#angstiest

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

I had no idea so I had to ask my friends. Apparently Shaving is my angstiest (and goriest) fic I’ve written... and when I think of it, it probably is. Any other angst I’ve come up with is a secret.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

This one’s a tough one because I don’t particularly like anything I write? Also I hardly remember them I went through some that looked interesting to me and two of them stood out but I decided to go for the cute one.

“Grunkle Stan?” Dipper asks quietly.

“Hm?” The tired man hums, stirring even at the boy’s quiet voice.

“You and Grunkle Ford will always be around to keep the monsters away, right?”

Stanley’s arm hugs the boy closer to his side and he says, “Yeah, kid. Of course we will.”

-Monster Under the Bed

Welcome to destiel! If you think that Buffy and Angel had it rough, you’re in for an angst ride of a lifetime with Dean and Castiel. ;)

For those who are not familiar with Buffy/Angel or the plot of “I will remember you” episode (Angel The series, season 1, episode 8) here’s a short, spoilerish summary. Vampire slayer Buffy and vampire Angel are in love, but can’t be together intimately because of a terrible curse. In the episode, the curse is lifted and and they have the best sex ever. Except, there’re consequences and decision is made to return to previous status quo. The price - Angel will always remember their night together while Buffy will forget it.

We don’t know of any destiel fic with this exact premise but there’s plenty of fics that play around with “sudden happy times until one of them forgot everything” trope. At least Buffy and Angel knew that their love is mutual, Dean and Cas never had that luxury. Here’s some fics we think capture this tragedy the best. Canonverse fics will have spoilers for their respective seasons, take care if you’re not up to date with the show.

Fics were Dean and Cas don’t end up together romantically are marked with unhappyish here and their reviews have unhappyish tag.  

I. canon verse fics where for some supernatural reason Dean and Cas were suddenly (happy) together, followed by one of them forgetting everything

a place for us (submitted rec) (unhappyish)  

Control (unhappyish)

Create the Light

Found In A Land Of Make Believe (unhappyish)

Jubilees (unhappyish)

only if for a night (submitted rec)

The Path of Fireflies

Smells Like Roses

The Story of You and Me

We Are Such Stuff

II. alternate time line or time travel fics where only one remembers their relationship

A Crash Course in Someone Else’s History

a turn of the earth

Cloudbreak (unhappyish)

How A Righteous Man Raises A Rose (kind of?)

Outrun My Gun

Pro Tempore (unhappyish)

This Thing Called Free Will (kind of?)

III. angsty fics with memory loss from our amnesia tag

Muscle Memory

Tethered

Lol, we get this question so often that it is actually on our FAQ and the link goes directly to our tragedy tag (fics with Major Character Death). But that is kind of a technical approach and not everybody wants to read an MCD fic, right? And there’s a difference between a sad fic with happy/open ending and angsty fic with a tragic ending. Some time ago, mods here had a discussion about the saddest fic and we couldn’t all agree on the same fic! This time we decided to give you saddest fics by the mod and our guest reviewer, scaramouche.

Saddest fics from flyingcatstiel - As a rule, I don’t read MCD fics, which means that I’ve not read the most famous destiel tearjerkers. Except for that one time when my very first canon fic was Reflection of You (MCD and endverse!). Needless to say, I didn’t read any SU fics for a long time. So, I really can’t tell you how much my saddest fic compares to yours. These are fics that sneaked upon me, put me through an emotional wringer and lingered with me:

Chances by thecouchcarrot

cut it out, and then restart by cheesewithmy

It’s getting dark, too dark to see (submitted rec)

Muscle Memory by komodobits

Oh What A Beautiful City by moosefeels

The Sawdust Men by linoresearch

Sleight of Hand by melo

Smells Like Roses by bomarlowe

Someone I Forgot to Be by mathildadavis

the taste of gravel in the mouth by beenghosting

Things that Leave Marks by thestoryinsideme

Saddest fics from Kyrie - I read MCD and then drown in a pool of tears while saying, “that was so beautiful…sniff, sniff.” Most of these fics are MCD.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven by amarillogrande

How A Righteous Man Raises A Rose by swordofmymouth

In The Silence Afterward by ibroketuesday

In the Spine (submitted rec) by castiel_makes_his_mark_on_me

The Inexhaustible Silence of Houses 

The Interview by speary

The Last Moonlight Serenade (not MCD!) by gankyourdarlings

Ninety One Whiskey (update: not MCD, but so many tears) by komodobits

Not All The Way Through by tracy_loo_who

Remnants (not MCD, tiny ficlet that moved me) by mclachlan

Terms Of Service by misachan

This Thing Called Free Will by tracy_loo_who

Saddest fics from scaramouche - I’m all about the pain that comes from the characters falling very, very low, and then slowly clawing their way back up. Hurt and healing, that’s my jam. 

Doghouse Roses (unofficially recced here and here) by janie_tangerine

Down Like Water by museaway

Ghost Dance by omphalos

Kingdom Come by cheesewithmy

The Last Moonlight Serenade by gankyourdarlings

My Eyes Are An Ocean by entangled_now

White Albatross by spnergiout

Your Heart Makes by schmerzerling

Note: we are going to link the saddest fic question from our FAQ to this post. You may also like our unrequited tag (fics where one is certain that their love is not returned) and unhappyish tag (fics where they separate at the end). 

First of all, I would definitely suggest cruising the angst tag and looking for reviews where we get kind of emotional. YMMV with these (similar to how we all have different tastes, we all are affected differently by fic).

There’s only been a few fics that have made me cry but are ultimately happy (for me personally; but I didn’t tear up for most of the fics on our tragedy tag…including ISOH):

Point Pleasant

Redemption Road

Some emotional stories Rasma picked out for you:

All the Way

The Ghosts of Blackthorn Hall

Going Forward

Kiss You When It’s Dangerous