#arksart

He’s coming together!!! (This isn’t done yet). I REALLY like him so far. I tend to be really indecisive when it comes to fursonas (so I’ve had like 4 over time) but maybe this one will last haha 😅

He’s based off of me a lot—he has the same piercings and tattoos in the same spots (though they’re altered because my tattoos are too intricate to put on something I wanna be able to draw a lot/quickly). And he’s built the same way I am: hips and shoulders the same width, realllyy small ribcage, scoliosis, arch deformity (I’ll probably make it more obvious in subsequent drawings), the same top/gynecomastia/whatever surgery scars from not having a big chest pre-surgery because I’m intersex… I’ll probably draw him with the same genital differences too, until I get bottom surgery when I’ll draw him with bigenitals.

It’s also the first fursona I’ve had that’s represented my dissociative part as well. One thing we’re working toward is to seeing ourselves as one so this is really helpful in that regard and it makes me love him even more, as well as making him finally feel represented in my art and the way I see myself :)

I want to feel sexy while using a cane while being deformed—this helps.

OKAY!

Here he is, finished! Finally!

I’m really happy with how he turned out.

He’s kinda meant to be a reflection of myself (and my part /plural). I gave him a lot of the qualities about myself that I have learnt to love—he’s deformed (I might make it a bit more visible in subsequent drawings), auDHD, intersex, and still meant to be sexually appealing and in control. i struggled for a long time to feel both sexy and in control in sexual situations. Either I’ve been desexualised for being disabled or fetishised for being trans/intersex. Both resulted in me just feeling like my sexuality wasn’t mine.

I also love how I’ve represented both me and my part. Past fursonas have all been just me but, because of that, they represented more my identity and less my lived experience as somebody with OSDD. This one feels more representative of my life and I like that! Especially as somebody who is only recently coming to terms with it.

I also included a lot of traits that people tend to assume don’t go together. She’s a smart slut, an autistic partygoer who likes video games, a deformed cane user that loves travelling new places. I hate feeling like people assume stuff about me, so I guess I wanted to make a character with all of the traits that people assume I don’t have.

I also love her tattoos. They don’t perfectly mirror my own as the ones on my sides wouldn’t have worked well on them, but I think the end result is really cool.

Update on the piece in my pfp!

I draw really slowly, I know. And I’ve only been doing it like an hour a day or so, not long enough to get far on a painting style piece like this, at least not for me

Mostly black and white Azaril doodles

Some updated depictions of Azaril! And some lore drop/edits.

Azaril grew up on the island of Solstheim in the third era, years ~370-385, with a khajiiti mother and a dunmeri father. Both of Azaril’s parents were mages, so it’s unclear whether khajiit can, in fact, interbreed with mer, or whether they took some magical precautions to have a child. Either way, Azaril is the result: he looks almost completely like a dagi-raht khajiit, aside from in his eyes. He also has notably pronounced and sharp facial structure, to a point that can seem off-putting to other khajiit.

Azaril grew up surrounded by magic and snow. She has a natural aptitude for fire magic and a seemingly contradictory love for the winter (but then again, who wouldn’t love the cold when you could heat yourself up with a fire spell every time you got chilly?). She is very magically talented and primarily is a mage, though she also has some skill as a sneak (i.e., one handed, light armour, sneak, agility, speed) that she can use if, for some reason, she can’t use her magic.

Despite being a very amicable person, Azaril is often viewed as mysterious or intimidating by strangers.

(Arena) Azaril freed the Emperor from Jagar Tharn and was hailed as a hero, becoming the emperor’s most trusted companion.

But in 3E400, Azaril was sent to investigate the Archmage of the Cyrodil Mage’s Guild (who had secretly been serving Molag Bal). Xe was unprepared for the extent of the Archmage’s worship and lost to Molag Bal, who (ecstatic to sully the blood of the emperor’s closest friend and advisor) turned xem into a vampire. The emperor, against Molag’s expectations, allowed Azaril to live, provided xe fed off of thieves and assassins and such. So xe was said to have died and was forced to give up their fame and live, with their new vampiric appearance, as a noble moved from a faraway land.