I'm still on a Superbat kick so how about them all with Bruce and Clark? Obviously doesn't have to be shippy at all.
hahahhahaa
Headcanon A: Â realistic
Introducing Bruce to Clark’s mother for the first real time was hilariously awful. He was awkward. Martha was trying to be polite. Clark was trying to smooth things over and not helping at all. It was all just really bad. Clark thought it might be the name? And like, yeah, the name, but also Bruce says, the last time he was around a Martha... she wasn’t so short. It’s super distracting. He physically cannot look her in the eye without bending down some. It feels very rude, no matter what he does!! That is honestly so distracting it’s fucking overriding his PTSD. How did such a tiny person have such a big son, Clark. I know you’re an alien, Clark, I’m just-- I’m just saying. How. How did anyone believe it?
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
one time, Clark found Bruce asleep at the mission table, apparently passed out from a series of sleepless nights. When he tried to shake Bruce awake, Bruce mumbled, “fuck off, Alfred.”
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
One time, Clark tried to shake him awake, and Bruce mumbled, “No, I spend longer with mom.”
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
Stop motion really freaks Bruce out. Clark, with his fucking Superior Vision, doesn’t really get it, because it’s just kinda really janky???
and Bruce, furious, spends weeks creating an elaborate stop-motion film, spending thousands of dollars of Bruce Wayne’s personal fortune paying the animators to animate stop motion at 60 frames per second, just to show Clark in high fucking definition that it’s scary.
...Clark doesn’t know if stop motion is really that scary, or if proximity to Bruce being pissed in comparison making it seem tame.
