He breathed out and let the darkness cloud his eyes.
But... why could he still feel?
Why could he still hear?
“ SLEN TIID VO! ”
It echoed in his head and his ears and his body.
It suddenly hurt a lot less.
He could breathe.
He could open his eyes.
Valta was above him and she was staring at something.
What in the stone?
He turned his head to the side.
He suddenly wished he had some idea of what he was looking at.
The green qunari was standing there over him but it was not just her.
There was something else there with her.
It was like it was imposed over her, bigger than her form and shaped differently. That shape was incomprehensible but it reminded him of a mine wall covered in multicolored jewels. Her red eyes had become the same blue as lyrium, as crisp and as blue as the purest lyrium.
It was quite possibly the prettiest thing he had ever seen.
Her eyes faded quickly and the qunari dropped like a rock to the ground but the green of her skin seemed dotted with little jewels.
“Ara!”
The Inquisitor and the others were practically darting to the qunari’s side but he still had no idea what was going on. Frowning, he pushed himself to a sitting position as he tried to get a better look through the throngs of the Inquisition.
Only to hear Valta’s shriek that was somewhere between joy and terror just before she threw her arms around his shoulders. He rocked back at the force of her hug but held himself steady before awkwardly patting her back.
She was a friend but he was not used to this kind of attention.
“You’re alive!” Valta’s voice held unshed tears but she seemed as bright eyed as always.
“I... yeah?” He questioned before remembering what had happened. He had been shot with something. A wound that he knew should have been fatal.
When Valta pulled away, he instantly looked down to where he knew the things had struck him clear in the chest. His eyes focused on where his armour had several new holes but there were no wounds. No injuries.
Nothing to hint at what had just happened.
“What in the stone just happened!?” He was more than a little bit bothered when the question slipped out of his mouth.
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Ara was now wishing she had ignored the elf in her dreams and her excitement to get out to see the sea again. Nothing was worth going down in one lift after another. Each one taking her deeper and deeper into the depths of the earth and through time forgotten passages.
Not that she was bothered by being down there or so she kept telling herself that because of course not, that would be silly to be frightened of these caves. She was just missing the sea and those that were up above.
That is all this is. I just miss the sky.
It had nothing to do with this damnable thudding and humming that chased every single footstep she took.
Of course, Solas did not help when he was looking at her like... she was not entirely sure what it was like. She simply did not have the words for it.
Never before had anyone stared at her quite like this.
Fear, fondness, curiosity and so many other emotions.
Those were things she was used to. And none of those were how she would describe how Solas was looking at her now.
Solas had been staring at her like he was one of those Chantry ladies with the big hats and she was that statue they had in the little temple room back at Skyhold but yet there was something else, something different. Something that made her feel even more unsettled.
It felt worse than when she mentioned making armour out of Daedra hearts and he had looked at her like she was some sort of monster.
She did not want to think about what it could mean. It already felt irritating to think of anything else.
Still, she was determined to continue on this strange little trip to discover what it was that Julianos said she should discover. So far it had been nothing more than things smelling terrible. Lots of cogs. That thrum.
Oh and apparently a huge lyrium mine.
She had understood that they had passed through one earlier but now there was apparently even one further down. To her, it was the same mine, just with different levels that spread throughout the earth.
Yet, none of what the dwarves said made any sense to her. That there was a Titan below and that caused these earthquakes. There was no way anything was big enough to do such damage. Yet, here they were, claiming that something living – and breathing – was shaking the earth. There was nothing in the world that could affect the world so rigorously.
Perhaps this Titan is a machine?
That was the only thing that made sense to her, that the Titan might be a machine instead of a living thing. Like the lifts they took to travel down into the depths of Thedas.
She still refused to believe a Titan was that big even after they went down that last massive lift and into a darkness that seemed even more oppressive before. This new tunnel was precisely that. A tunnel.
Nothing at all like the massive caverns that they had walked through along their way to this point. The ceilings were still high enough that she did not need to bow her head but everything felt so much more enclosed. Like they were too big to be walking through these caverns.
It also did not help that the stone walls looked damp.
She resisted the urge to touch them in case that was not water that was slowly dripping down them.
“What was that?”
