#arkive

- - - There are these moments in life that seem completely and utterly perfect and today was one of them. Floating out on the seas, the sun shone high amongst a clear sky, it was not too cool, not too hot, the waters were not choppy, no enemies for miles upon miles. Today was perfect. And of course, you spent that perfect day outside, lounging around, playing games on the deck, doing whatever really to ensure the day wasn’t wasted. 

Killer joined the festivities, his mask reflecting the sunlight in a way that made it seem like he was quite literally glowing. Each subtle turn of his head cast the sun's rays in your eyes, prompting playful chastising from your end.

You two found a moment alone, leaning against the ship’s railing, watching as the sunlight reflected amongst the waves. “The ocean looks different every day, doesn’t it?” you mused, breaking the comfortable silence. “I could never get tired of it.”

He nodded, preferring to watch you rather than the horizon. “It’s certainly mesmerizing,” he agreed, though those words were more meant for you rather than the sea. 

The moment seemed perfect, sun shining down on the two of you, the world quiet and still, and you, right beside him, close enough to touch. Killer took a deep breath to steady himself, and he started, his words carefully chosen, “Hey, can I tell you something?”

You turned to face him, a curious smile lighting up your features. “What is it, Killer?” you asked, eyes bright with interest as you leaned slightly closer to him. 

He hesitated, the confession perched right on the tip of his tongue. But before he could continue, you interrupted his thoughts with a teasing remark. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you were about to confess your undying love for me.”

Fuck.

His mind blanked, the carefully crafted confession instantaneously vanishing into thin air. Your words hit like a bucket of cold water, leaving him momentarily stunned. The laughter that followed your statement was teasing and light, but it did nothing to subdue the rising conflict in emotions within him. Killer opened his mouth to respond, but the words got tangled in his throat.

You chuckled, clearly amused by his reaction. “Relax, relax, just teasing,” you reassured, giving him a gentle nudge. “What were you going to ask?”

The moment had slipped through his fingers and the confession died beneath the wave of playful banter, not that he could ever get mad at you for that, anyway. He managed a smile, the words of his heart retreating to their depths once more as he replied, “Not quite.” He shook his head, pushing out a soft laugh of his own as he hid the frustration with humor. “Guess you’ll have to keep guessing.”

You grinned, clearly enjoying the exchange. “Alright, I’ll get it out of you eventually,” you promised.

While the moment had slipped away, you remained. And for now, that was enough. - - - Something had undeniably shifted after that encounter with Kaidou, after Killer ate that damn smile fruit. The fruit had stolen his ability to express any emotion besides happiness, twisting his laughter into a constant, cruel reminder of what he had lost. No matter how much he tried to control it, the laughter would mock him at the most inopportune moments.

Tonight was no different. The two of you sat on the deck of the Victoria Punk with the moon overhead, the soft source of light casting just enough of a glow for you two to make out each other's features. You were talking, your voice bubbling with melodious laughter as you recounted a funny story from earlier in the day.

He watched you, the smile beneath his mask nothing short of obsessive adoration as you rambled on, each syllable that you graced him with was a spark, igniting a fire within him that he longed to nurture with the truth he had hidden away. It was a struggle before to get his words of confession out, always right on the precipice before something shattered it. Yet, in his current state, he couldn’t even bear to think of you for too long before it started to hurt. It pains him, knowing that his advances have been set back even further because of the failure of a Devil Fruit planting seeds of insecurities that festered and consumed him unlike anything else in this world. 

As he listened to you, that warmth spread through his chest, combining with the constant dull ache of words unspoken. He was a prisoner of himself. He felt a desperate urge to break free, to let his true feelings rise and breach the waves.

As your laughter persisted, joy enveloped him and for a moment, he was swept away by the fantasy of what could be. The moonlight had painted your features in soft hues, illuminating the smile that never failed to make his heart race. And the longer he stared at you, the more those fantasies started to feel like a reality he could just reach out and grab. 

Before he knew it, he was speaking, the inkling of a confession rolling off his tongue as he started, “I… there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” But just as the words hovered on the brink of escape, the laughter erupted, uncontrollable and wild. It spilled from his lips, tormenting him by grabbing the fragile confession and drowning it. His own voice betraying him was nothing but a cruel jest.

Your own laughter faded as you looked at him, your own features flooding with confusion and concern. “Are you okay,” you asked, bringing your voice down as you tried to navigate the situation. 

He wanted to scream, to tell you that he was trapped in this unrelenting cycle of torture that he couldn’t break. But all he could do was nod, the laughter still bubbling up, a mocking refrain that refused to be silenced. 

