#arrow meta

Hello Nonnie!!!! I am so happy you reached out :) Apologies for the delay. I haven't checked my inbox for about a week. You write so beautifully!

To be honest, I've always marched to the beat of my own drum. I was a sick kid and had difficulty making friends because of it. I was teased in school a lot because of my health issues. Elementary school was not fun. I liked my mom and I liked being home. (These things really haven't changed). The Lord blessed me with a great imagination and a love for stories. I would just play by myself because the world I invented was so much cooler than reality.

It did give me a very strong independent streak, which my parents encouraged. The world had been very cruel to them as well. I was highly encouraged to stand up for myself, tell people where to stick it, and not care what other people think.

I was much healthier in high school and made a bunch of friends. But even my friends, who I know love me to this day, thought it was weird how obsessed I was with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My family thought I joined a cult lol. I just like what I like. It never mattered to me if anyone else liked it.

I find it absolutely insane that anyone looks down on love stories. Love stories have been around for as long as there's been human beings on this planet. Every culture has love stories. Why? Love is central to being human. Love is what MAKES us human. We are here on this planet to be loved and to love in return. It's the whole damn point. And I'm not speaking just about romance. We build our lives around all kinds of different relationships. It is not exclusive to romantic love.

But let's address romantic stories, since that seems to be the genre asshats have a problem with. The question is why? Probably because it's popular with women and God forbid we'd be supportive of women and things they like. The horror. I think you absolutely nailed it here:

Despite knowing it comes from a sexist place which loves to shame women for enjoying romance and reduce our enjoyment to a surface level guilty pleasure...

But sometimes I think there are more personal reasons people have such vile reactions to it. Maybe they don't have romantic love in their own life. Maybe they've been hurt by partners. Maybe they've been rejected and are lonely. Maybe romance stories are a painful reminder of what they don't have. I'm not sure. What I do know is that hurt people hurt people. So, more often than not, what I feel is not shame, but pity.

We're clearly on the right track since every television show, movie, book and comic book has some romantic element to it. Romance sells. So, feel confident because you are in the majority.

I don't give the comic book crowd too much thought. My attitude when it came to Arrow was there's plenty of room for everyone to love what they love, hate what they hate, and go about their merry way. Don't like my blog? Cool. There's the door. Plenty of fish in the sea friends. Seek out other bloggers. Start your own blog! The internet is a vast place. Go with God.

But there is an element of ownership within that community that makes them think they can dictate who can watch a show/movie, what we can like or dislike, who can portray the characters on screen, what stories should be told and how they should be told. It's not just romance. Comic book fans are LOUD about basically everything.

To a certain extent, I get it. You love a character and their stories for a long time. It's very exciting when those stories which only existed on paper are going to be brought to life onscreen. Comic books are a refuge for many people, no different than books or movies. So, it can be very upsetting when you don't feel the tv show or movie has met your expectations. I've been bummed out on more than one occasion with books being made into a movie or television show. We've all been there.

But that doesn't mean they get to be the bouncers at the door. They don't get to gatekeep. They don't get to be racists assholes when an actor or actress doesn't look exactly like the character on the page. They are entitled to their opinion, and their opinion only, but it does not give them a free pass to be hateful towards others who may disagree.

I don't want to single out comic book fans out - this is a general internet problem. People just become assholes behind a keyboard. They say things they would never have the guts to say in person. And clearly this is not ALL comic book fans. I have met many wonderful comic book fans who are welcoming and kind. They love Olicity just as much as I do. Even if they didn't, they respect differing opinions. They are just good human beings overall.

In the beginning of my blog, I debated with antis a lot because I thought we were all just having fun. But when the death threats started because I like Olicity and believed Arrow was going to kill off Laurel Lance, then I reached a point where maybe I was dealing with people who were a few paper plates short of a picnic, if ya know what I'm mean. It's a TELEVISION SHOW. These characters are NOT REAL. But there's no reasoning with crazy.

Do you know who are huge comic book fans? Greg Berlanti and Marc Guggenheim. We're talking HARD CORE. And who created Olicity? Greg and Marc. Don't even get me started on the hate they receive.

I know there were entire Reddit threads devoted to trashing me and my blog. Did I read it? No. Did I engage with those people? No. When Stephen Amell's Facebook became a cesspool of terrible antis going after Olicity fans - I left. Did I read the messages in my inbox that were nasty? Nope. DELETED. Did I read the Lauriver tag on tumblr? Nope. We were North and South. The Red Sox and the Yankees. We were never going to agree, so you stay on your side and I'll stay on mine. And when some in the Olicity fandom turned on me because I was still enjoying the show in later seasons, I unfollowed and blocked if necessary. It really boils down to this - can you disagree with someone and remain a polite and kind person? Many folks do not have this skill.