Valta’s voice made everyone peer even harder into the darkness before them and Ara was no exception. She did not like this darkness that shrouded everything like an oppressive blanket.
She stared for several long moments before she saw them. A pair of two bright blue glowing points seemed to watch them for a moment before moving further into the dark. They had to have been eyes in the dark that were focused on them.
“What was what?” Renn answered.
“Something moved,” Valta said and Ara instinctively reached for the maul at her back. “There. Light a torch.”
She bared her teeth in annoyance and wondered if the Shaper had any real tactical battle experience. Or common sense. A torch would only make things worse for them as they could all see well enough right now.
“So it can see us coming?” Renn’s voice was completely serious, and she knew he had made the same assumption she had. That there were things here in the dark. “Just stay close.”
It was sound advice but Ara moved no closer to the others. Her weapon needed more room and the last thing she wanted to do was accidentally swing and take the dwarf’s head off.
They continued along and Ara suddenly realized that this new tunnel was not carved like the ones above. This one was natural. Complete with stalactites that further dripped like the rest of the stone surface. It was clear that no one had passed this way in more years than she knew how to count.
At least, not anyone from the world above.
“Nothing’s stopping us from going back up.” Varric’s voice was calm in the dark but it made her feel irritated for some reason.
“We’re not going back up.” Ellana said firmly in rebuke.
“Just a suggestion.” Varric sighed.
Ara blinked and looked back at the dwarf who looked quite uncomfortable. He wore a faint grimace on his face and his eyebrows were furrowed as he stared off into the dark ahead of them. It was like he was deliberately not looking in her direction.
She wondered if his suggestion for her to return to the surface had been more of an excuse for him to travel back with her.
“We’ve gone past the Deep Roads.” Valta said, keeping anyone else from voicing their opinion about the idea of returning topside.
“How can you tell? It’s pitch black.” Ellana responded.
“I can feel it.”
Ara blanched a little at the conviction in Valta’s words. That kind of response is not what you liked to hear from someone who was wandering around in the caves with you.
It was almost cult-like.
It definitely did not help when another earthquake shook the ground just after she said it and that thud in her head roared in time to it. Like her head was answering the tremor.
They continued to walk, turning around corners when suddenly Renn lifted his hand for them to stop. He peered off into the dark even as they gathered around behind him.
“Show yourselves!” He shouted into the dark.
There was the sound of chittering in the dark and for a moment, she wondered if she had somehow wandered back into the tunnels of Skyrim. It seemed just like it was when she had wandered through the old ruins far beneath the surface there and faced the twisted monsters in the dark.
The thought quickly faded as a sickening ‘thud’ seemed to echo around them and she watched Renn stumble forward to go down to one knee with a grunting noise. Strangely, it seemed as if his chest had suddenly taken on a glow, his armour giving off the faintest blue light.
Her eyes flicked past him and into the dark just as blue bits of light started shooting out at them.
This reminded her of Varric’s crossbow firing bolts or like magic but there was something different about it. Something that crackled.
She had little time to think of that when these monsters stepped into view and revealed the way they looked.
Those bright blue eyes peered out from inside heavy armour that had a blade running from side to side on the top of their helmets. Everything else was ornate and finally made with the strangest hint of blue to it. She had no idea what any other colour the armour actually was but she could see that blue.
More unsettling than that was the fact that the armour looked almost like the dwemer armour she remembered finding in the depths of Skyrim. Just prettier.
A thought that was quickly shoved aside as Renn roared before standing and striding into battle. Everyone else quickly followed behind him to defeat these strange dwarf-sized creatures.
They all once more fit into that pattern of fighting. The six of them working well as a team.
Just like the battles with the darkspawn, these creatures were no match for them now that they were fighting in close combat. It was more difficult for her to swing her weapon but she managed to keep herself in front of the others.
She had thought about picking up one of the weapons dropped by their enemies but some instinct told her not to.
It was only after the battle was done that Ara recognized that faint crackle. That familiar sense of tingling and almost pain that had come from the items that Dagna had shown her.
Lyrium.
At that same moment, Renn dropped to his knees.
Blinking in the dark, she turned to face the dwarf as he fell backwards. His eyes were open but she could tell he saw nothing. The dwarf had fought to his last breath and in death, hard earned her respect. Only, that accursed hum in her head picked up in volume with the collapse of his body.