Frustration wound tight within him and he turned away, unable to meet your gaze as shame burned through him. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” he managed to choke out.  You wanted so desperately to know what was going through the blond’s mind, to get a glimpse of what he was really feeling at the moment, but you were not granted more than a second of wondering before he excused himself and walked off, leaving you in a state of confusion. - - - Killer let out a deep breath, unfolding the letter in his hands and reading it for the thousandth time. He had convinced himself that this was the only way to confess to you- the paper in front of him contained words that he could only dream of saying out loud to you.

As he read over the letter once more, you burst into the room unannounced, interrupting his thoughts. His eyes shot up to you through his mask, nervousness freezing him in his place.

You noticed the way that he froze up and your original purpose for coming into the room screeched to a stop as you asked, “Are you okay?” 

Killer sighed, accompanied by the laughter you had gotten used to, the laughter you often looked forward to. “Yeah, I’m okay. Did you need anything?”  voice wavered as his eyes glanced down at the letter in his hands with yours following.

Your curiosity piqued, your attention zeroed in on the piece of paper in his hands. “What’s that you got there?” you asked, stepping forward your interest only increasing as you watched him fumble to fold the letter as if he was trying to hide its contents from you.

Before he had a chance to hide anything, you reached out, your hand gently covering his to stop his movements. “Whatever it is, you know that you can tell me.”

The letter let out an audible crinkle as he gripped the paper tighter, his body hesitating at the thought of giving the letter to you. He had fantasized about this moment for nights on end, dreaming about the day he could lay his heart out bare for you. Each scenario played out perfectly in his head, yet none of the dozens of scenarios unfolded like this. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself from handing the letter to you, locking in this version of events. Despite the strained laughter that spilled from his lips, every cell in his body screamed nervousness, from the slight tremor in the hand that passed the paper to you, to the vein in his jaw that was evidence of how hard he was clenching his jaw. The contents of the paper were a mystery and you found yourself almost too eager to unveil them.

You unfolded the paper, your eyes scanning the words etched onto it. Killer silently thanked the mask that covered his face, concealing the scarlet that flushed his features. Each and every word of his bare feelings sent your heart racing. Declarations of love, confessions he never dared utter aloud, and the fear that his uncontrollable laughter would ruin any chance at a sincere confession- all of it was there quite literally in the palm of your now shaky hands.

His eyes darted around before landing on the space between your feet, the silence certainly not helping his nerves. He stood there, seemingly frozen, as he waited for your reaction, breath caught in his throat. 

You looked up from the letter, your gaze filled with a mixture of about a dozen emotions- surprise, affection, relief, and something deeper. Killer’s own eyes locked with yours and you could hear the struggle to stifle the laughter that bubbled up in his throat. You took a step closer, folding the letter in one hand as the other reached out to him. 

“Killer,” you whispered, your voice filled with that same mix of emotions. You didn’t know quite what to say at the moment, opting for a different approach. 

You reached up, delicate fingers hesitantly gripping the bottom of the metallic mask. You gently lift the mask, your eyes locked on each inch of skin revealed with the passing moments. You stopped when the mask revealed the tip of his nose. Your hand moved to cup his face and your thumb ran over the skin, dedicating the feeling to memory. You leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek, watching as he tensed up beneath you, breath catching in his throat. If you could see his eyes, they would be as big as saucers at the action. 

The kiss lingered for a moment, the touch conveying what your own words couldn’t. You pulled back, taking a moment to pull the mask off completely and admire his features. His face was always softer than you imagined, the contours of his face complimenting him perfectly. The eyes, once hidden, now bore into your soul, pulling you in with each passing second. And those lips, the parted flesh painted a purple that you can’t help but want to smear at the moment. His breath was still uneven and he swallowed the laughter that usually would have presented itself by now, a thick silence filling the air. 

“Killer,” you whispered once again, your voice steady as you attempted to find the right words. “Thank you… I didn’t know you felt the same way… I mean, I had this gut feeling, but seeing it here…” you held up the letter, the paper trembling slightly. “It means everything to me.”

You saw his muscles ease as relief washed over him. You couldn’t help but break out into a smile at the newfound warmth spreading through you two. You squeezed his hand gently, letting out a soft chuckle as the tension melted between the two of you. 

Without a word, you leaned in once again and met his lips in a kiss- a kiss of longing, making up for last time, complete and utter affection. It was a gentle kiss, expressing all the words you didn’t say. For a moment, everything couldn’t have been more perfect and the only thing in the world was the warmth of his lips against yours.