The key to mental health on the internet is control your environment. Do not engage with people who are mean. It's really that simple. Because no matter how "strong" you are mentally, over time, nasty and demeaning comments have a way of sinking in and taking root inside your mind. It's completely understandable that your feelings get hurt because that's the intention! They are trying to hurt you. They are trying to shame you. So don't give them the opportunity.

Does that mean there will be some websites, blogs, social media sites that you don't go to anymore? Yes. Does that mean there will be some fans you don't engage with? Yes. But you know what? The internet is a vast place and there are plenty of people out there who share your opinions. Who love what you love and want nothing more than to chat with you about it until 4 am in the morning. Those are your people. That's your community.

And just for the record, romance loving shippers can be terrible too. I've seen awful behavior from our side of the fence so we're certainly not exempt from the behavior we receive from antis. And loving romance is no guarantee people will be nice either. My shipper flag was forged in the fiery pits of shipper hell - The Vampire Diaries fandom. Nasty doesn't even come close to what I experienced in the great Stelena vs. Delena wars. Arrow is child's play in comparison.

Here's the thing. Arrow is about one man's evolution to a superhero. He could not become that superhero without the love of one woman. LOVE is central to Oliver Queen's development and if you don't understand that part of the story then you really don't understand Arrow.

I think you'll find when it comes to Arrow that it's not romance antis have a problem with. It's who Oliver's romantic partner is. If it was Laurel Lance they would've been happier than clams. But Arrow deviated from "comic book canon" and developed an organic character with an actress Stephen Amell actually had chemistry with. And they CANNOT get over it. But thems the breaks.

I think my perspective on humanity has not really evolved past age six in kindergarten. If you make fun of me or are cruel then you're not a nice person and I will have nothing to do with you going forward. I've approached life like this and overall I have come out the other side a healthier person because of it. The beauty of the internet is there's always another playground to find friends.

I've always been a shipper since I was a little kid. I could never understand why Bobby & Pam couldn't work it out on Dallas. Loved every single husband Erica Kane had on All My Children. (My mother let me watch some wildly inappropriate tv as a kid). I was really torn between Prince Lotor and Keith for Princess Allura on Voltron. I really didn't understand why He-Man and She-Ra couldn't date. I was obsessed with Jerrica and Rio on Jem. And on and on it goes.

In the immortal words of our Queen, Taylor Swift, "The worst kind of person is someone who makes someone feel bad, dumb or stupid for being excited about something.” She's bang on. Always trust in TSwizzle. I'm a 42 year old woman with a full life who wears her shipper flag proudly. Love what you love my friend. Screw the haters.

And feel free to message me whenever you want to talk shipping. This is a shipper safe zone and always will be. You have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of.

I think before becoming a dad, Tommy would be worried about being a bad dad. Even with setting aside Malcolm's more genocidal tendencies, he wasn't exactly a great dad. He wasn't ever there when Tommy needed him and didn't present as a particularly great role modal. And Tommy's other role modal as a kid was Robert Queen who was also not the greatest - how many affairs did that man have that we have confirmed? - and Moira was better than them but still... questionable in her parenting choices. His mom died when he was pretty young, so... I think he'd be very nervous about becoming a parent himself.

What if he screws it up?

And the second his first baby is put in his arms, he'd fall in love.

He'd be wanting to do all the thing for his kid(s) that his dad never did for him. Taking pictures all over the place of everything his kid did and probably posting them for his friends and family to see on an app like Tinybeans (a great way to share photos without making them public, especially a bonus when he's a rich, minor local celebrity in Star City). He'd be trying to keep his kids out of the papers and away from publicity as best he can.

The first time his has to ground his kid over something, he probably cries. "I'm being too harsh, I'm a mean, terrible parent." Oliver probably listening over the phone and trying not to laugh at him.

He probably gets super invested in the plots of children's programming - he watches Paw Patrol and loves it. (My nephew loves that show and it really is cute.)

I think he'd want to be the stay at home parent, though he'd pick up something to work on after all the kids are in school all day. Probably involved in volunteer work for the re-opened clinic his mom started. Something where it would be easy for him to take off from if his kids were sick or had school events that needed a parental volunteers.

I think he'd be better at setting boundaries with his kids than Robert and Moira, but he'd also make sure his kids knew that if they call him after curfew drunk or whatever and ask him to come get them. He'd rather they come home safe than yell at them for screwing up. And I can see him also making that offer to some of his kids friends who perhaps don't have attentive parents and the like.

He probably does get called up too, though by his kids or their friends? Doesn't really matter, Tommy's there when those kids need him to be. And really, that's the kind of dad Tommy'd be in the end; the kind of dad he wished he had as a kid.

Specifically I want to talk about the difference between the way Oliver kisses Felicity in 3x01 vs 5x20. 