Valta ran to his side and knelt even as strange blue wisps seemed to weave up from his chest, almost like his wound was smoking.
“You deserved better,” Valta said as she knelt beside the fallen warrior. Sadness coloured her voice but she did not cry. Her eyes never left her companion as she spoke. “Renn never wanted this life. He was a cobbler. A good one.”
Ara cocked her head as she listened, trying hard to focus on what Valta was saying even if things were starting to feel a little fuzzy.
“He joined the legion to pay his father’s debts. It kept his mother and brother from losing their caste.” Valta continued, explaining the reasoning for why Renn was here in the first place. “The poor and desperate here often sacrifice themselves for their family’s future.”
“Renn was a good man,” Ellana said as she approached and knelt next to Valta. “We’ll honour his sacrifice.”
Ara felt like this end seemed out of place for the dwarf. Everyone was focused on the man on the ground. Varric, Ellana, Valta; even Solas was staring down at the man with a look that was somewhere between grief and surprise. A curious expression – in her mind anyway – to have for someone he hardly knew. Yet she realized she felt the same way.
“He always seemed... indestructible.” Valta continued, her own pain clear in her voice, before glancing over at one of the things they had faced. “The armour on these warriors... there’s lyrium woven directly into the metal. And it’s bonded to their skin.”
That brought Ara’s attention back to those creatures and she felt herself grimacing. It was clear why she had felt that crackling feeling as they fought. She found it easier to focus on those creatures than to try and listen over the hum in her head.
These things were walking lyrium.
The idea that these things practically bathed themselves in lyrium was almost heinous to her but she had no idea why. She certainly knew she did not like lyrium but this feeling was more intense than even disliking how it made her feel.
She felt downright disgusted.
“Impossible to remove, but I know what we’d find underneath.” Valta’s voice echoed through the cavern and bounced around the thudding. “These are dwarves. Renn was killed by our own kind.”
That made it all so much worse in her mind.
She saw no reason why these dwarves would fight any of their own kind. Especially given that the Legion had a greater purpose among them. Even with the thudding in her head, she still found herself focusing on how it was not supposed to be like this.
Ara found herself frowning at the thoughts that crisscrossed her mind beneath the humming. Thoughts that struggled to the surface.
Renn had met a death worthy of any orc and yet... yet she felt it was wrong.
“Is something wrong?” Solas asked even as Valta and Ellana continued to talk.
“I... don’t know.” She answered truthfully as she tried to focus on what she was thinking.
“Is it the lyrium?” His voice was soft, almost cautious.
Her frown deepened as she looked over at the dead dwarves. That crackle-like feeling was still there.
Only it was not just a crackle.
Now that the danger had passed, replaced only by the grief at this man’s death, she could feel something else. Something that was inside the crackle.
Something that seemed to echo in time to the faint thudding in her head.
Thudding that had dimmed down as she looked down at Renn’s body. There was grief in his death that felt foreign as if it was not quite her pain that came at the dwarf’s death. Worse yet was the sense that it felt like she was staring at his corpse from a distance.
“Why do I feel sad?” She questioned in confusion.
Solas’ eyebrows quirked at the question.
“Ara, someone you just knew died.” He responded and it seemed like he was forcing his voice to be calm. “It’s only natural to feel sad that he’s dead.”
“No... it’s not...” She had no idea how to explain it to him.
She knew she should feel grief over the loss of a compatriot. Even if it was a small amount of grief because he was someone she had just met.
“This is more.” She frowned again as she tried to put it into words that did not quite make sense to herself. “It’s... He died a glorious death... yet... it feels... wrong.”
“Wrong?” Solas questioned, his eyes showing his concern and confusion. “In what way?”
“Just... wrong. Like this was not how he should have died.” Even with the words she gained from the Hist, she still did not feel like it was a valid explanation. There was nothing she could think of as to why she would even think that.
Clearly, Solas felt the same as she looked over at the look on his face. Concern, worry, grief. Emotions that she recognized. Yet they did not feel like what her mind was telling her.
“There is nothing to be done about that.” He said as he gently laid his hand on her arm.
“I suppose you’re right.” She answered as she looked over at Renn lying on the floor.
