#arax

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You were sitting in what would’ve been your dining room, if you hadn’t turned it into a nook now that you were able to afford the bookshelves to put all your books in the room. It was early enough in the morning that Arax wasn’t awake yet, or he just wasn’t showing himself to you at that moment. It didn’t take long for you to realize, even before you two were ‘official’ that despite being dead, Arax actually took the time to sleep now that you knew he existed. He told you it was to pass the time in the beginning, but you noticed after a bit that he would gradually get tired whenever it was around the time he usually slept, like his body was just on a clock.

But as you were tucked in the chair you put in the corner of the room, book in your hands, you felt someone touch your hair on the top of the chair, then the lingering feeling of cold lips on your cheek. Your eyes glanced up from the words on the pages, but you didn’t see anything and you rolled your eyes, a smile spreading on your lips. “C’mon A’, show yourself.”

He did as was told, appearing in the bookshelf closest to you on your right, but he was floating, looking at the books on the top shelf. “You didn’t take long to call me out.”

“You didn’t take long to start messing with me,” you responded. Arax shrugged and went down before his feet touched the rug on the hardwood floor. “How’d you sleep?”

“Fine, I guess…it was just spending time in a dark void, if I’m being honest. I’m guessing you didn’t get any sleep, since you’re up at-” he moved to the kitchen, looking at the clock on the microwave “-Jesus Christ, it’s seven in the morning, you need to go to bed.”

“For the record, I did go to sleep, you’re just an old man and go to bed earlier than I do. And I’m not tired, so I’m getting some reading done.” He hummed, going back in the room before finding his seat on the floor in front of your chair, head finding its spot between your calves. “You alright?”

He nodded, for a beat, but you noticed his eyes training on the ground, so you nudged him with your foot. “Hey- what’s up? Talk to me, sweet thing.”

“It’s nothing, I promise, I’ve just been thinking about things.”

“What sort of things?” you asked. “You do know you can tell me anything right? Like no matter how dumb it may be.”

“I know,” he sighed. “It’s just- We can’t do things. Like what people do in shows or in movies. I can’t even court you correctly, for god’s sake. It just makes me feel like you’re better off with someone less like me and more…alive.”

You didn’t respond for a bit, shutting your book and setting it on the table beside your chair, leaning down to run your fingers through his hair and then grasp one of his hands with your free one. “You get that if I wanted something like that, I wouldn’t have stuck around for a year, right? We’ve been together for a long time, I don’t need dates out in public or for me to be ‘courted’. I’m happy staying at home. Movie dates are more my style anyway.”

“And what if you want something more? LIke a wedding or a family?”

“It’s the twenty-first century babes, I don’t need it to be happy. I’m fine living without spending money on a wedding or not having a kid. Even though adoption exists.”

“The other parent is a ghost, hun,” he said, looking up at you and squeezing your hand.

“Weirder people are parents. You’re fine,” you reassured, even though you did think it’d pose a thought about how to explain why one parent is never showing up to events or anything dealing with the kid because he’s dead and attached to a cabinet and can’t leave the house. You shook your head. “Look, baby steps, we’ll be fine.”

“...If you say so,” he breathed out, lifting your intertwined hands to kiss at the back of it, squeezing it again. “I wouldn’t hate you if you realized you needed someone else though.”

“Never gonna happen,” you said. “I’m quite fine not meeting new people in a romantic setting and staying with you for the rest of eternity.”

“But-”

“No,” you cut him off, moving your hand from his hair to his chin, tilting his head back so he can look up at you. “No buts, no arguing, nothing. ‘Kay?”

He took a moment, but he nodded. “...Fine.”

“Good.” You nudged him to the side so you could stand and stretch. And in the corner of your eye, you watched him stand back up, his light footsteps faintly padding on the floor before his arms wrapped around your waist and he rested his chin on your body, the coolness of his body sending a shudder down your spine, but you were used to it, so it didn’t bother you as much as it did in the beginning of your adventures with him. “‘M gonna make myself some food, you can turn on the tv and play whatever you want.”

“Could we listen to an audiobook this time?” Arax asked, and when you turned to face him, you saw his eyes all big and surprisingly glossy for a ghost, his bottom lip jutted out in a pout that he seemed to have perfected in the past year. He had quickly taken a liking to audiobooks when you introduced them to him, and he usually played one while reading the same book at the same time, and when you asked why he was doing it when you saw it happen for the first time, he answered that it made him focus on what he was reading better. You just shrugged it off and ever since you would either turn the audiobook on for him, which meant buying a cd copy half the time so he could listen to it on your old discman or you read him the book, which did in fact made for some good quality time when he was able to get himself to stay still and silently read along with you. When he wasn’t in the mood to sit still and needed to walk around the room in laps, he fortunately did make you tea most of the time to help your throat.

You nodded at his question, placing your hands on his before moving him from you and motioning towards the living room with a small kiss. “Go for it, babes.”

A little smile appeared on his face before he kissed your cheek and walked towards the living room, audibly plopping himself on the couch as he got whatever his pick of the day pulled up. You were relieved to see that he was happy now, given his earlier admissions, and with a small, quiet sigh, you walked in the kitchen and started making yourself some food, pulling out a plate, then your toaster before tossing in two slices of bread and pushing it down. As you were pulling out the butter and jam you had in the fridge, you heard a guy’s voice in the living room suddenly. You set the two things on the counter and shut the fridge with a light shove, walking out into the living room to see the Dracula book cover on your tv.

