#askdj

"Come on, Seungcheol, talk to me," Jeonghan said as he ran after his best friend. The annoyed king walked even faster and rounded a corner. He wasn't in the mood to talk. As soon as he was out of Jeonghan’s sight he leaned against the cold stone wall and rubbed his temples.

"Lord Jeonghan, the Duke wants you and King Seungcheol at the dining hall in 10 minutes to talk about preparation for the Royal Ball." a maid told Jeonghan before disappearing off to do her chores.

"Cheol, I know you're behind that wall," Jeonghan said as he slowly approached the wall Seungcheol was hiding behind, careful not to turn the corner and have him run off again.

"If you knew that I'd hate it so much maybe you should've tried to talk my father out of it. A ball for goodness sake. I knew he was adamant about me finding a partner but I didn't think he'd do anything without my permission." Seungcheol said, his voice getting tight with anger. Jeonghan had been his best friend ever since they were in diapers. Seungcheol had even turned him from a servant to his Royal Advisor because they were best friends.

Jeonghan frowned from the other side of the wall, knowing how much Seungcheol hated the thought of love. Sure, he loved his father, brother, friends, and country, but it was that other kind of love that he hated. The word that meant you had to give up everything for a single person, the word that tied you together forever, the word that would hurt him.

He hated that word. That word made him uneasy and on edge whenever it was mentioned. The Royal Advisor couldn't blame him though if he had gone through what Seungcheol had experienced he would probably feel the same way.

"Just hear him out Cheol." Jeonghan pleaded. "Maybe it's time for a little change of scenery." Seungcheol came out from behind the wall, obviously still sulking.

"If you weren't one of my most cherished friends I'd have you hanged right now."

"Thank you for not hanging me, this is one of the times where I appreciate your friendship."

__________

The Duke, Seungcheol's father, had already made most of the plans by himself and it seemed like he didn't need any help with the rest of the planning. From the decoration to the food, and even to who was invited. The Duke had it covered. All he needed was the king's consent, which was proving to be a hard thing to achieve.

"I said no, Father."

The old man slumped back in exasperation, throwing his hands up in defeat. Seungcheol paced around the hall in anger. He imagined the walls decorated just like his father had planned. He pictured people roaming around in grand suits and magnificent dresses. Having a ball would be nice for a change, he thought. But not when its sole purpose was to hunt for a wife.

"Just this once, son. I want a secure future for this kingdom before I die." the Duke reasoned with him. The boy sighed. It was such a logical and reasonable excuse he couldn’t retort back. As much as he hated to admit it, his father was right.

"On one condition," he said, "You can introduce me to as many women you want, be she a princess or a queen or a lady I don't care. But the final decision is mine. You are not allowed to influence my decision nor are you allowed to decide for me." He shot his father a look.

"As long as you choose at least one woman before the ball ends." his father agreed and stood up, walked towards him, extending his hand to seal the deal.

"One woman," the Duke said.

"My choice." Seungcheol finished as he shook his father's hand.

__________

Sitting on his throne was the best choice Seungcheol made that night. The grand bejeweled seat was set up on the stage located at the very end of the hall. The young king could see all the guests from there. Couples were dancing, tables filled with different delicacies and pastries, and the band playing their fiddles and trumpets in the corner of the enormous hall.

He could especially see the ladies who were desperate for his attention. They had heard of this new young king's reputation from rumors that spread after the ball invitations were sent out to various countries and noble families. They heard rumors that he was an especially handsome young man. And now that the evidence was in front of them they could hardly believe that the rumor was so deliciously true. The way his navy suit fit so perfectly on his body made them swoon. His raven hair that he would comb his fingers through now and then made their hearts flutter. His tantalizing eyes and cold stare made at least 2 women faint that night.

He locked eyes with some of the ladies who were walking over (after a fight with one of the guards because they weren't allowed to) and one of them fell backward.

Make that 3 women who had fainted.

The young king's eyes wandered to the other side of the room, his gaze landed on a red dress. It was bejeweled with orange and blue, making it alike to fire. The silky hair cascading down the back of the wearer, fluttering as she moved, making the fire seem even more alive. His eyes drifted towards her face and her eyes met his.

Seungcheol was captivated, he couldn't look away. There was this attraction to her that he just couldn't resist. He grabbed the armrests of his throne as he stood up. What was happening to him? Why did he even want to stand up?

Seungcheol get it together, he thought to himself. Despite his greatest effort he still got up from his seat. Only when she looked back at the drink in her hand did he regain his sanity and sit back down.