Yet her thoughts continued to rebel at the idea. The man was not supposed to be dead. Not here.
He was supposed to keep going.
He was supposed to come home.
He was supposed to see.
She blinked even as another thought formed in her head. One that made sense and did not make sense. One that was suddenly overwhelmed by the hum that was now a crescendo in her head.
It was less than a second later before she opened her mouth and three words in dovahzul came tumbling out.
All Ara’s earlier excitement and irritation had disappeared almost immediately as they approached the clear break in the ground ahead of them.
Forgotten were any questions about Varric’s people or the world beneath the earth. Her problems with Ellana, the things she wanted to speak to Solas about, all of it seemed to vanish in a puff of fear that she did not quite understand.
She frowned to herself as she tried to sort out why this new thing was enough to make her frightened. She, the Dragonborn, who had willingly faced every manner of beast or man. Not even the Daedric Princes had frightened her but yet, here she was, afraid of a little spark from the lyrium.
She did not want to even consider that she was afraid of the chasm they were about to go down into.
Skyrim had been full of subterranean ruins, this should be no worse than any of those.
Ara was certain it had something to do with the lyrium.
Ara had been left to her own devices after the war room incident, save for a delivery of extra clothes and the few servants who seemed to avoid her whenever she was out in the courtyard. It was rather strange but it seemed like all the people she had expected to see out there – Cassandra included – had all found other places to be.
Even if it was only few days after her outburst, it felt like an eternity.
So she decided to use it to her advantage.
She went to that one part of the courtyard where there were no stalls for merchants or tailors or any such thing. A few hardy trees grew there but she was more interested in the corner.
Short of someone leaping from the balcony above, no one was going to be able to sneak up on her. That and she knew it was enough out of the way that no one was going to bother her unless they really needed to. That particular spot was devoid of any doorway into the Keep which meant all the servants took other routes.
Ignoring anyone who did come along, she merely dropped herself down onto the ground and leaned back against the stone with a happy little sigh.
This was far better than any tiny room inside the Keep with nothing but the open sky as her ceiling.
She could even deal with the sounds of people scurrying about in exchange for the soft rustle of the wind in the trees and the smell of the dirt.
She closed her eyes and dozed off in the strangely balmy afternoon air.
It was Dorian's hesitant voice that first greeted her when she woke. She was not certain whether it was her actual attempt to wake herself or his arrival that had roused her but the man definitely had good timing.
She watched as he closed the door behind him with a swing of his hips as his arms were completely full of books.
She quirked an eyebrow at him as she pushed herself up into a sitting position. The blanket was ignored as it fell down and bunched across her mid section. Bandages wrapped over her shoulder but that was ignored as well. Ara was more interested in what exactly Dorian was doing there with books. Especially given she had not really been keeping up on her reading studies when it came to books.
Working the forge had been easier and far more her style.
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Ara was grateful for the green sight that met her when she finally did sleep. A field of spring grass ringed by a forest. A sight that was almost like home.
She almost expected to see Whiterun in the distance if she took a few steps into the trees. Yet she could not bring herself to go in search of the Hold that had become her home since becoming the Dragonborn. The mere thought of it being so close in her dreams brought more homesickness. A feeling that she pushed down and tried to ignore.
Ara did not move for what felt like an eternity but it seemed like nothing was happening. Like the meadow was all there was to the dream. Just an unending field of green with trees and forges knows what else beyond it.
She had hoped that Solas would show up as he normally did. There were questions she needed to ask and this was the most private of all places. There was just no sign of him or his wolf form.
Bull had not liked the trip back to Skyrim at all. It was a mostly quiet trip with very little stopping. Cassandra seemed of the mind to get them back to Skyhold immediately which he was definitely all for.
He was still trying to wrap his mind around what he had seen and what had happened in Denerim.
There was guilt over Ara closing the rift but there was more fear then anything.
In all his life, he had never once felt magic the way he had when Ara had shouted at the rift. He had felt magic before. That electric tang of lightening through the air or the heat of fire but it had never had it been like that.
It had not been like that before, even when she had shouted apart the stone at Skyhold and again with the fire breath. He had felt it but it had been like every other spell.
That shout against the rift had been different and that disturbed him on a level way beyond what he was comfortable with.
