#arrow 8x01

hugs from mom

hugs from tommy

hugs from thea

being reunited with his son 

IT KILLS ME the little differences we see in Oliver’s behavior as he’s “reliving” his history, not just because he’s seeing people he hasn’t seen in years, but because HE IS SUCH A CHANGED PERSON NOW. It allows us to see, side by side, just how far he’s come and like. UGHHHH MY HEART. Case in point:

the way he responds to Moira when she picks him up at the hospital 😭 Instead of being all closed off, he just....smiles so big. And squeezes her so tight! And says “I missed you so much!” 😭 (Contrast that to how Moira’s reaction is almost exactly the same. It just stabs me right in the heart!)

and then obviously his shock at things being different, like he thinks he’s on familiar territory and it’s all going to be easy. It really speaks to me, because it shows how he’s come to accept his past as part of him, so that reliving it is comfortable and familiar, unlike how it was the first time around! 😩💔💗 

which only becomes clearer when we find out what happened to THEA OMG. !!!!!!!! HIS SHOCK AND SORROW AND DISBELIEF! Because (aside from how much he just loves her) protecting Thea and being a brother is such a huge part of who he is, and has shaped him into the person he has become, and just! It shakes his very foundation. I love how well they show him experiencing this, and then bring it back later on in the episode when Dig is trying to convince him that things on this earth are WORSE OFF because he wasn’t there. SO BEAUTIFUL! SO PERFECT! SO WELL DONE, WRITERS (god it’s been an age, hasn’t it? lol)

and the fact that Oliver mentions William - SO SIGNIFICANT. Because even though he’s here, back with people he loves and has lost, almost like a “second chance,” he is thinking of William - of the life he left behind, his real life. 😭😭😭 Even with all he went through, he wouldn’t change a thing, basically. 

Which is why it’s so perfect when Malcolm asks him how he managed to survive on the island all those years, and Oliver just says (with his cracking voice), “It’s a long story” I DIIIIIIIIIED. It’s his story...his whole history of how he found his people - Dig and Felicity - and grew as a person, and became a hero. It’s all there in his voice and I am dead. 😭

and can I just say that it’s just so well done: Oliver came into this thinking he had it handled, but again he ends up having to leave dinner early, again because of how things have changed “at home” - because they’re not like how he was expecting. GUH, again, it just shows how far he’s come in accepting his past as part of who he is today. 💗💗💗

OKAY so Oliver staring at the picture of HIS FAMILY 💔 and his uncertainty about whether he did the right thing in leaving Felicity and Mia and William OMGGGGGGG STAB ME IN THE HEART RIGHT NOW. 

“AND SOMEDAY, WHEN YOU HAVE CHILDREN” his face omg his face his tears and the fact he can’t even look her in the eye because it would be too revealing OH GOD MAKE IT STOP 💔😭💔😭💔😭💔 FUUUUUUCK.

AND THEN “MOM I’M SO SORRY” because this is the first time he’s looking at her complicity in the Undertaking from the perspective of a parent and like UGHHHHHHH I AM DEAD. 💔💔💔 I CANNOT EVEN 

And okay Moira saying “Close your eyes, sweetheart” CANNOT BE A COINCIDENCE. Moira’s voice saying those words RIGHT BEFORE SHE GETS STABBED BY SLADE in 2x20 is INGRAINED in my BRAIN okay. GAH THE PAIN. 😭

Oliver’s snarky bitterness toward the Monitor is 💯👌🙌 like, okay he’s committed to the mission but he’ll be damned if he’s gonna like it loool.

Now to: “the most important room on this tour” AKA WHERE IS MY WIFE 😍

(also jesus FUCK he looks so fucking good, and his outfit is very similar to 1x03 THANK YOU!! 🔥🔥🔥)

(also okay not to be a bitch but that actress looks nothing like Felicity, not even from the back?? Um even giving differences due to different earths, she wouldn’t look THAT different and Oliver would certainly not confuse her for Felicity mmkay? Also why would random lady be wearing Felicity’s 1x03 outfit and why would she be chewing on a pen? I mean, the adorable pen-chewing is kinda part of Felicity’s unique charm. BUT ANYWAY I appreciate what the writers were trying to do here so I will let it slide.)

HIS LITTLE SHY EMBARRASSED HAPPY SMILE WHEN HE THINKS IT’S HER OMG 😍😍😍

“It’s supposed to be red” OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY GAH

his obvious dismay when it’s not her looool

“Oh good for her” 💗💗💗 swooon

Oliver puttin’ to use those “My wife taught me a thing or two” skills 🙌

Tommy as the Dark Archer - YASSS and I called it! 

MAH BROTP!!!!!!!!!!

The absolute relief on Oliver’s face when something FINALLY is right on this earth - meeting Dig. GAHHHH!!!!!

meanwhile John’s face with hidden amusement should have been a dead giveaway that he is OUR Dig 😂

and Oliver’s token “wait no I don’t need a babysitter” LOL SO DELIGHTFUL

Oliver being just SO SO HAPPY that some things haven’t changed, John’s “Diggle. Dig if you want.” 😍

and then the failed car escape attempt!!!! and John’s laughter!! and Oliver’s confusion!!! AAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAHHHH SO PERFECT! 💗

just....AFTER EVERYTHING THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER, and HOW FAR THEY HAVE COME, and HOW THEY’VE BECOME CLOSER THAN BROTHERS, and then for them to get to relive together this moment when they were strangers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LIVE!!!!!!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

GODDAMN OLIVER LOOKS SO FUCKING HOT IN THAT SUIT 🔥

And just watching Oliver as John says “Felicity.” Ugh, my heart. How nice it must be for him to have his John here, who knows his history, who he has become, who knows all the most important people in his life. 💔  

then their conversation about being brothers, and Oliver being vulnerable about his impending death. 💔

AND THEN OLIVER ESCAPING THE PARTY AND "YOU ALWAYS FALL FOR THIS MOVE” OMGGGGGGG I DIEDDDDD 😂😂😂😂 so perfect!

“This world isn’t better. It’s much, much worse. And do you know why? Because you weren’t in it.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

everything in this episode was leading up to this moment, and it is SO PERFECT. PERFECT for setting up the season. And PERFECT for Oliver having to confront this other version of his life. And PERFECT for him dealing with lingering insecurities and confronting his impending death. OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. 💔😭💔😭💔😭💔😭

Okay I know there were things I skipped, not the least of which was all the Tommy and Moira feels, with Oliver’s goodbyes to them 😭 but this thing has gotten way longer than planned 😂