#aroace questioning

Hey, so, I understand the complexity of trying to determine your sexuality in your teens and while being a girl there’s a huge pressure to be attracted to men, let alone just having attraction in general.

However given how complex it is, I want you to know I ID’d as Bi from when I was 14, the only difference is I’m now oriented AroAce. Trust me, you’re not too young, and even if you don’t know your sexuality now, there’s nothing wrong with trying out the labels and exploring. Just make sure you’re in a safe place to do so if you ever plan to come out.

As for your friend, well, I’ve experienced that many times in my life and even got to,d I could never be ace and it was likely a reflection of my trauma, but no one knows you better than you, and honestly she doesn’t sound too supportive. I would- provided you feel safe- talk to her about how even if she feels you’re too young, that you’re never too young.

Many people figure out their sexuality between the ages of twelve and sixteen. I know my sister for the longest time ID’d as Bi and later came out as Pan. I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with ID’ing as AroAce at fifteen and you’re not too young to determine your own sexual and romantic attraction.

Plus even if you happen to be wrong, and you’re not AroAce, you can always change labels later. I encourage you to explore your sexuality and I encourage you to try out the label, if it fits and you feel comfortable, then keep it.

There’s nothing wrong if later down the line you come out and decide you’re not AroAce or even A-Spec. Questioning and Exploration should be encouraged, and you’re allowed to label yourself as you see fit because no one else can determine this but yourself.

There’s no age limit on asexuality, there’s no limit on aromantism. I heavily encourage that yes, you’re allowed to explore if you’re A-spec, and hell, both mods here are here to listen and help if you ever need to ask questions or talk about it.

Sorry about the long piece of text, I just understand how confusing it can be to try and explore and pick your labels when someone tries to exclaim you’re too young.

You’re not. You know yourself better than anyone else and no one else can determine your attraction for you. I hope things stay safe for you and you and your friend can have a nice talk, where she is more accepting. If not I would look into finding people who can respect your choices better.

I hope that no matter what you decide in the future, you don’t deny yourself labels that you feel fit at the time, you’re harming no one by questioning and trying them out, even if you change them later on.

- Mod D