Seungcheol closed his eyes and sighed. He wanted this to be over and done with. The night just kept dragging on and on and on. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Jeonghan swaying in the arms of his boyfriend, Joshua, the son of a merchant from one of the richer towns in his country. He had been working as a trade advisor for Seungcheol ever since the decision of his coronation had been made and that was how those two met. Jeonghan's smile showed Seungcheol how happy he was in the company of his lover.

He noticed Wonwoo chasing after a princess that looked about his age. They would hold hands then let go and chase after each other over and over again. Their laughter pierced through his ears. His brother looked as happy as his best friend was.

The faces of the people dancing in the center of the hall had the same smile. That smile of contentment as they looked at one person. They glanced once in a while at the lonely king sitting on his throne as if they pitied him. As if they thought he was envious of their love. But Seungcheol didn't believe in love. Love was a sham. It wasn't real. You can't actually love anyone wholeheartedly.

There was no such thing as being able to want to be with one person for all eternity. Or the feeling that you wanted that person all for yourself. There was no such thing as that kind of love.

I feel sorry for you all, Seungcheol thought to himself, you don't know how hurt you're going to be when your love runs out.

His mother had left him and Wonwoo in the care of their father. She had run off with another man. He didn't want to believe it at first. His 10-year-old self was sure that she had been kidnapped, bribed, anything but that. His mother loved his father, right? She had said "I love you" to him countless times.

But as he got older he began to doubt. He watched his father slowly crumble and become the broken man he was now. Seungcheol saw how his father had changed and he blamed it on his mother. Was she telling the truth when she said that she loved him? When she held his father's hands, looked into his eyes, and said those three words, was she lying then?

Of course, she was lying. She wouldn't have left if she meant it.

"Seungcheol! My son!" he lazily turned and saw his father half walking half running towards him. Most probably with the 117th princess, queen, or lady that he wanted to introduce to him. Looking back at the crowd he said: "What is it now, Father?"

The Duke pulled a woman from behind him. Her red dress bejeweled in orange and blue was a great contrast to the Duke's gray outfit. She shyly brushed some of her long cascading hair in front of one shoulder.

Wait.

Seungcheol turned his full attention to the girl.

Red dress with orange and blue jewels. Check.

Cascading hair. Check.

It was her. He looked closely at her face, not even listening to half of what his father had said.

"- rules a small country right next to ours all by herself. What an incredible woman you are. Wouldn't you say the same, son?" the duke said as he looked at the king.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." Seungcheol said absentmindedly, his eyes still on the beautiful creature in front of him. His father left the two alone after whispering to the boy that he "had a good feeling about this".

It seemed to be more polite that he started the conversation so he went on and asked what her name was and where she was from. _____, as she had introduced herself, was from the small neighboring country past the forest and down the valley. She was younger than Seungcheol which surprised him as he was quite young himself. He had never heard of another ruling royal that was younger than him. All the kings and queens he had met were always at least 10 years older. The only royals his age were their children.

_____ kept looking down at her hands which were clasped tightly in front of her. Her cheeks and the tips of her ears slowly turning red after she had introduced herself. It was obvious that she was nervous as she was also biting her bottom lip. Seungcheol softly chuckled to himself. That was cute.

The poor stuttering girl kept her distance from Seungcheol which he thought was a good change from the gushing princesses and queens who didn't seem to have personal space in their vocabulary.

They gradually warmed up to each other and started talking about the way they ran their countries. The young king was yet again surprised at how knowledgeable she was about war strategies and so logical about the solutions she put forward to help her country. It impressed him that she had made a committee of town leaders and royal advisors to give her their opinions and to bring her their problems.

She was different. And he liked that.

No, he didn't like her, Seungcheol reasoned with himself. He was just impressed. Yes, that was it. Impressed that she knew her way around politics and the market trade, that she spoke in a way that made people marvel at her, that she didn't let the fact that she was royalty get to her head. It impressed him that she did everything all by herself. And-

As he got lost in his thought, his eyes drifted up from her hands to her shoulders. His gaze traced the lines of her waist, the jewels on her ballgown glinting in the lights. Though he tried not to, he moved his eyes to her face. It seemed like the lights danced in her eyes making it hard to look away, her soft-looking hair swayed and fluttered with every movement she made, and when his eyes alighted on her pink glistening lips-

No. NO. Get a hold of yourself, Seungcheol. You are not here to ogle at pretty girls even if they are insanely pretty. You don't dabble in things like that.

Though there was an annoying tugging in his chest as he cut her short and bid her goodbye (saying that he had to attend to some "party matters"). Seungcheol forced himself to walk away towards one of the glass doors where Jeonghan and Joshua were talking.

