#arcelormittal orbit

The ArcelorMittal Orbit is claimed to be the world’s tallest and longest tunnel slide. It is currently closed for refurbishment and will open again in 2025. I haven't been on it which made me think when was the last time I went on a slide and did I think that would be the last time I went on a slide? Because I couldn't answer these profound questions, I really must take a ride on this slide when it re-opens.

That thin little corkscrew pipe has got to be the most terrifying ride in London. I was at the top of the slide watching the tourists inching closer to the entrance, wrapping their elbows up in protective pads and bashing a crash helmet onto their head. Then they sit on the tray and crack a few jokes to try and convince their friends that they’re not absolutely petrified… and disappear. They literally vanish in a nanosecond. One second they’re there, and the next second all that remains is the trailing end of a high-pitched scream.

ArcelorMittal Orbit Construction, London, UK, 2012 - Cecil Balmond and Anish Kapoor

Day 1379, 2 April 2022

The ArcelorMittal Orbit is an 80-metre high observation platform next to the old Olympic Stadium, and that twisting grey pipe down the side is the most terrifying ride in London. I really cannot stress enough how terrifying this ride is. You sit at the entrance of the tube on a shiny mat, say some prayers, and then you vanish in a nanosecond. One second you're there, and the next second all that remains is the trailing end of a high-pitched scream. One guy came out the bottom with his hair on fire - that's how fast he was going. Another one travelled back in time two weeks.

This tangled knot of Christmas lights is the ArcelorMittal Orbit observation tower by the old Olympic stadium. That thick grey band that wraps around it is a walkway that takes you up to the top, but there's a much quicker way down... can you see that thin, twisting grey pipe? That's the scariest ride in London. You sit on a flimsy little mat and then an assistant pushes you into a metal hole and you... disappear. Disappear quicker than a blink. This ride is quicker than Concorde. When you get to the bottom half-a-nanosecond later you are travelling so fast you actually travel back in time to before you got on.

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