#apologising

So I have started to re-watch the episodes and will be stopping and posting my thoughts as we go along.

So episode 1, Crowley's apology dance, but what is he actually apologising for? He got angry and upset and walked out on Aziraphale, leaving him to deal with his choices on his own. Yes, Aziraphale asked him for help (and Crowley had to press for a proper ask), Crowley refused to help because they couldn't agree on the solution, but why does he have to apologise for that?

The moment he learns that Aziraphale is really in serious danger, he rushes back in (to the score of Good Old-fashioned Loverboy, no less). And then he says sorry, and Aziraphale is acting all annoyed and upset demanding a full apology dance. Also notice how resentful and annoyed Aziraphale sounds when he lists the times when Crowley was right and Aziraphale had to apologise. For someone who claims to be good at forgiveness, he sure is not forgiving to Crowley in the moments when he proved Aziraphale wrong and the angel had to do the apologising.

And notice how in contrast to this Crowley just shallows his pride and does it. He doesn't argue, he just does it because Aziraphale's life is on the line and it is too important to risk more delays.

Aziraphale can forgive, but is not used to asking for forgiveness.

Crowley asks for forgiveness not just for things where he was objectively wrong, he asks for forgiveness where he has hurt the feelings of someone important to him, forgetting his own pride.

I'm not that good at apologies, but (I think) I need to be kinda specific in this one because of the circumstances of the thing I'm apologizing for. so it's extra difficult cause I (probably) don't want to seem like I'm coming with excuses.

i don't think that you need to apologise any differently to a person with NPD (or any disorder really) than someone who doesn't have it. that said, i don't have NPD, so those who do - please weigh in!

here are some articles that might help:

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you couldn't believe your parents had invited Loki for dinner at their house! it showed they really liked him, and while you were fine with him(you could tell he was a good guy), you felt you had better apologise for how pushy your parents were being. you didn't mind your parents trying to matchmake you, but you pitied Loki. your parents could be really intense.

when Loki had arrived bearing a house visiting gift, your parents greeted him enthusiastically(more so than usual, you couldn't believe this). he was somewhat taken aback, but smiled and greeted them. he acknowledged you with a nod of his head as well.

as soon as there was some time after dinner, your parents shooed both you and Loki to the garden to get to know each other. when the two of you were sitting on the bench, you apologised to Loki, then put both hands on your face in embarrassment.

"Why...are you apologising?" Loki tilted his head.

"Well...because my parents are being so pushy with trying to match you with me..." You said, with eyes shut tight.

"Ah. I see, they didn't tell you..." Loki had a look of realisation on his face.

You were surprised, "Tell me what?"

"T-The truth is..." Loki was stuttering and he had a shy expression, "I like you, and I asked your parents to matchmake us."

On a scale of one to Joey Batey, how British are you? 🇬🇧