"You seemed to be getting along well with Queen _____, Your Highness." Joshua pointed out after exchanging greetings with Seungcheol. The latter quickly denied the claim, saying that he was just being polite to an equally polite girl. The other two boys gave each other a knowing look, having known their friend for so long made it obvious that there was something else going on with Seungcheol but they decided to keep it to themselves.

A loud tapping sound came from behind them. They all turned to be met with the sight of the Duke holding two large golden glasses, bounding towards them. He shoved one into Seungcheol's hands, nearly ruining the sleeves of his son's crisp suit as the cup was full of wine.

"Drink up, son! Enjoy the night while you are young!" his father giddily said as he took a long sip from his glass. Seungcheol barely remembered what happened after he downed his cup. The night turned into a blur of light and dark. Before he knew it, he was already waking up with a terrible headache in his bed.

__________

"Let me get this straight," Seungcheol said in exasperation. Jeonghan sat by the window of his room looking out at the soldiers training in the courtyard. "Do you mean to tell me that my father asked me which woman I wanted as my wife, while I was drunk mind you, and I chose her and now my father has invited her to live here in the palace for an entire year?"

"That is exactly what happened."

Seungcheol sat up in his bed and ran his hair through his hands. Technically his father hadn't violated their deal so there was nothing he could do about it. He stared at the wall in front of him, glowering.

"What are you so mad about dude, you seemed so happy about it last night," Jeonghan said, clearly amused at the scene unfolding in front of him. "Just admit it to yourself, you like her. Probably even love her."

Bolting up from the bed, Seungcheol grabbed Jeonghan's shirt collar. "Don't you ever mention that word again." he snarled, shocking his best friend. "I don't like her nor do I love her."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. But don't you think you owe her a chance? You're the one who dragged her into this and the least you can do before making her leave is letting her leave with a new friend and ally instead of a husband."

"Making her leave?"

"Yeah, if she's not marrying you she can't stay here. Duh."

Seungcheol just sighed and walked out the door to breakfast with Jeonghan hurriedly following him out. The two friends bickered on their way to the dining hall. Jeonghan claimed that Seungcheol had already fallen for the young queen, already teasing his best friend that their union would make them the ultimate power couple.

"A large and powerful country combining with an equally powerful but smaller nation to be ruled by two royals at the peak of their youth," Jeonghan said, waving his arms around as if painting a picture. Seungcheol just raised an eyebrow at his friend.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't like her?" Jeonghan just smiles at him knowingly and patted his friend's shoulder. "I know you do, Cheol. You can fool yourself but you can't fool me. Maybe you can't see it yet but I bet that deep down in your heart you already have a place for her."

"I told you, I don't-"

"Good morning!" a sweet voice reached Seungcheol's ears from behind them. He turned around to face the girl from last night, oblivious to the fact that Jeonghan's face now had a sly smile that was slowly spreading.

"Why good morning to you too! You are looking absolutely glowing this morning, My Lady," said Jeonghan as he dramatically twirled, bowed, and kissed the young queen's hand. _____ laughed and covered her mouth with her other hand, trying to suppress the sound. A small smile found its way to Seungcheol's lips after hearing her laugh. Her laugh sounded like soft chimes in the wind. A twinkling kind of laugh. He felt his chest grow warm.

The next few weeks consisted of _____ and Seungcheol trying to get to know each other, as per request (command) of the Duke. Seungcheol found out that she was educated not only in manners and etiquette, which were required for all noblewomen, but also in Mathematics, Sciences, Literature, and Music. His eyes lit up when she mentioned music. The only people that knew of his passion for music were Jeonghan and Joshua. He told her that they would accompany him in the back of the library as he played the old piano, singing along to their favorite songs of adventure. If he didn’t become king, he would’ve become a musician.

Conveniently, they were passing by the library so _____ asked if he could let her hear him play. He was about to turn down her request but she tugged on his sleeve and looked at him with her puppy eyes that he found himself saying yes. As soon as she saw the piano she sat down on the seat and started playing a familiar lullaby. Her dainty fingers pressed the keys one by one and though the tune was simple, Seungcheol couldn't help but fall into it. She noticed he was standing behind her and was about to get up but the boy gently sat her back down.

"Keep playing," he said as he walked closer towards her. _____ once again played the lullaby but this time Seungcheol stood behind her and put his hands on either side of her and started playing along. The melodies mixed creating a song. The layers of sound filled their ears and hearts. The atmosphere around them felt warmer, more magical. Their hands brushing over each other's ever so slightly, leaving a tingly sensation. Both hadn't realized that their hearts were pounding until their song was over.

