#and experiences

PAGE ONE

[A yellow page. I’m on the left in a full-body drawing. I’m fat and lightskin with freckles and dark, short, curly hair and dark eyes. On this page I’m wearing a yellowish-orange long-sleeved shirt, an open blue button up shirt, and denim shorts with red shoes. I have wire-rimmed glasses on. A note next to me says “This would be one of my outfits if I was a comic book character.”]

[2022 is written on the top of the page with each number being a different color:   In December 2021 I saved up to buy an ipad and procreate, and I’ve talked before about how it’s genuinely revolutionized the way I’m able to draw.

My old setup was slow and glitchy. I couldn’t draw uninterrupted for half an hour. I’ve mentioned before that drawing with procreate felt like I was drawing digitally for the first time.

This meant I could draw faster and doodle. I could try new things, because I wouldn’t feel like I was wasting time if I didn’t like the end result.

[Two drawings are on the page: a drawing of yamcha, tien, and chiaotzu tending to farmland, and a drawing of tien and yamcha on a wooden staircase outside, enjoying a summer day. Both of these drawings have been posted to twitter before.]

I like both of these drawings but this one [the older one of tien, yamcha, and chiaotzu farming] has less refined rendering because I couldn’t take my time with it. That being said, it still took me 2 years to complete it.

In comparison, with my new setup this one [the summer day one] took 3 days to complete.

[a yellow post-it note is on the summer drawing. it says “I posted these one month apart.”]

[the page has stickers and colored pencil doodles on it. there is a holographic sticker of a sun, a holographic sticker of a strawberry, a doodle of a cloud and rainbow, a doodle of strawberries and a daikon radish, and stamps of green clovers on the page.]

PAGE TWO

[A black page. Dark red drops are on the page. My hair is up in a curly bun. I’m wearing clear glasses, vampire teeth, a wine-red button up shirt with a rose and leaf pattern on it, a black miniskirt, red fishnet tights, and black boots. A note next to me says “my outfit for a Halloween party. I was a vampire {an inexpensive costume lmao}”]

I applied to the Shortbox Comics Fair and didn’t get in. I kept flipping between “they don’t know what I’m capable of” and “if they don’t know what I’m capable of, that’s the fault of my portfolio.”

[A red post-it note shaped like a drop of blood is being held to the page by a glow-in-the-dark bat sticker. It says “I had to {and have to} prove to myself what I’m capable of. I’m still finding out!”]

I realized that I had fallen into a pattern of approaching each drawing as a puzzle or exercise instead of starting from a place of emotionality or imagination/excitement. It was like I was just proving over and over that I can render instead of feeling genuinely excited about any ideas I had. I was closed off to learning, and to allowing myself to feel things through my art.

[A timeline has been drawn on a piece of dark blue construction paper and taped to the page. A moon cut from roughly textured purple paper is glued to the timeline as well.]

I spent a lot of 2022 struggling with how I felt about art and creating.

Jan: “I don’t know how I’m feeling about art…”

Mar: “I’ve mended much of my relationship to art…”

Dec: “I’ve hit my personal limitation with art…”

Jan: “I’m more aware of the ways I can improve…”

Now, going into 2023 I feel a lot more solid about my relationship to art, even though I don’t know what the future holds.

[A drawing of ??? mob in a field of flowers as a storm cloud approaches is taped to the page. There’s a post-it note on the drawing that says “This drawing was a critical turning point. When I looked at it I realized how much I was just focused on rendering individual things and not focusing on the whole.”]

[Hot pink dots of glitter glue and blue sparkles drawn with colored pencil are all throughout the page.]

PAGE THREE

[A bright lime green page. Abstract deco stickers in shades of pink, purple, and blue scatter the page. There are also a couple of holographic heart stickers. There are scribbles of glitter from a pen or glitter glue in some of the corners of the page. I’m wearing a pink top with long flow sleeves and a bright apple green pleather skirt, hot pink giant fishnet tights, and olive green platform boots. A note near me says “Birthday outfit!” A note near my boots says “Chunky heels are easier to walk in.”]

[A few drawings have been taped on the page in a row. They are a drawing of Tien, a drawing of Chabago {an OC}, and Mob standing in front of a cobblestone half-wall. Each picture has more complex values than the last.]

Last year I learned more about values. I’ve been thinking more about composition. I plan to keep learning.

[A piece of a pink page of lined paper has been taped on the page. It says “I want to choose expressiveness over complete control EVERY TIME.” Two drawings have been taped on top of the piece of pink paper. They are a drawing of Mob bathed in purple light and standing in front of a large orange cloud with a note that says “still my fav art piece from 2022” and a page of drawings of Emi and Mob from the mp100 mini fan book with a not that says “another fav.”]

[There is a light blue sticky note that says “If a piece of art teaches me something, I save it.”]

[There is a post-it note that looks like a slice of green apple. On it is a list of things I want to do.]

I WANT TO…

… make a short comic!

… participate in a zine!

… buy lots of people’s art!

… go to a con!

… open commissions!

… do an art trade!

AND FIND THE ART I LOVE TO MAKE WHERE IF I DON’T MAKE IT, NO ONE ELSE WILL!

[Underneath the apple post-it note is another slip of lined pink paper with a short list about how I process the way I choose to draw things.]

I PROCESS DRAWING THROUGH 3 STEPS:

The way I think something looks

The way the thing actually looks

The way the thing makes me feel.

[A light blue piece of paper has been taped onto the bottom corner of the page. It says “Working harder/more doesn’t necessarily mean you’re making better work.”]

PAGE FOUR

[This page is light blue and says 2023 in pink and white lettering at the top of the page. Gold star stickers and forget me not stickers are across the page, as well as stamps of purple hearts. I’m on the right of the page, wearing a loosely checkered white and blue dress, a being pullover, and brown boots, with a brown and tan bag. A note near me says “Going to the art museum with my best friend <3”]

[A white post it note in the shape of a flower is stuck to the top left corner of the page. It’s a list of things I want to draw more of.]

Things I want to draw more of…

Bicycles, cafes, telephones with long curly wires, pools and the beach, tennis and table tennis, fountains, trains, busses, subways, birds, bells!

[A piece of kraft paper is taped to the page with pink tape. It says “I’ve been doing more to listen to the inner voice of childlike excitement about drawing. It’s nice because that voice is also more honest about when it’s time to take a break. I want to think more about what I want from art, not just drawing.”]

[In the corner, “I’m starting to feel more comfortable with the idea of sharing personal work” is written in pink glitter gel pen.]

[There is a piece of cream-colored paper shaped like a cloud taped to the page with pink tape. It says “New Art Practices” in multi-colored colored pencil with a rainbow drawn in colored pencil underneath.]

New Art Practices:

Draw more compositionally different thumbnails for each drawing I do

Work on compositions and understanding of color, line weight, lettering, inking etc. for storytelling

Render my thumbnails more thoughtfully to facilitate clearer understanding of my concepts and ideas

[Above the cloud paper is a drawing of Mob standing in a field as a warm wind blows. It’s the cover of the mp100 mini fan book. It’s framed by a cream-colored doily. A cream-colored circle of paper is stuck to the drawing by a glittery pink heart sticker. The circle of paper says “ The thing I’m proudest of from 2022 is the fan book I made. I drew all the pictures in one day, then colored them on the 2nd day. I think the quick turnaround stopped me from overthinking, and I felt a great sense of freedom within the process. Still, I wonder what I could make with a week or a month.”]