Panic attack - Deidara x Reader
Anxiety took the better of you. Your body stiffened and yet trembled as if you’re shivering from a non existent chill. Tension arose from your spine and up towards your neck where the tiny hairs stuck up on end. Breathing became shaky no matter how hard you attempted to ease it with steady breaths. Your heart felt full of pain and yet so empty at the same time. Times like this you didn’t know what to do, fight it? endure it? run from it? scream? cry? Who knows at this rate. Your heart begged you to call for help but your mind wanted to feel strong and tackle this matter alone. Pacing up and down your bedroom didn’t help either, it only made your shoulders ache from rigidness. Your mind was always so harsh on you in times like this and you have slowly grown to accept it, sometimes giving in, other times letting it boil up until the brink of explosions; regardless, the outcome was always unhealthy. But this time you needed to tackle this, for you. Taking place at the centre of your rug, back straight and legs crossed. You touched knuckles, forearms resting on thighs and thumbs connected by the tips.
Three deep slow breaths in and out will help you thought,
In ...and out.
In ...and out.
In ...and out.
Your eyes naturally closed, at first you squinted them shut out of habit as you focused on your painfully shaky chest and breath, hoping and begging for it to calm.
A knock on your door startled you, you told yourself to ignore it.
Now is the time to focus on me, I can’t let it take over, nor can I let anyone see me in this vulnerable state. I don’t want to be weak anymore.
A faint feeling of fingertips enclosed around your hands, eyes widened at the touch. Deidara looked sympathetic and worried, your eyes repeated his expression and he knew all too well of the feeling you were enduring. He mimicked your posture quietly adjacent to you, taking his hands in yours he closed his eyes and relaxed, breathing calmly as he brushed his thumbs delicately upon your knuckles. This action made your eyes deny you strength as you felt your eyelashes dampen. Closing your eyes too with a deep breath, falling into rhythm with his, you were able to slowly and calmly reduce your heart rate. The comfort of his company allowed you to feel strong once again, he was your strength. Slowly your eyelids felt heavy as your long, slow deep breaths gradually became one with his. A sense of being watched overcome you as you slowly opened your eyes once you were ready, he smiled warmly at you, watching patiently for you to feel strong within yourself. You returned the smile softly. A look of guilt took over, always feeling that he had to take care of you in these times of need. Never did you ask for it though, he always came as if he knew no matter where he was. He pulled you into his lap, intertwining his fingers around your waist and resting his head on your shoulders, “You’re stronger than you realise. One day I hope you learn to love yourself as much as I love you, [Y/N]”.
