#antizimbits

from oldest to newest

glass houses (1.9k t)

The first time he sees Parson and Zimmboni talking in some out of the way corner, Jack's shoulders tense while Parson casually slouches against the wall. Alexei wonders if he should go over and do something about it.

(pimms affair in the NHL bubble, because of course they would. fun fact: I was so nervous about posting this that I did it immediately before going to my mom's birthday dinner, so I wouldn't just be obsessively refreshing the page all night. and then the reception ended up being, frankly, beyond my wildest expectations)

everybody talks (9.1k t)

When Bittle said he had been approached for another book after the wedding. Jack had hugged him, and congratulated him, and asked what kind of recipes he was going to focus on this time. Bittle had laughed and said it wasn't actually another cookbook. This time another branch of his publisher had approached him about writing something more in line with his twitter and vlog. More like a memoir, focusing on his opinions and thoughts on the whirlwind of the last few years.

(less? fun fact: I started writing this while I was at home. alone. with food poisoning. on christmas. so I really let the spite flow freely on this one. take note if you ever decide to give one half of your romantic pairing addiction issues and a checkered past with the sports media landscape and then make their other half...a youtube diary volgger).

bubble baes (4.3k t)

So. Does everyone here know the J+K drama?

(bitchy groupchat coda to glass houses! even less? fun fact: this was written into the lead up to the 2025 US presidential inauguration. but, it did keep me from doomscrolling too much, and made at least a couple people smile on a very very shitty day).

vacation (all i ever wanted) (26k e)

In the fall, Kent comes home from a grueling two week long roadie to an invitation for Jack and Bittle's wedding. Tucked in the thick ivory envelope along with it is a handwritten note from Alicia, saying how much they hoped he could attend. That it would mean a lot for him to be there. As Jack's oldest friend.

(think "My Former Best Friend's Wedding." fun fact: if I had to call something my magnum opus, it would be this. throwing everyone's (or just my) favorite rom com tropes into a blender (along with whatever 4.19 was) to create the pimms second chance romance of my dreams).

all i dream of lately (can you come a little closer) (8.1k m)

It's one of those things that the press likes to hint at because it feels salacious and intrusive, without requiring them to print any salacious or intrusive details that could lead to either a loss of ad revenue or a lawsuit. Which has meant that for every year following the Aces fateful 2010 Cup run, Jack has been treated to at least one exposé about Kent Parson's sex life. Or more specifically, the lack of it, from April to ideally late June.

(regency romance ust without the regency part. fun fact: despite listening to it on repeat for many hours while writing this. I still managed to misremember the lyrics to closer by tegan and sara when typing the title, and didn't catch it for a few days).

give my love a four letter name (4.2k e)

"10 minutes, until food arrives." Jack says, placing his phone back down on the coffee table. "I can't." Kent grumbles from where he's propped up against Jack's chest. "I can't unless you get off me. And you already said no to that, so…" Jack lets his words trail off. "Swoops?" Kent asks, still muffled.

(my fist foray into pwp, and it's a threesome with the fandom's favorite made up guy, Swoops! fun fact: I wrote this for an audience of like four people (myself included), so any other interaction is just gravy. AU jumping off immediately from the end of all i dream).

when my time's up baby (22k e)

In a mocking little twist of either irony or fate. The announcement gets posted as Jack is packing to go spend a few weeks up at his families lake house.

(because we all know Kent retiring is gonna hit Jack like a ton of bricks. fun fact: happy birthday Kent Parson and Nothing Else).

i'm not calling you a ghost (27k m)

When Jack comes back to himself, he realizes with a start that he has no idea where he is or how he got there. Just that he's standing in a large bedroom decorated in shades of cool greys and purples, the view from it's windows obscured by translucent shades. He is thankfully fully clothed. Which at least proves that three years of living with Shitty hadn't rubbed off on him too much.

(remember how Jack said he was fine to drink, but he didn't do it at parties, and then the next time we saw him drinking was at a party? because I do. fun fact: I've lowkey been trying to title a fic after a f+tm song this entire time).

we keep tryin' to talk about us (2.7k e)

Jack had arrived in answer to Bittle's SOS text to find that the emergency was the combination of: a trashed house, six mild to severe hangovers, and finals. But it wasn't like he had anything better to do now that the Falcs season was over. So he loaded Bittle up with gatorade, sent him and the others to the library, and hoped the Haus had trash bags. It didn't.