That night, Seungcheol couldn't get his thoughts from the events from earlier. The way that their melodies blended so well together. The way his hand touched hers.

Stop it you can't fall in love with this girl.

__________

The library became a place that the two would frequent. Numerous stories and opinions were exchanged and soon _____ and Seungcheol regarded each other as best friends. Seungcheol found it amazing that they clicked so fast. Every conversation lasted hours and hours and some were continued until the wee hours of the morning.

Even when it was silent they were comfortable. In that secret place of theirs, no one bothered them. No one told them that they should act like a couple. No one forced them to get to know each other.

But that was what made Seungcheol fall harder. He liked those quiet moments with her too much. He hated the fact that he was so comfortable with her. He hated the fact that he did things to catch her attention. He hated that he wished she would come back every time she left for her room. But what he absolutely hated, despised even, was the fact that he put down his guard and let himself fall in love with her.

The scars from his past were still there. The memory of his mother leaving. The sight of his father being torn apart by one woman. Those were enough for him to shut his feelings out and go back to the way he was before.

Another ball was to be thrown in honor of the new queen to be. This event gave Seungcheol time to keep his distance from _____, making excuses that he was tending to party business. He would go back to the direction he came from whenever he saw her coming from the other side of the hall and cut her off whenever she tried to strike up a conversation saying that he didn't have time.

_____ noticed all these things. But she respected his decisions and also kept her distance. That wasn't as easy as it seemed because you see, _____ was in love with Seungcheol.

She had heard stories of the young king when he was crowned. An intelligent young man who had a heart for his kingdom. Unlike his father who locked himself up in the castle for years on end, he had walked around in the town square greeting people, had meals with the farmers and fishermen once in a while, and played with the children when they came out from school.

Without even meeting him or seeing what he had looked like, she had developed an admiration for him. And when an invitation came to her palace about a ball thrown by that very king she was brimming with joy and anticipation. The fact that he chose her elated her even more.

But Seungcheol's signals were confusing. He made her heart flutter but killed the mood every single time. _____ didn't know whether he did that on purpose or not. It seemed that he liked her one moment then hated her the next.

Of course, nobody could love you all the time. _____ knew that all too well. After all, she had thought her parents loved her but they left her to rule an entire kingdom at the age of 15. They left her without a warning, scared and alone. If her own parents weren't capable of loving her then who was?

It's okay, things could turn out like that. He never did tell me that he liked me.

The night of the ball came. _____ was happy to see that many people had come to wish them well. They asked when the wedding would be, how grand the celebration would be, who was invited, and all that. The young queen smiled politely and answered that she wasn't sure. In her head, She wished that she could tell them if the wedding was even going to happen.

The Duke was a little too happy with the celebration and kept ordering wine and other different kinds of alcohol to be brought out. Unfortunately for the young queen, her tolerance for alcohol was never very high and one of the guests, a certain Prince Taehyung, kept making her drink more and more.

"Come on _____, it's just another shot. It's not even that strong," he whined as he handed her the 8th shot of rum for the night.

Soon she found herself stumbling out of the dining hall and into an unfamiliar part of the garden outside. Different kinds of flowers littered the bushes, unkempt in some places. The ground was full of dead leaves and made crunching sounds every time she took a step. _____'s eyes started feeling heavy and her vision turned blurry.

"There you are." Seungcheol's voice came from somewhere. _____ looked up weakly. "Were you looking for me?"

"Not really, my father made me look for you."

Crestfallen, but not surprised, _____ dropped her gaze. Why would he even be looking for her in the first place? That was a stupid question.

The boy in front of her sighed and grabbed her arm as he tried to hoist her up. She slowly stood up and looked him in the eye. Maybe it was because of the alcohol. Or the fact nobody was around. Or that she really wanted to know how he felt.

"Seungcheol, can't you please love me? Can't you love me the way that I love you?"

Seungcheol's eyes hardened. He let go of her wrist and stared back at her pleading eyes, cold and distant.

"No, I can't."

His heart wrenched as he said those two words and her heart felt as if it was being torn into pieces. He turned and walked back the way he came, his mind a blur of emotion and his eyes pooling with tears. Her mind was void of any emotion other than anguish, tears already falling down her cheeks.

Seungcheol didn't know it hurt so much to say the words he had told so many other people before.

And _____ didn't know that she could have felt sadder than she already was.

__________

Seungcheol thought he knew what pain felt like. He had gone through battle training with his army. He had been slashed in the arm with a sword during an encounter with bandits. He had even been left by his mother.