Look at this tragic melodramatic boy in 3x01. Look at how desperately he grabs her face. Because he can’t be the Arrow and be with her but HE HAS FEELINGS, DAMMIT!: 

He holds her face so close to make her FEEL how much he feels:

Such an impatient boy. All fired up. He’s never felt anything like this before, and if he doesn’t express it right this moment, he might EXPLODE!:

But wait, what is this!? It’s even better than he imagined, better than he ever could have guessed, and that fiery passion shifts, becomes deeper, and OH SHIT he starts to realize he’s in for a lot more pain than he was expecting:

The poor baby. So in love with Felicity but so CERTAIN they couldn’t be together, that he would have to put his love on the back burner for his mission. So certain he could. But then, in the course of this one kiss, he starts to realize this wasn’t just any kiss. And he starts to understand, it’s not just any love. Poor baby Oliver. He has no idea what he’s in for. 

* * * 

OKAY BUT NOW!! Let’s compare that to the 5x20 kiss(es). Here we have a much different Oliver. An older, more mature Oliver. An Oliver who has experienced the kind of love that only comes once in a life time and lost it. 

This Oliver would never be so cavalier with something like Felicity’s love. This Oliver has learned his lesson. He is infinitely more cautious. When she kisses him, he doesn’t seize her, doesn’t grab her face and force her to take his emotions. He waits, to see what she will do. He remembers how much it hurt when she walked away after that first kiss; he remembers even better how much it hurt when she walked away after they broke up, and how much it still hurts every day:

And so he holds his breath when she kisses him, waiting to be sure she really means it, because this Oliver isn’t taking any chances:

And when she goes in for a second kiss, that’s when he lets himself breathe, and kiss her back, because this is the chance he’s hoped for, waited for, but never let himself expect. And he sure as hell isn’t going to waste it:  

A final shitty gif because duh. Now everyone go watch the scene ;)

Oliver has multiple people whom he refers to as his brothers. And I think that designation means a lot whenever he gives it, but I think it holds the most weight in reference to Tommy. I think Oliver and Tommy truly considers each other brothers. 

In a lot of ways Oliver was really more of an only child; Thea is ten years younger than him (it seems likely that it was Moira and Robert’s intent to have only the one kid) so he would have spent the first ten years of his life without siblings, and even after, the relationship between a four-year-old and a fourteen-year-old  or a twelve-year-old and a twenty-two-year-old is not going to be the type of relationship that you think of when you think of siblings. But Oliver did have Tommy, who was also an only child. 

There are multiple conversations where Tommy references seeing Robert like a father. The most significant scene is the conversation at the Chinese restaurant in 1x16 where Tommy talks about his issues with Malcolm and starts listing the things that Robert did for him. But one of his main points with that is that Malcolm left for two years when he was 8, and then after he returned basically froze Tommy out. And because of that Tommy spent most of his time at Oliver’s house. In a way, Tommy was adopted into the Queen family (which is really interesting from Moira and Robert’s perspective considering that the Malcolm affair must have happened right after his return from Nanda Parbat, and that the Robert knew about this or found out at some point. But that’s besides the point). Ever since his mother died, the Queen’s have been the main source of Tommy’s familial relationships. For Oliver’s part, he doesn’t seem to even really remember the time before Tommy’s mother died. Tommy is just a constant presence in his childhood. 

Before the island, Oliver seemed to have had a fair number of people he spent time with, from conversations we see him have with Samantha, Laurel, McKeena, Max Fuller and more. But apart from his family and Laurel, the only person he sought out after coming back from the island is Tommy. Or rather, Tommy is the only one who sought him out. All those people Oliver partied with are nowhere to be found. But Tommy is right there. And Tommy is the one who went all the way to Hong Kong when there was something going on with Oliver’s email--- not even Moira did that. But Tommy did. And Tommy tried to look out for Thea while he was “dead”. And Tommy is present at multiple family only events in the first few episodes of the series. Tommy is firmly a part of the Queen family.

It’s sometimes hard to see what the real core of their relationship is because Tommy is so bad at being emotionally vulnerable (especially at first, and then as he gets better at that, they’re fighting so that affects things), and Oliver is lying about literally everything during that time, but it seems like there’s something really unique in the way they connect, in what they bring out in each other. Oliver is a grounding influence for Tommy, a source of stability during the worst point in his life. And throughout season 1 you see Tommy wanting to connect with Oliver and be vulnerable and talk with him. But with his own struggles, and Oliver’s issues, and half of the stuff they would talk about being Laurel, he just can’t. 

But for Oliver, Tommy is this link to the best parts of who he was before the island. With Tommy, Oliver is more able to have fun and enjoy himself. Oliver never really gets back the part of him that we see even up through the season 1 flashbacks-- the person who jokes around and laughs a lot and is relaxed around other people and who trusts easily-- but there’s glimpses of that person when he’s with Tommy. (I might go so far as to say that Barry reminds Oliver of Tommy in some ways). 

