it’s me, why don’t you kill me?
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it’s me, why don’t you kill me?

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aka alvin is a failure
Alvin wants his first time with Jude to be the good kind of memorable. Unfortunately, Alvin can never do anything right.
Jude clambers to the foot of the bed to look down at Alvin, who's crumpled on the floor after slicing his shin on a loose spring of the boxspring.
"I'm fine, Jude, really," he grits out. "Let me get this cleaned up real quick. I'll be back for you in a second."
Alvin puts as much coyness in his tone as possible, but his nerves get the better of him yet again, so he overdoes it and feels absolutely ridiculous. The first thing he thinks of is an overacting porn star.
This was going to be a very difficult night.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Unedited Jude/Alvin garbage I just wrote that is making me laugh at these two - it’s an excerpt from Of Little Things ‘cos right now that’s all I seem to have inspiration for. Sorry original fic... ^^;
“Alvin?” “Yeah?” “I love you, you know that, right?” “How?” “You’re not supposed to question it. You’re supposed to…” “Return it? Yeah, I’m sorry. I do love you back, even if I don’t seem that way. It’s hard to say. Sometimes I can’t imagine it sounds too sincere, coming from a guy like me.” “Don’t be a jerk, Alvin.” Alvin slid away and rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t think I was.” “You are, only you’re being a jerk to yourself. Stop it. I mean it. I’m not going to listen to it, Alvin. You’re the only one who won’t let go of all the shit you did in the past. How many times do I have to tell you? If you feel regret about it, then you’re not a bad person. Look at how much you’ve changed. You can keep changing for the better.” Jude tilted his head, smiling softly. “Do you think I’d love you this much if you had kept lying and betraying me?” “Kind of, yes,” said Alvin, meaning it as a joke but realizing it as the truth. Jude looked taken aback. “You kept forgiving me, over and over. But…but that’s one of the reasons I wanted to change. Because you had a hell of a lot more faith in me than I’ve ever had in myself.” Jude relaxed and reached up to touch Alvin’s cheek. “Yeah, well, someone has to do it if you don’t. We’re not going to leave you alone—Rowen, Elize, Leia. We’re all here for good, and it’ll be a problem if you ever try to get rid of us.” “You sound like my stalker.” Jude jerked his hand away and blushed. “Oh, damnit. Alvin! I-I didn’t…” He turned away, laughing strangely. “I was kidding…” “So, uh…” Jude rested one hand on the arm of the other and leaned back on one of his legs, still not able to face Alvin. “Are you ready to talk?” “We should probably sit down first.” “Ah! Good idea! Do you want something to drink? I’ll make us something to drink!” Jude hurried through the living room toward the kitchen, leaving Alvin standing in the entryway. “You don’t have to sound so nervous, Jude! I was kidding about the stalker thing!”