Being an Endeavor stan is complicated. Mostly because I end up reading a lot of meta and commentary that is so deeply, deeply young. And 100%, I'm never going to push a character on people that they don't like/don't want to engage with. God knows there are dozens of fandom favorite blorbos that I would leave on Bikini Atoll without a promise of rain, but woof.

I love Endeavor because he figured out he was wrong. That he hurt people. That he owned up to it, not just in private and with an expectation of forgiveness, but also in public. Again, with the same lack of expectation of forgiveness.

An apology and a concerted effort to change the behavior is beautiful in and of itself. Add in the lack of expectation of forgiveness?

*chef's kiss*

Also, like all these kids under the age of 25. There is a whole lot of time and space to do their healing and eventually engage with their dad (or not) within their own rates of healing.

Maybe they thought they were doing the right thing. Maybe they didn’t know they were hurting you. Maybe they’ve changed. Maybe you see them love, maybe you see them overcome their own past. Maybe you make amends with them but fear their old selves and when you see that self come back even for a moment you can’t take it. What about when you’re so scared you get angry or sad and they make you feel like you’re doing something wrong even though they have power over you. They say they feel like they’re walking on eggshells around YOU that YOURE yelling at them that YOU are hurting them and sometimes you do, of course you do but it happens so much and even if they have changed even if they do love theres the chance they keep insisting it wasn’t their fault. That they didn’t know. That YOU should’ve said something.

But you were a child.

They weren’t.

They had power over you.

And even if you'll never really "move on" from it, because you were a teenager, and people hurt you, and you heard the words of an anthem, and you came to love that country and those characters, maybe you can build something new, too. Because some part of you, you want something new, too. You want to learn, and to grow, and to make new things, not just sit there with this story that you'll probably always love, always love, always love.

You can have both.

I know you tried to "move on", and here you are again. And it's something worth remembering, it's something special, something worth loving.