@etharest sent : she's prepared something extra special, just for him. a small shot glass filled to the brim with shimmering gold. " feel like experimenting a little, my love? " slides the blood-filled shot glass across the surface of his desk, pushing with her knuckles.
attention flits from the paperwork he's in the midst of - he does it all by hand still, just in case - up to the shot glass, its glimmer and gleam as intoxicating in view as in practice. he turns gold stare up to her, a brow darker than it had been a moment before lofting a touch.
"you do know i love a good experiment," he thrums, and only now is the paperwork set aside so he can once more look at her blood there on his desk.
thus far in their relationship, and with the addition to their sex life of her blood, he's managed to push back every memory, every thought that swirls in the back of his brain. but now he cannot ignore it any longer. the flashes are too loud and aggressive. ilmerrisan raises his arm, beckoning her to come over and sit in his lap so that arm can wrap around her, even though he almost refuses to look at her throughout.
"i've told you i was married before, ja?" he had, but never had he gone into detail about any of it. "twice, actually. the first was very, very long ago. i was the left hand of the queen, and my wife was her favorite seamstress that catered exclusively to her. we were so in love. two years into our marriage, we had a baby girl." he speaks fondly, without any tremors, ache in his tone, even as he continues. "when a neighboring kingdom invaded and won, they exposed my experiments to everyone, including my wife, who i had protected from the knowledge of what i was doing to try to save lives. she chose for both herself and our daughter to be executed for guilt by proxy." now, his voice sombers some, but he continues.
"they did not allow me the same mercy, though not for lack of trying to make that the end goal." free hand comes up to touch lightly at the tip of his ear, perhaps not even realizing he's doing it. "they cut the lengths of my ears to separate me from my people. left the wounds jagged and raw for nearly two hundred and fifty years." hand stays by his ear, where the points are tiny now, and barely visible amid all the silver clips are the paler scars of both the severance, and where centuries later, he had cut cartilage and tried to reform the points. successful enough.
"i cannot recall how many days the whipping lasted." by now, she has certainly seen the scars he has avoided explaining. "it was perhaps a fortnight, perhaps more. nonstop, except to change who it was holding the whips."
there is no quest for sympathy here, only the intention of giving her exactly who he is, and who he has always been.
"my second marriage was messier. i met her not long after i was released from the prison they kept me in after the whipping stopped. i met her, and for a moment things were alright. the day we met, she tried to sell me something to take the pain away. i told her i'd be just fine with my own supply. something i barely remember happened that almost killed me, but next i knew? i was fine. fine, and insatiable."
now is when he looks up at liana. his angel that, though he will likely never admit, reminds him so much of wonderlands and a girl he fondly remembers as alice. a faint smile for her, and he turns it up to liana, lets it fall while he clarifies.
"that was the first time she injected me with a full fluid ounce vial of angel blood against my will, and the first time she left me alone to wallow in the side effects." lazily, his fingers toy at the edge of her dress' skirt, the action chaste and fidgeting. "she would often force it on me, then initiate foreplay only to pull away with the intention of goading me into..." golden gaze turns to the floor and the light fidgeting ceases. "she wanted me to rape her. constantly. it would be an almost daily occurrence, but i was too high on too much blood to see that it was what was going on. it took her practically fucking several other men in front of me after the drugs wore off when she couldn't get what she wanted for me to wake up."
ilmerrisan takes in a deep breath then, his hold on her tighter. "i tell you all of this not to deny this, or make you feel guilt for asking, but so you are wholly aware that when i say yes, i am devoted to you to such a degree that i do it willingly after everything that has happened. that i am opening a wound that has festered for so long by doing so that i trust you not to make more grotesque."
with that said, he brings his gaze back up to meet hers, maintaining it as his hand leaves her dress hem to pick up that shot glass full of her blood and bring it to his lips with no further hesitation, taking it back without breaking their mutual stare. the glass is drained in a single slog, the glass turned upside down onto his desk as he swallows.
"i trust you liana. i love you, and i trust you completely."
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I think the anxiety has subsided…for now probably. thank god.
anyways. have u guys been hearing about ezra miller?
like the crimes just keep getting crazier and crazier. there’s always been something off with ezra..like…hot yeah, very attractive if I’m being honest, but the vibes..idk man, very questionable. there’s something about the eyes that put me off. something depraved. something…I don’t know, not right.
we’re probably gonna end up hearing sometime soon that a murder has been committed, and i wouldn’t even be surprised if I heard cannibalism was involved too.
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