But none of that compared to the heart-wrenching pain in his chest when _____ refused to talk to him, look at him even. None of them even came close to the painful, crushing feeling when she said: "Can't you leave me alone?"

He noticed that she never smiled around him anymore. She would find excuses to talk with Jeonghan or hang out with Joshua instead.

This is your fault, stop being so bitter, he chided himself. You were the one who said you couldn't love her.

It was hard for him to fall asleep at night. Even when he heard the door of the maids' quarters shut, he was still wide awake.

He missed her smile. He missed her laugh. He missed the way she would look at him. He missed how flustered she would get whenever he came close. He missed staring at her when she read in the library. He missed her eyes, her hands, her.

Seungcheol stood up from his bed. He was not going to let himself lose another person. Not when he could do something about it. He was a king for goodness' sake, fear of something from the past wasn't something that should stop him. He rummaged in his closet for a robe and walked to the door.

As soon as his hand touched the doorknob a loud banging sound came from outside. Seungcheol threw his door open and looked around. The sound was coming from this hall. Jeonghan was peeking out from his door, disheveled and just as confused as Seungcheol was. The only people whose rooms were in this hall were him and Jeonghan.

Then it clicked.

_____ was in this hall too.

Seungcheol grabbed the nearest sword and ran towards her room. Her door was wide open. He found _____being backed up towards the open window, her nightgown torn at the bottom. She had a dagger in her hand but was shaking so much that she accidentally dropped it.

A man clad in all black took that as a chance and advanced towards her. The young queen's eyes flickered around the room for anything she could use to subdue her attacker.

"Our Prince Taehyung does not like his future wife getting comfy with some other man." the man sneered, his teeth yellow and rotten. His eyes were out of focus and opened so widely it seemed like they were going to pop out. The gruesome smile on his face sent chills down her spine.

"If he doesn't get you, nobody will."

She looked behind the unknown man and saw Seungcheol creeping up behind the man. He motioned for her to move to the left then held up three fingers.

Two.

One.

_____ jumped to the left as Seungcheol brought his sword down on the attacker's back, slashing his clothes and flesh. Blood splattered on the walls and dripped down to the floor. Dazed and surprised soldiers came crowding at the door.

"Take care of this." their king commanded. As the soldiers disposed of the body, Seungcheol walked towards the place _____ was hiding. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the hall and into his room.

"Stay here for tonight," he said as he put away his sword. The girl crossed her arms over her chest, looking away. "And why should I do that?" her voice so cold Seungcheol couldn't help but shiver.

"I don't want you getting hurt while I can prevent it," he said. She rolled her eyes, unimpressed. "And to tell you that I'm sorry for what I said that night."

At that last sentence, _____ looked up into his eyes. She saw how sincere and vulnerable he was making himself. Her gaze softened at the sight of him. There weren’t a lot of powerful men that could put aside his pride and ask for forgiveness. Especially to people they didn't love.

"You don't be sorry that you don't love me." looking down at the tear in her dress, she tried to keep her emotions in check. The pain in her chest slowly growing. Ever since that night she had done her best to accept the fact that he didn't love her. Though she tried, her voice quivered and Seungcheol noticed. Her heart felt like it was being pulled down. She felt her mentality shaking. _____ had to get out of here and fast.

She turned towards the door and opened it but Seungcheol was faster. He pushed the door closed and pulled her towards him. _____ instinctively put her hands on his shoulders in an attempt to push him away.

"I said I couldn't. I never said I didn't" he said as a small, sad smile crept upon his lips. _____'s eyes widened, her mouth agape. "B-but..."

"I was scared. My father doesn't have the best experience with love and I had to watch him tear himself apart because of love. I was too scared to risk it. But I found someone that I want to risk it for.

"Then prove it to me," she said. Seungcheol's eyes scanned her face until they finally landed on her lips. She felt his strong arms wrap around her waist, pulling her even closer to his body. Her hands got tangled in his hair. Slowly, slowly, their lips latched onto each other's, perfectly fitting together. The two people who were afraid of love sharing the same space for a moment. Years of doubt and fear disappearing with each second their lips met. They pulled away and stared at each other

Seungcheol's hand went up to her face and found a cut on her cheek. He frowned.

"That good for nothing Taehyung is going to regret ever sending that assassin."

_____ smiled and placed her hands around his neck, pulling him towards her.

"And why is that?"

"He's messing with someone that's mine."

In the darkness of the hallway outside, Jeonghan backed away from the door from where he and Joshua had been eavesdropping.