focus on the friend/teacher beside me.
We never talk that much, he wasnโt like a brother to me or anything, he was a like a...nevermind...
Anyways, the dream took place in a dark room, where I remember comforting him on something, I tried to go for a hug, but he was surprised to my gesture he gasped and hugged me tight, it was like I felt his sadness and misery with just that hug, his chin on my shoulder, tears streaming down, and justโฆhugged me.
The position was off I think, we were both sitting on a mattress or something as we sat across from each other, and it was something I didnโt know I could do. I felt his struggles of being called cute and round, his boring life working for his dad in a store, his relationships with girls that were dear to him, his responsibilities and how it lead him to be tired all the time, but during this whole dream, I think I wanted to hug him for a very long time. He came a long way to where he is now, and in the next month or so, heโll be off to China and studyโฆ something physical I guess?
But what does the dream implies?
I think, at times I was there for him, like when we were responsible for the transactions on nightly supper/takeaway for the students who ordered from a specific restaurant. When he was supposed to be there for the transaction, he would either forgot about it, by literally bailing and goof off with his gang or simply because he was busy with others.
I never hold grudges, but for almost a whole year, he would be absent for at least 50% of the time, even though I was capable of handling the situation by myself, I would still be pissed off with him finally realizing his duties, rushes to see any bad outcome, but sighs in relief when nothing bad happened, it would be like,
โOh man! Dude, I'm so sorry about that, I must have got carried away with *insert random excuse* and lost track of time, I promise you Iโll handle it next time.โ
And sometimes he did, but most times he relapsed back to his old routine and tries apologizing over and over, and I would be blunt to his actions and multiple excuses.
Now that I think about it, he was just trying to make the best of his time as an exam free student and wants to live out his life as one, while I was narrow-minded not trying to have fun and finish my duties without negative results.
As for the dream and itโs meaning, I think Iโve covered enough literature to assume that, even when heโs at his most vulnerable, when heโs at his most collapsed state, I would still be there for him, lend him a shoulder to cry on, let him know Iโll be there for him, even when heโs not there for me.
