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A creative admin template built with React, Next.js and Ant Design. It comes out of the box with support for SSR and comes with light and dark colour schemes.
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It was Tuesday, specifically it was in the month of February, when I came to school to study for exams and do my observations for my writing geography course. 10am was quite early for me to arrive at school as I usually come at a later time in the day for my lecture. It was a gloomy day as the forecast predicted it was going to be a snowy storm. Walking from parking lot A into the Social Sciences Building (MW) did not make a change in my mood, as it was still gloomy inside the building with all the dim lights. While I was making my way into classroom MW 170 , I felt so many different emotions and had so many questions about the structure, and design of the building. With a heavy backpack and a cup of Tim Hortons regular coffee to keep me awake, I entered room MW170. As I stood in front of MW170, I then realized there was a lecture happening. I paced back and forth in front of the door contemplating whether I should walk into the ongoing lecture and if I should sit as if I was enrolled into the course or wait until lecture was over. After five minutes of contemplating about what to do, I realized I had nothing to lose, so I took a deep breath in and walked confidently into lecture, but also secretly hoping that no one would notice me. Success! I did not get any weird glares from the professor and students. This feeling made me feel as if I was Jane Jacobs trying to blend in with monkeys in order to do observational research.
As I looked around for a seat the only spot that was empty was a seat towards the top of the classroom which forced me to walk up the stairs. “Excuse me, sorry” I muttered, as I had to interrupt the students that were sitting in that row to get to the empty spot in the middle. The awkward feeling made me feel like I was invading everyone’s personal space. I was unable to observe the classroom for the first half an hour as I kept looking around to see if anyone was looking at me, the feeling of not belonging in the lecture was a new concept for me. It made me realize that I only felt a sense of belonging in that classroom if I enrolled in a course, which demonstrated to me the power and sense of community each course invokes. This was also similar to my experience during my first year as I did not join any clubs or stay back after lectures and tutorials to study or hang out with friends.
When I finally got comfortable in the classroom, I started to wonder how individuals with wheelchairs felt in this space of MW 170. There was no ramps for students to go to the top, consequently leaving no choice but for individuals with accessibility needs to sit at the bottom. Another word that came to mind when sitting there doing my observations, was congested. The feeling of sitting in the middle of individuals I did not know was comparable to the feeling of standing in a crowded subway. You have space between individuals yet you also feel crammed and feel like you cannot move. The lighting of the room also made be feel very uneasy as there was only windows located at the back. Having windows at the back of the classroom was very uneasy as no one could see the natural lighting except the professor who was at the front. I was unaware if the snow had stopped or if it was sunny, but had to predict it based on the natural lighting flowing in, which in my case was minimal as it was very snowy and dim outside.
Sitting there listening to the professor while analyzing the architectural structure of the classroom was really hard to do as I was scared the professor would notice me not paying attention. Feeling this anxious, i immediately thought of Michel Focault’s concept of the panopticon, as the classroom was designed in a way to make me feel as though there is constant surveillance. The panopticon is a circular model that was used in prisons and institutions (in the 1980’s) which would allow prisoners to be watched by a guard but the inmates would not have knowledge if they were being watched. The idea that prisoners could not tell if they were being watched caused prisoners to feel as though they are under surveillance all the time. The classroom is designed in a similar way as the classroom seating is in a circular arch. The professor can not pay attention to what every student is doing at a singular time but the pressure that the professor is in the front of the room observing causes me to feel as though i am being watched. I found myself gravitating to the clock on the left side of the room, almost is if I was counting down when the lecture would end. Tick tock, tick tock, it felt like time was going by slow.