Even years after Tommy dies, his is always among the first deaths that Oliver mentions when he talks about what he’s lost. This was Oliver’s oldest friend, for a long time his closest confidant, the person who knew him best, the person who never judged him (even when he deserved it), the only person from before the island who stuck with him through everything, the person who welcomed him back from the dead without any expectations. And the one person who he had just a completely uncomplicated comradery with.  That’s why at some of his lowest moments in later seasons, it was Tommy who pulled Oliver through. In both  “Three Ghosts” and “Living Proof” Tommy is the one Oliver imagines there telling him to keep fighting-- not his mother, not Laurel, not his father or Yao Fei or Shado. Tommy. And more than that Tommy tells him in “Three Ghosts” “you’re a hero” and then in “Living Proof” tells Oliver that his best traits are “loyalty, selflessness, courage and compassion”. Both these moments are huge in influencing Oliver’s concept of himself. And it’s Tommy’s voice that he allows to make that impact. Tommy is the one who’s faith in him means so much. Tommy is the one who he trusts to tell him that he’s worthwhile. Tommy he trusts to call him a hero. 

And then it hit me...the reason it has to be Oliver Queen is because in order for a sacrifice to be made, the cost in exchange has to be worth something of greater or equal value. Oliver Queen's life...for the multiverse.

The one who least deserves to lose his life...is the only one whose life and ultimate act will be valuable enough to counteract the crisis.

The reason Oliver's sacrifice carries the highest weight is because his life carries the highest benefit. We've seen the effect of a world without Oliver Queen...and how much more that world suffers. But it is only by losing the hero most worth keeping that everyone else can be saved. If the hero were anything less than truly worthy, then the hero's death would have no merit, and the salvation it ensues would be void.

Life is precious, and the essence of heroism is to die so that others might live. This has always been Oliver Queen's story. This is who he is. His journey has been a chain of smaller sacrifices and heroic acts linked together, forging him into someone better...something better, something beyond even other heroes. A paragon. The ultimate example. Every difficult choice, every lesson learned, every loss...has all been to prepare him for this.

The greatest gift--saving humanity, saving life itself--comes at the highest price, from the heart strongest enough to bear the weight.

I haven’t watched a minute of season 8. Not the premiere, not the crossover... I haven’t even watched any promos. For me, the show ended with 7x22. I have no regrets about that. I’m good with it. I like how 7x22 ended. There was nothing s8 had to offer that I needed to see to give me any more closure on the show than that. And yes, I include Oliver meeting his children. That’s nice and all and I’m glad to hear that some people really enjoyed that. I know I wouldn’t have. Not the same way at least. Felicity wasn’t there, so it would have felt hollow to me. That’s how I feel about the whole season, the crossover, everything. Felicity isn’t there. Even Oliver and his journey, which I’ve enjoyed, isn’t something I want to see without Felicity there. Because it was her that made him someone I enjoy. An Oliver without Felicity isn’t someone I really care to see. 

I’ve sorta followed along with the show via twitter, so I have a basic idea of what’s happened. Anything I’ve ever seen has only reinforced my decision. 

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. This is about Oliver being dead or alive as of the end of the crossover. I’m not buying that he’s DEAD dead. I think, from what I’ve been told about the crossover, that they set up a scenario where Oliver created a haven for himself, where he has gone to be. “But isn’t that heaven?” No, not in the sense that we regard heaven. Not from what I understand about the comics and how they handled this whole crisis nonsense there. 

And hey, maybe that’s not it at all. But it would explain why he didn’t come home to his family. If he was just over in Paris the last 20 years having a tea while Felicity raised their kids alone, that’d be pretty terrible, imo. 

At the end of 7x22, Felicity walked through a portal to be with Oliver. I believe that while the future was altered, that still happened. Felicity still left, after the children were raised and ready, to be with Oliver. I believe that she will be reunited with him. I do not believe she went through the portal to DIE and be taken to heaven. That’s goofy. Why not just drive off a bridge and go that way? 

I believe that portal was shown in case Emily could not come back for the finale. They wanted us to know that Olicity would be together. Now... Marc has said that it was good Emily came back because they could not have done the finale without her. Could be hyperbole but it also could be that they reshaped things. Either way, I believe Felicity will be reunited with Oliver. Full stop. 

Marc and Beth have done the PR Parade, reaffirming Oliver’s death. I don’t care. I remember when this was done after 3x09 too. I remember Beth swearing up and down that Felicity would not be pregnant or have a baby in s7 too. These guys have lied to protect their spoilers before. You know who hasn’t lied? David Ramsey. And David said he thought we’d be happy with the ending. 

I do think he was speaking to Olicity fans being happy with Olicity being reunited. Naturally there are some who will be upset with the Paradise Dimension/20 years thing. But I don’t think it was those fans he was speaking of.