You glanced over at Arax, noticing that he was already under a quilted blanket on your couch, looking like he was as comfortable as could be. “Comfy?”

He nodded with a hum. “Yea. What’re you making for breakfast?”

“I’m making toast for myself,” you answered, the beginning of the audiobook becoming mere background noise as you walked over to him, sat on the edge of the couch and brushed your fingers against his cold skin. “You’re getting good at using all of this.”

“I have an amazing partner that lets me explore their electronics,” he responded happily, lifting himself up to plant a kiss on your jaw, causing your cheeks to heat up despite the cold touch. “If the technology people have now started back when I was alive, things would’ve gotten done so much faster…not to mention that you wouldn’t have to wait to get something if you could just order it online.”

He sighed, looking almost for longing. “You survived your time, you can now reap the benefits of the technology now that you’re in the afterlife.”

You saw him shoot you a look, and you knew you pushed a little bit with the ‘surviving your time’ bit, so you tried to backtrack. “Look, just be happy you died young. Now you’re forever in your late twenties. That means something, right?”

“I guess,” he said, moving his hand to touch yours. “I have to watch you grow old though…and it doesn’t make me feel good thinking about it.”

“Think I’m gonna get all wrinkly when I’m old? That you’re gonna be dating an old person when we’re both ghosts?” He shook his head.

“I’m more afraid that I’m gonna have to watch you forget me or something like that…and it’s not gonna feel nice watching it when you finally…pass.” Arax grew quiet but he squeezed your hand, obviously to keep himself from spirling in the thought process. “We still have time now though, right?”

You nodded. “Mhm. And even when I do kick the bucket, I doubt that I won’t remember you when I’m a ghost. Maybe whoever’s in charge of this dump’ll let me get old but make me a hot ghost. I think I’ve earned that right already.”

Your heart lurched when you heard him laugh and he nodded. But you heard the toaster pop before the conversation was able to continue. So you stood and got your breakfast finished, walking back in and sitting at his feet this time, letting him put his ankles and feet on your lap.

You two didn’t say much else for the rest of the morning, merely listening to the audiobook as you took comfort in each other on the small couch. It wasn’t a morning that usually happened nowadays, so you weren’t trying to waste it by doing anything that could be thrown aside until later.

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It’s been a week since you reassured Arax about his worries, and while it didn’t completely get rid of them, that was obvious with the way he clung to you whenever he seemed to get into a mood, or a rom com trailer turned on in the middle of a video you two turned on for background noise and he’d get upset because he can’t drag you out to the yard or a park to picnic with you. You’ve been pretty good at distracting him though.

Which is why you both were laying in the comfort of your bed, dramatic heaving coming from your ghostly boyfriend as you tried to catch your breath, reaching over to tug on a shirt, then a pair of sweats, but you didn’t get out of bed, only covered so you could warm up a bit before you went back to cuddling Arax. You felt his eyes on you, only for them to avert quickly when you looked over at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he answered, but sat up and moved closer to you. “You’re always so…pretty after we do…this.”

“You’re allowed to say the word,” you snorted, but he waved it away, planting a kiss on your neck.

“Don’t feel like it,” he said simply, laying back down and tugging you against him, tucking his head against the crook of your neck, lazily placing his lips on your skin and keeping them there as he relaxed and shut his eyes.

“I’m gonna have to go to work one time or another today,” you told him quietly, hearing him groan against you.

“Why do you never respect the post-glow?” Arax asked, glancing up at you with hooded eyes. “Do it later…”

You chuckled, shaking your head, but you relented, letting him have his time, your limbs tangling together as you traced your fingers up and down his back, your head leaning against his. “You’re bein’ really clingy recently, not that I’m complaining…but, you sure you’re alright, Arax?”

He took a moment, but nodded, slipping his arms around you and holding you tightly. “I’m fine, I’m just in my own head at the moment.”

“You wanna talk about it,” you asked him calmly, continuing dragging your warm hand up and down his skin, placing kisses on the side of his head. He shook his head and you nodded back at him. “That’s alright…if you want to later, I’ll be here to listen.”

“I know,” he mumbled, sighing against your skin. But after a pregnant pause, you heard him speak in the quietest voice you’ve ever heard him talk in, “I just wish I was born in the same era you were…”

Your eyebrows raised. “...Yea? Why’s that?”

“...Because maybe we would’ve met…been like this and I’m not constantly freezing you…or so I can actually have a dream when I sleep. I like floating…I like being able to disappear…being a ghost is fine, but I hate not being alive…” he trailed off and went silent, burying his face back in the crook of your neck before you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him flush against your body.

“I’m not going to tell you what your feeling is invalid…because it’s not. But honestly, I like you as a ghost…and yea, wouldn’t it have been nice if we could’ve met and had a world wind romance? Yea, ‘course it would, but if you were born around the time I was, we might’ve not met. And just knowing that no matter what could’ve happened…I met you because I bought this house…I think that’s nice.” You moved one of your hands, running it through his hair. “I’m not going to forget about you when I get old…and I’m not going to move on randomly with the notion that I want someone willing. ‘M with you, and I’m happy to be with you. Ghost or not. Besides, I couldn’t care less if you freeze me, it makes up for it during the summer and when I’m sick.”

You heard a muffled huffed chuckle, but he didn’t move, and you kissed the side of his head again. “Why don’t I take the day off and we just spend the rest of the day in bed? Just the two of us?”

You got him to look at you again, and you saw his lips quirk up with a soft smile as he nodded. “I think I’d like that…” You smiled down at him, nodding. “Good.”

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