(we all know the real reason Kent had to have that conversation with Bitty aka a 4.19 fix it fic. fun fact: idk I wrote this in like 36 hrs and almost titled it after a taylor swift song but lorde came through at the last minute).

you spin my head right round (9.2k e)

It started — where else? — on Twitter.

(my pimms fest 2025 fic! featuring hockeysexual Jack dealing with the all seeing eye of his hot ex, who is also the embodiment of American Hockey. fun fact: this was 1000% inspired by that tweet complaining about the bright yellow spongebob sphere graphic)

the light comes through (1.9k t)

They made it sound so easy in abstract. Follow all these right steps and say all these right things and — poof! — in eighteen years you'll have raised a productive member of society.

(a little coda/continuation to my first fic, glass houses! it was really fun to get back into the stream of consciousness style, and I hope people still vibe with it. fun(?) fact: I come from a long line of divorces, and all I can say is: yay divorce!).

part-time soulmate (full-time problem) (5.3k e)

Felix arrived at the Las Vegas Aces' unofficial welcome party with one goal: to not embarrass himself in front of his new teammates or, more importantly, his new Captain Kent 'Just Parse is fine' Parson.

(did you see my pimms + 'guy the fandom made up' threesome fic and think that sounded way too niche? well get ready for the sequel featuring 3k worth of my Aces' rookie OC. fun fact: first time repeating artists for the song titles, and of course it's fob).

paused for a long time (1.3k m)

Jack hadn't let himself think much about the games — refused to let his parents even watch in 2010; the ones Bob had been supposed to commentate for, and Kent hadn't been supposed to get near; until a string of injuries left USA Hockey turning to their newest phenom and Jack shutting himself in his room — and then it hadn't mattered anymore. Another dream he'd missed out on. Until now.

(using sociopolitical events to put these two in a jar again. fun fact: this is my 13th work, which is 1300 words, and was posted on 2/13: Friday the 13th… you might think even ONE of those was intentional but nope!).

you got a fast car (4.5k, t)

American Thanksgiving was always a busy weekend. Endless streams of tech bros and starving artists flying in from Los Angeles, New York, Vancouver, or San Francisco, all desperate to prove to their friends and families back home that they either weren't struggling, or were huge douche bags.

(the check please x heated rivalry crossover, featuring Kent + Svetlana friendship and equal but opposite approaches to fucking your best friend. fun fact: this basically sprung into my brain fully formed while I was reading (and agreeing with) a tumblr post about how unnecessary it would be to crossover check please and heated rivalry).

getting close to something (3.4k, t)

Just after eleven Ilya leaves her at the bar for a 'smoke break' — like she hasn't been there for every single withdrawal bitchfest since he'd started trying to quit last year —

(sequel to the check please x heated rivalry crossover, featuring the 2016 awards after party and questionable life advice from a bunch of rich twenty-somethings. fun(?) fact: while I firmly believe you can't "steal" a person, this is probably the closest I'll ever get to a gala heist fic).

can't do it on my own (3.4k, e)

"Ah Ha!" Jack clears his throat and glances across the table at Troy — graciously deciding to ignore the eye roll he gets in the face of his own impending victory — before his train of thought gets thoroughly derailed by a damp towel landing at his feet. "Whoever ends this stupid argument gets to fuck me," Kent announces.

(the fob titles will continue until morale improves (at least my morale). third installement in my most niche series! fun fact: truly this has been sitting in my drafts fro like 6 months, but the others got a couple of kudos recently so I decided it was time finally finish editing this fic. never doubt your power).

winner takes it all (5.3k, m)

Fiddling with his empty shot glass, Jack stays glued to the highlights while the Falcs on screen and in the bar turn away to celebrate the game being called in their favor. Watching what he had missed hours ago; Kent ripping his gloves off, and scooping his helmet up as he storms off the ice. Jack the only one who sees the heat in his eyes and the rigidness of his spine, his desperation telegraphed for anyone who knows what to look for, almost like — Jack knocks the glass to the table with a clatter — like Kent had been pulling out all the stops for anything that would give him the win. And Jack.