#asexual witch

To all my fellow aces I see you, I love you, I’m aware of you.

And I get it, that's a core aspect to the lives of a *lot* of people, no hate to them, but I think the problem for me is that sexual relationships are taught to really be the only way you can be emotionally close to someone. It's the only way community can really happen.

For all the love of found family tropes, people in the wild will always be assumed to be dating, if not fucking, if not relatives, all before they're possibly considered friends.

And being friends is treated like the budding flower of "something more". I can still remember how it stung to know that one of my incredibly queer friends admitted to struggling with understanding platonic relationships and intimacy. I remember the surging frustration and anger when my mother told her boyfriend I was having a sleepover and the boyfriend asked if it was a sleepover or a Sleepover wink wink nudge nudge.

Because you're never "just" friends, right? It always has to be the groundwork for "something more".

Storms forbid you enjoy the company of someone you're not romantically and/or sexually involved with.

I take another deep hit, but his features swirl to life in my mind’s eye and there’s nothing I can do to stop the heat that follows. He was classically handsome, splattered with galaxies of freckles which did things to me. His body was soft against mine for the precious seconds I held onto him. When our hands brushed, magick sang in my veins. I didn’t know it could do that and I sincerely thought I was having a heart attack.

And don’t even get me started on his hair. It was … beautiful. I wanted to brush the curls away from his face and lose my fingers in the vibrant copper.

I haven’t been with anyone since Cas, and only a few guys before him, and like a freight train it hits me that I haven’t had sex in years. I was fumbling and dumb then, no wonder why ….

Well, there’s no doubt I’m not the greatest lay now, either. I frown, wondering why that man was interested in me at all. I give off a general ‘fuck off vibe' as Lindsey would say, so most people don’t approach me unless they want something.

Everyone always wants something.

Need a bit of magick?

A shoulder to cry on?

Life advice?

Lips to try out?

Arlo’s there, until he’s not.

💜✨🖤🦉🤍

Arlo Rook, demisexual Hedge Witch with some very confused feelings after crashing into a stranger in the market.

For all my fellow AroAces out there who are tired of this happening 😔🙏

Timing: Best performed on a Friday (for platonic love) or a Waning Gibbous since those are associated with relinquishing unwanted things and warding

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Ingredients:

Spray Bottle

Orange Rind, preferably dried

(Black) Salt

Egg Shells

Mint Leaves

Dried Rose Petals

River Water or Holy Water

A slip of paper 

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Notes: Make sure you clean and purify the river water before use, and don’t drink it. Do not drink this spray in general

~~~

Instructions:

For general use

Get a spray bottle and meditate on your intent with it in-hand

Pour the river/holy water into the spray bottle

Begin adding each item in, saying “Never fall in love” for each one when you add it

Once you’re done, hold the bottle and say: “For no romance but still for love, for friendship and platonic affection, may this spray protect me from unwanted advances and defend my relationships from unwanted romantic feelings.”

Focus on your intent and write a sigil for ‘protection from unwanted people/love/affection’ or a pride sigil for ‘AroAce/Aromantic/Asexual’ on the bottle. Here are some ideas:

You can breathe on the sigil to activate it, or choose to activate in any other way you want

Charge every so often under the light of a Waning Gibbous moon ✨

For use on a specific person:

Get a spray bottle and meditate on your intent with it in-hand

Pour the river/holy water into the spray bottle

Begin adding each item in, saying “Never fall in love” for each one when you add it

Grab the slip of paper and write the person’s name on it

Hold it to your heart and say “May your love for me never stray from friendship. May our bond never waver, and your heart never fall in love with me. May we never drift away in our platonic relationship.”

Focus on your intent and write a sigil for ‘protection from unwanted people/love/affection’ or a pride sigil for ‘AroAce/Aromantic/Asexual’ on the bottle. Use some of the ideas listed above

You can breathe on the sigil to activate it, or choose to activate in any other way you want

Charge every so often under the light of a Waning Gibbous moon ✨

So I see a lot of stuff online about sex magic, and so much advice on how to embrace your sexuality and use it to enhance your craft.

This is great, it really is, we need to destigmatize sex and female sexuality in all contexts and I have so much respect for people who educate about this topic and how it relates to witchcraft. It’s pretty interesting stuff.

That said, it can get a bit... uncomfortable?? at times.

I’m just a shade shy of sex repulsed, and sometimes I feel inadequate, or that I’m not doing it properly, if I don’t incorporate sex into my craft. Not just sex between two people, but masturbation and nudity are also not things that I’m in to. I’ve always been a rather reserved person, and stuff like that also makes me uncomfortable.

A few months back, my sister started working with Freya when she was in a bit of a tough spot. I’m so thankful that Freya graced her with the strength she needed to make it through the tough times for a little longer. However, Freya’s energy always made me uncomfortable. As a fertility goddess, sex is sort of one of her *things,* and I sometimes had to leave the room if she was too present, because I just felt so alien to what was happening. Outside of my sister, she never interacted with me, even when I cleaned off her alter while my sister was away or did other little tasks.

This made me feel pretty bad. I respect Freya a lot, and I though that if something about me was putting her off, then I was doing something wrong. I did more research into what might be wrong with what I was doing, what I might have done to upset or insult her. Throughout my research, I kept finding more and more articles and posts on sex magic.

It felt oppressive. I felt I was doing things wrong, that maybe I should try some of this stuff out and see if it helped, despite how uncomfortable it made me.

I did not.

I realized that I wouldn’t be staying true to myself or my practice if I started doing things that I wasn’t comfortable with just because I was told I should. Instead, I started looking into things that I was interested in, and picked up some new forms of divination. 

It felt great to do things that made me happy. I remembered why I had started doing witchcraft in the first place; to find control over my circumstances and get over my issues and insecurities.

To any and all ace witches out there: You don’t have to incorporate sex or sex magic into your craft. If it makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, or simply doesn’t interest you, you don’t need it. Practice for yourself, not anyone else.

You are enough.

HAPPY (EARLY) HALLOWEEN!

Have an Asexual week themed witch, ready to cast all Aspec people (and anyone who accepts ace people for who we are) good luck! ;P